Do you want to do something beneficial for the environment? Do you want to save the lives of millions of wild animals and birds? Do you want to protect endangered animals such as the Piping Plover? Then shoot your cat. And while you’re at, it shoot all your neighbours’ cats and the ones at the barn up the road from your house.

In the United States alone there are an esti- mated 55 million house cats. Out of these approximately 20% of them are kept inside all day or are unable or unwilling to hunt. As for the other 44 million animals, let’s be conserva- tive and say that only one out of ten will kill a bird today. That means that today alone, 4.4 million song birds were killed in the U.S. by house cats and that this year 160.4 million song birds will become tender vittles.

Many of these song birds will be rare or endangered; cats don’t see birds as a species, they see them as a warm snack or an interesting toy. They can’t tell the difference between an American Blue bird (rare) and an American Robin (thicker n’ flies). True, they may kill millions of rodents, but when they do this they are simply removing a food resource that sus- tains native wildlife suchas foxes, hawks, owls, and raccoons. The harm they do overshadows the good. Idon’t hate cats. Ihave one and for years he left the remains of two mice on the doorstep every morning. This parleyed into 730 little corpses every year - not bad considering the ones he probably ate in the field before bringing the others home. Today my cat wears a bell and no little mice are brought home half

alive and mangled because he is also kept in at night - when cats most prefer to hunt.

If you have a cat, keep it in the house. If it must leave the house, put a loud, obnoxious bell on it so that other animals can hear it coming. If you see your cat stalking an animal, chase it away. Don’t let your kitty become an ecologi- cal terrorist. Hunters in P.E.I. and every other province and state are entitled and, in fact, encouraged to shoot any feral cat (or dog) they happen across - by definition this means if Sylvester ain’t got a collar, he’s hamburger. So far, few hunters exercise this right, but if they were informed as to the number of ducklings and young grouse that wild, stray, and house cats destroyed, you can bet there would be fur balls all over the place.

BIODEFINITIONS Sexual reproduction: the production of rea- sonable facsimiles by two individuals of oppo- site gender engaged in a pleasurable (usually) act "Asexual reproduction: The Stork Microbiology: the study of objects too small to be seen with the naked eye. Namely: the brains of arts students, the hearts of business students, the vocabulary of chemists, and the sexual appendages of engineers.

UPCOMING EVENTS

We’ll let you know more later.

[T'S TIME FOR DOMINO'S PIZZA"

EXPERIENCE JAPAN

About 350 Canadians will experience Japan as Assistant English Teachers beginning August 1, 1994.

The 1994 Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) Programme

STUDENT SPECIAL

Large 15" pepperoni & cheese For Only $9.99 plus tax

The JET Programme is an international cultural exchange sponsored by the by the Government of Japan. Applicants must be Canadian, have a bachelors degree by the end of June 1994 and preferably be under the age of 35. Salary is approximately $3,000 Canadian/month.

Do not send resumes. For details and an application form write The JET Desk Consulate-General of Japan

Weiner Sorcha 600 de la Gauchetiere West, Suite 1785 ¢ Fast free delivery Montreal, QC

(No faxes please!)

¢ Guaranteed delivery within 30 minutes

ca 566-9000

(QTUDENTSAVER 393 University Avenue

October 14, 1993/X-Press/25