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THE BRITISH AMERICAN.

33 9a

per honor of places and pensions, he evi- dently wishes to increase the fees of the Priest of Hymen, in which capacity he occasionally oﬂiciates, for in page 3, he pathetically deplores the fate of “young persons in farmers familes who have long been looking out for aplaee to settle in, with the'object of their affections—Now Mr. Editor, he should have known that in this Island no lady. is allowed to have more than one husband, and Heaven knows! no christian man in his senses, [with all ktheir attractions] would like to have

'more than one wife—I would therefore say with the Quaker in Walter Collyton, “Read Malthus, young man! read Mal- thus”!!

He all says that “ In England every post is occupied.” Now I would beg the gen- tlemen t9 recollect that there is little chance of their getting posts here, as they are all taken up by the members of the House of Assembly, or their favourites. What a proﬁciency he must have made in Cocker, when, after telling us in page 4 that the Emigration to Canada last season was 50,000, he shew us that this is “the twentieth part ofamillion.” Oh, rare J‘. L. L.!! In page 5. he says “ shivering and chattering of the teeth are very unusual here.” If he were at the Supreme Court he might have seen people’s teeth shivering, if his ex- perience as a J.. P. has not already con- vinced him; and as to “chattering,” Heaven help us! mine have done little else this month past. The note on page 6 has enabled him to sport a little of the sublime—as he says “ there are no wild extravagancnes of scenery here,” Oh! ﬁe, ﬁci‘J. L. L.!! l have heard of the beauties of nature—but never that she was a proﬁligate spendthrift; then again, only think of'a “sentimental ocean!” busy craft! &c. &c. Truly Mr. \Vhite J. L. L. should not quarrel with nature, as this tract has enabled him to shew, that had he made the is- land it would have been 3 Paradise. On second thoughts. I think that he should attend the Legislative Examinations at the Charlotte-Town Grammar School.

in page 7 he proves himself also an agriculturist of the ﬁrst water, when he triumphantly asks “What judicious far- mer would prefer a heavy clay, to a fertile sand”. Hear that Mr. Cobbett! But as J. L. L. says “shoes are hard to be obtained,” and wishes to increase

,the exports of the country. 1 have a plan to obviate this, and think in ma- king it public Iconfer an obligation on the human' race. I What a delightful prospecti'vevt'hat my name may be bles- sed by posgirl'it-y,-perhaps as much as lhaﬁcgthéY’ titer. of a “Brief account of "aniliw . .,"..,\,’- 3. g

Prince Edward island.” Now Sir, there are some ideas between honour and proﬁt entering that part of my cranium where the brain should have been, which I may give the public through you at a future day, like J. ‘L. L. l have my delightfulanticipations, which lmight communicate to you, but] recollect l was talking of my Leather Plan, and I am sure every person must see its uti- lity and necessity, it is simply this:--Let the Club, or some other Patriotic Body, offer a premium for the best machine that can enable the inhabitants yearly to cast “their own hides,” Now Sir, as there are nearly 40,000 inhabitants in the Island there would be so many hides created every year, which at 103 each, would be 20,0001. clear pro- ﬁt to the country, this would enable the farmer to pay the Civil List, without the dreadfulconsequences to our Treasury Notes, that a certain Orator seems to fear. Well Sir, ‘I have a plan of one, that I think would effect this, and by a little additional improvement it might be so constructed that members 0f the House of Assembly could retain their hides a posteriori and have them tanned on J. L. US principles. I would also shggest that this right should be conﬁned by letters patent to members of Public Bodies; and perhaps in a few generations, this distinguishing appen- dage might descend to the children of those thus ennobled. Sir, Ilove my coantry. and foster a wish that those who provide for it (and themselves) should be accommodated as they deserve, and as Patriotism is pt'qﬁl, Ihumbly hope that J. L. L. and myself may be allowed to wearthe distinguishing garment, and be paidJOS. per day [that being I be- lieve the current wages of those who think for the public] as a reward for our present, and past services. To be continued.

A TRUE corv. SIR,

Wad ye hae the guidness to aloo thes scral to be pat into your guid an’ valable British American ; for the infor- mation of our Kirk o’ Scotlan’ folks' As ye ken I dina naw ye, ye maun excuse-me for thes lruble; ye ken I cam’ frae a pert they ca’ Lochcunnoch, i’ the wast 0’ Scot- lan’ whar ye ken they ketch a great mo- ny 0’ those black sleekit beastis they ca’ Lochcunnoch leeches, I dina mean horse leeches, I mean such as sucks human blood, nu yer kenl maun gie ye a litle o’ my sin pedagree._ My feather was a guid faithfu kirk o’scotlan’ man, god bles him, an? my pair guid deer mither was, I belive, what

I, x they ca’ a I’aseupahant or a (raskupalian ye ken thats the English hesgh Church’ for shi was frae a pert they ca‘ north Cum: berland, in som toon or: perish i‘ that quin. try: she was weel bred, an‘ brought up ' the hoose of an hairass, as my pujr deg; mither aye ca‘d her, wha nu is mared to a great man, frae Irelan‘, they ca‘ him the Markus of Londondery or sotn sic a name Nu ye ken, I maun gie ye a hint o‘what wad wish ye to tell me, an‘ unco sair o sair, sair. I am to be under the needcesity an‘ it gars a‘ my hair stan‘ upo‘ en’ whenI think on‘t. Ye ken I cam letly frae hame I mean free Scotlan‘. I dina ken the ways 0‘ the folks here fu‘ weel yet, but 1 km whan my puir auld fethar was belman o.- the kirk at Lochcunnah, a‘ the Elders was 0‘ the best an‘ maist guidly folks that coud be picked oot o‘ a‘ the perish. Ye maun ken I was the other day i‘ this toon, mm 1 gied to see a Magestrets Court as the ca‘ it an‘ good Lord hae mercy on us, what was on the carput, but a-man sood for sum det belanging to the kirk, byfne o‘ the El- dars, to my great extonishment an‘ freght, it was kuist up to the Elders very teeth i‘ the presence 0‘ the Mage’stret, an‘ a‘ the folks t‘ the Court, that he was vary fond o’ wenching, what. they ca‘ in my Quiutry runnin after the lasses to prie ther mu, an‘ ye maun gess what fallows. The Lord help us, What is war than a‘ they tel ushe has a guid wife 0’ his. ain, an’ a whcen weeans; a mon, mon, dread- fu, dreadfu. Ye ken if an Eldar at hame 0’ the kirk o’ Scotlan’. wad be guilty 0’ sic lie crime, he wad be placed upo’ the cutty stool seven lang Sundays, an’ neer wad he alood ‘ to pat his foot i’ the inside 0’ the kirk Sesshon Hoose again, an’ mair than a" this, its unco currius, as i am told there are but two Minsterst o’ the kirk 0’ Scotlan’ i’ this Islan’ wha na doot kens the regilation an’ rules 0’ the kirk, wha sats doon an’ taks ther diner an’ super, an’ sent drink we a man 0’ sic lic habit; guid lord man its dreadfu’. Ye ken folks tel me ye are a very candid man,_all I want of ye is to ken wad ye adVISe me to writ hame to my ‘Feathar the belman 0’ Lochcunnoch klrk near Glasgow, we this dreadfu’ story: ' wha wad I think gar a’ this to be prented i’ the Heelan Messenger, wh‘a. nae doot will mak’ aa’fu‘ SW" ‘ about it, an‘ prevent- sic a cafakte" to be in sic a guidly ofﬁce again- Ye mana be angry wr’ me to ax I“;