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14. Next year will be, on average, 39% better than this year— close to

75% by times.

15. The keyboard shortcut for the EM dash is ALT-0151.

16. Matthew Dorrell is my favourite writer. 17. Stephan Macleod is a way better Ad Manager than Janice Muir.

18. Most of the student newspapers we receive go directly into the garbage, after they are sufficiently mocked that is: so in that sense we are just like you.

19. I will miss my friends here. Reading the paper in the snowy wind on Prince Street on my way home for sleep. Sherri.

20. I am one of the ten luckiest peo- ple in the world (not counting peo- ples who win Big Money).

21. Megan Dorrell wrote the two uncredited works in The Poetry Spectacular. Sorry about that.

22. One of my favorite things ever to appear in this newspaper is in this current and last issue of the year. It is called Mole People or something to that effect and it begins on page 14. Jeff wrote it. Freak show. It proves once and for all, that we could have made agent. magazine in our basement better than it will be made next year by the way, but that is total- ly off topic. Read the Mole People. Now.

23. The graphics department is the coolest place on campus. Very wise. 24. My cat, Franny, gets weird build- up around her eyes that I have to knock out with my thumb.

25. I know, exactly, the person who places the various “Trash the Cadre” signs in Main Building. I have seen her. I feel sorry for her, and her name is:

26. Redemption,

27. Is hard to come by in here, but who the fuck needs redemption or news or anything by the book if you can all sit around, make each other laugh. Write shit on the walls. Put people on.

28. The Faction is moving into The Surveyor, the Holland College stu-

| dent newspaper. Let me explain The

Faction to you lay-people: The disc

with the The Faction material on it

was always left for me at a monas- tary outside of Souris. I had to smoke an entire cigarette before leaving. That was the rule. : 29. One day the disc wasn’t there. I thought I saw some midgets in the bushes.

30. But there was no noise.

31. Then that bastard Adam Gallant said it was me who shut the thing

~ down. Choked off its funding. The

crazys all came out.

32. Well let me tell you something folks I tried to get The Faction back. It was the only thing anyone liked. Fact and Opinion.

33. But no. There were no clues.

34. Until I received a call late last night informing me that The Surveyor, the red-headed step armpit of the PEI student newspaper rac- quet, had acquired the services of Frank, Adam, Stephan, Micky and the others in a hostile bid to steal some precious ad dollars.

35. I didn’t know what to think either.

36. If you were to play the song “Vancouver Divorce” from the album Coke Machine Glow by Gordon Downie, over and over, until the words are a mantra more than a chorus you would know how I feel. Right Now.

37. I would like to thank the follow- ing people: Matthew Mackay, David Weale, Richard Lemm, Brent MacLaine, Lesley-Anne Bourne, Kristen Stavert, Matthew Hogan, Leo Cheverie, Cara Hedefine, Heather Love, Sarah Murphy, Jeff Coll, Stephan MacLeod, Ryan O’Connor, Mare Macdonald, James Scheib, Matthew Dorrell, Adam Gauthier, Jessica Beebe, Natalie Pendergast, Shawn Sears, Jo Campbell, Mike Lecky, Paul Felton, John Sutton, and Sherri MacKenzie.

Kent J. Bruyneel Editor-In-Chief The Cadre

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