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THE SUN, Thursdayi;pctober 22, 1981, page 5

,V\ n ‘ \

the thin man. " x,

\ By Tom G. Killorn Why would-“a... . *

LWAS leafingthrough a splendid edition of . "people" magazine theother day when. my shallow thinking was disturbed by an event one can only 'I describe as hideous. ‘Whilereading, I came upon an ad with the key n'essage," Why would a mhdel like Nancy Toner use a feminine napkin?" Do I really care how Nancy 'Ibner sets her table for that special dinner party? I am fed up with people like Nancy Toner telling me what' to do. '

Overthepast fiveyearsIhaven'adea umber of concessions towards the equality of the sexes. I'll put up with blow dryers, pastel sport shirts, and "Jouan Sports Scent For Men", ' but I'll be danned if I'm going to start using faninine napkins.

When I have the-boys over for poker and a few beers I'm going to use nadzo napkins whether Miss Toner likes it or not. The napkins I use will have John Deere synbols plastered all over ‘ them

_ 0

All this talk about how to entertain properly has got me very upset. My friends tell me that I seem to be a lot nore irritable lately. They say I seem to be getting sick a lot more than Iusedto. Mastofthemreassuremethat - I'm only going through a phase and it will pass. . I surely hope so. . ~

T.G.‘K. We a" ‘ ' if V “ Ta. All rights .~. ’ '~ ~ 1981 a ' i, ,

"Rumor Hath ‘It... ’

" — that Dr. Edgar Mawonald had to be treated for a severe case of dish pan hands following the

“outdoor ed. weekend. ’ ~ ‘ '

- that the Panther lounge was invaded by a group of education shadents last Friday night. -

- that the Don on 4th floor Bernadine is looking for It the night Of the'Oo-ed.

- ‘4 t there is a» yearbook workshop this Saturday at 9:00 a.m. ‘ * ' ’ « '

-- that Kay at Seoirity has a pet nouSe. Right Kay? ‘— that the girls fron 301' Blanchard get ' ' claustrophobia When penny-jawed in their room but certainly enjoy making a general mess.

i- that theg4th floor Don had it but lost it again.

%- that Expos are nunber one! . ' 7 <- that if the SUNwants to do a full page spread

on Soccer team, then they better take their

cameras to the van. ~

- that G. isJ‘gOing to get what she is looking for.

- that the silent revolution has been completed.

'* that Websterfinally gave an interesting class.

- that a certain Prez is‘not acting. '

.- that the Freshman pub was a smash.

- that the Barn robbery was an inside job. Watch out Terry. ‘ ' -that CIMN is in forabig change.~_

‘- that a certain vice-pr'é'i-and Secretary are in

‘for a higher position. Watch out Robyn.

- that the window‘was already cracked.

- thatTwinkle Toes doesn't'have bad fingers either..

-‘ that engineers are led by none other than Anus Orifice. V — i

- that lady day, was a smash.

that the engineer ' vitamin E session will be "cancelled this week. (hope you can keep it up boys! ! I) . -

7 ‘The ‘ Pro fessor’s Diary

anday: My scheme to poison Professor X received added impetus today. He wandered into my office as usual with out knocking, and found HE relieving the tedium between classes with Robertson Davies' latest book. "Ah yes," he said, "Of course I don't know Rob Davies that well —— whenever I'm in Toronto we have a drink together, that's all really , I wouldn't say

I we're close, but I was surprisedwhen I read that novel how many sides of him I didn't lmow...," ‘ and on and on and on.

Tuesday: The MacDonald girl came to ny office today, by appointment. She was in a pretty sort of confusion, and she said she was having trouble with the next assignenent. She wanted totalkaboutsoreoftheanswers. After she had shut the door, she pulled up a chair beside mine and we worked on the difficult questions together. The poor dear needed quite a bit of masterly help.

Wednesday: I started making definite plans for

my upcoming sabbatical today. In rapid

succession I fired off inquirinc letters to the Universities of Hawaii, Tahiti, the Canary

Islands, and Acapulco. I also put a large

scale map of the Greek Islands on my wall and studied it a good while. I could perhaps work

up some sort of scholarly monograph on the effects of solar radiationon exposed flesh.

Thursday: Long meeting of the Parking Committee yesterday evening -— alnost three hours. Chairingthis committee is certainly time-consuming, but it should count heavily for my pronotion. Today the sticking point was,

as it were, the sticking point, Should UPEI parking permits for 1982-83 be displayed on» the left hand side of the parked car as at present, or switched to the right? The usual tiresome faction arose, with a certain Political Science Professor arguing left, and obstinate Business student holding right, and the representation frcm Senate coming down four-jsquare for yearly vacillation.

Friday: Today, towards the end of my Freshmen lecture, I started to tell the students something about the relevant holdings in the library.

(Some of the students have actually found the library, I gather.) However, my first sentence , on the subject -—— intended to be quite arresting—- was unfortunate: "Yesterday, heavily covered

with dust," I began, "I found an interesting d0cument in the library." The smart—ass who lOunges in the back row reading the SUN,-Gallant, his name is —— imnediately lifted his head to

say, "Please, sir” that's a dangling participle, isn't it sir? Did you mean you were heavily covered with dust, sir, or the document was?

What did you mean, sir?" This query rather put me off my stride._ V Not only was it a non sequitur, but I didn't know the answer. I made some @5123.“ reference to the universal need for good grammar and dismissed the class early.'~