go down the drain because of the way their hair smelled! Once again I was in search of the unusual, the unique. Then I found Freeman’s Apple Shampoo. It actually smelled edible. I was in midst of tucking the container in my purse when I realized how foolish I was acting. What was I thinking? I couldn’t shampoo my hair without conditioning it ’ too! The next thing worse that having smelly hair was having dry hair! As soon as I began to try to fit the conditioner into my purse, I knew I had a problem. My purse simply wasn’t large enough to accommadate all the items I had collected. Then, it was as though a lightbulb flashed in my head. I glanced up to see if anyone was_ watching. Fortunately, no-one was. I placed the container of conditioner in between sock and pantleg. As long as I didn’t engage in any marathons on the way out of the mall, I would pass undetected. I decided that I had better leave the store while my luck was still

holding.

As I approached the cashier, she looked up at me. My heart started to pound and I could feel my blood rushing through my body. I couldn’t think; my brain was paralyzed with fear. I tried to swallow but I couldn’t, for my heart was lodged in my throat!

When I reached the cashied, I managed to slowly unclench my fist and withdraw the pachage of Big Red gum I had picked up along the way. As I placed the gum on the counter, I envisioned all the horrible things that could and would happen to me if 1 was caught. Then the most terrifying thought occurred to me. Suppose they take away my apples shampoo and conditioner? Suddenly, I realized that she was staring at me. Were my worst fears about to become reality? I blinked and looked over at the cash register. "Money," I thought, "she wants money for the gum." I gave her the 75 cents and she gave me the gum. I walked out of the store so tense that my body would have made an excellent bow for an arrow!

I arrived home safely. The first thing I wanted to do was take a shower as I was dying to try my new apple shampoo and conditioner. After my shower, I applied my new make-up. For the finishing touch,

I dabbed on my new Polo cologne. I looked at myself in the mirror. "What a great social life you’re going to have this year," I said to my

reflection. ‘ :

The doorbell rang. I practically floated down the stairs. I felt like a princess. I didn’t have a care in the waorld. I threw open the door and found myself staring into the faces of two RCMP officers.

Apparently, Shoppers Drug Mart had a hidden survellance camera built into the numerous nooks and crannies located around the store. The salesperson reviewed the tape each evening and my entire escapade was on film. They read me my rights as they led me away. I was confident of one thing. I was sure to have the best smeeling hair in

Sleepy Hollow!

- P.B.

Drowning _Gone to the ocean In a wave and a bottle. Dead to the bottom.

- Derry

The UPEI X-Press

October 18, 1990

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