> et now for eee

The Rants of a

vos and Vanee Tey could yor

Geez. Destroying the cultural event of the year and ruining the integri- ty of the U.S. entertainment busi- ness. Jerks. Just when do the cops plan on arresting them for that stunt? Like, I. can see them keeping Janet out of prison just so she does- n't get in any brawls with her broth- er, but I'm pretty sure that if I went around ripping off women's cloth-

ing, I'd be cea still spersonat-%! ke ~— phat T ek a a be throw? ae ison Le sae cupid epee e Ss ma commerciat re

Sleepy Hollow for at least awhile. Personally, I still think that Timberlake should be thrown in prison for those stupid MacDonald's commercials that he made. But I guess I can also see their side of it. If it gets to the point that the U.S. is pushed to ban famous people from going around ripping off each other's clothing in public, then they're just letting the terrorists win.

Is it normal for someone not to like any of the songs on the top 9 at 9? Or am I even supposed to be listen- ing to that stuff anymore? No, Clay, I don't care if you're invisible or not, you cannot watch me in my room. I'm only doing homework anyway. Surely with the power to be imperceptible to the human eye you could find something a bit more exciting to do. Actually, if you're going invisible, why not go the whole nine yards and become inaudible too. The tone deaf man that you can't see or hear. That's my

kind of Clay Aiken. And Chingy, you cannot just make

up words because they rhyme. ‘Right Thurr'? Kind of reminds me

of Nelly's 'Hot in Herre.' It's just a

coincidence you toured with him last summer right? Sample Dat Ass? How about sample a dialect that humans can relate to? But who am I to judge, I have an impeccable vocabulary and you don't see me hauling in millions of dollars. I guess being incomprehensible is what's hot at the moment. Fo shizzie?

And movies. Sigh. 'You Got Served'? I cannot await the cine- matic brilliance and invigorating plot that can only come from such an obviously well-thought out con- cept. 'Bring It On Again’? Yeah, like the first one wasn't bad enough.

U.S. President George W. Bush and —

British Prime Minister Tony Blair were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize last week. Oops. I thought peace was when you didn't drop bombs on other countries. My mistake. And now Bush and Blair are bewildered as to where the

weapons of mass destruction are. ©

That's right, 9 months before a U.S. election, Old George and Tony w O Ops Peace sons

Chought

on you P bombs un aoe teas aes decide that they better come up with an excuse for causing the deaths of 8,000 human beings. I'm sorry, but I cannot stand NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. Who decided that some short dumb ass guy who's never played in the

ae

etely

different:

University Student

league should be the head of the whole organization? And now, with the end of the player's collective bargaining agreement bearing

“Who de ‘ €Cide cd short age lipage ft Ba Who't« S Neve on icine the leag, @ the ee Le Of Che ea he ad Org le

anir at 7 On?”

down on us, he decides that a salary cap is unnecessary. You're right Gary. Let's keep on pouring the millions out while small-market teams can barely afford to stay afloat. Jaromir Jagr's contract alone, that sent him to join Captain Concussion and his overpaid mer- cenaries, totals $77 million over 7 years (that's $11 million a year for all you Arts students). Does no one else think this is ridiculous? I'm sure that most players could man-

age to get by on a meager $2 or 3 million salary. Especially since the most that any of us who graduate will earn will be somewhere between $200,000 a year for saving lives, and $6.75 an hour for flip- ping burgers. The way I see it, if you're going to go through all this trouble, you might as well insist on a salary cap, because if you don't, Mr. Bettman could lead the league straight into bankruptcy. I don't think the players really have much of a right to complain about getting a few million for playing a game 9 months of the year. It's better than not having a league to play in at all. So get your act together Gary -- otherwise, the 2004 Champion Toronto Maple Leafs could end up being the last team to ever hoist the cup.

Have a good one! ryangallant@hotmail.com

10:00

Graduation Ring Days

Feb 24th & 25th

- 4:00 PM Place your order with representative from

Norton’s Jewelers @ UPEI Bookstore

UPEI Cadre February 24, 2004 page 11