Dec. 14. 2007.

And now for another exhilerating edition of:

Fact and Opinion

By Ryan Miller

FACT: The phrase "rule of thumb" comes from an Old English law that stated a man could not legally beat his wife with any object wider than his thumb.

OPINION: This law was probably overturned quickly with the advent of golf clubs and tire irons.

FACT: Polar bear fur is not actually white, but is clear. OPINION: Shouldn't they be invisible? Or shouldn't we at least be able to see their guts?

FACT: 2 out of 3 adults in the United States have haemorrhoids. OPINION: If you don't believe me, go ahead and count.

FACT: When Britney Spears books into hotels she uses the name 'Allota Warmheart' so that nobody will recognize her.

OPINION: When that failed, she seemed to resort to shaving her head and getting fatter.

FACT: The first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in WW killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo. OPINION: First things first, boys: get the elephants.

FACT: A ‘face-off in hockey was originally called a 'puck-off. OPINION: A ‘pace-off' was originally called - well, you get the idea.

FACT: Brad Pitt has been smoking since the sixth grade. OPINION: And look where it got him. Let that be a lesson to all of you.

FACT: Each year, approximately 250,000 American husbands are physi- cally attacked and beaten by their wives. OPINION: Perhaps they are still angry about the "rule of thumb."

FACT: The best recorded distance for projectile vomiting is 27 feet. OPINION: I'm not sure if this should qualify as "best" or "worst."

FACT: 90 per cent of us lie regularly. OPINION: Actually, it's 91 per cent..

FACT: In high school, Robin Williams was voted 'Least Likely to Succeed.’ OPINION: Right on the money.

FACT: The octopus's testicles are located in its head. OPINION: Funny, I have had women accuse me of having the same condition.

And just you thought exams gave you enough questions. Here comes:

Wrong

Classes are over!! Always a sweet time of the year, unless of course you plan on doing well on exams. If that is the case see you in the library or the chapel (it’s a lot quieter there) for some hardcore studying, whatever that means. Good luck!

1. Exams are good because: a. once they’re over, they’re over. b. multiple choice is my middle name. c. I believe in challenging. d. I know how to BS.

2. Exams are bad because: a. you can fail. b. the pressure is intense. c. I don’t own any of the books. d. I have failed this course more than once.

3. The best party to get mashed at is: a. Halloween b. New Year’s Eve : c. St Patrick’s Day (even if you are not Irish) d. Last Exam night, because you can drink until you forget everything and it doesn’t matter

4. If | was a prof my exam would be: a. open book. b. have one question. “Why?” All answers would be accepted. c. a connect the dots picture of Santa. d. marked on time, the first person done would get 100 per cent.

5. If I was to challenge a course it would be: A. Intro to Pysch b. Intro to Sociology,

answer

bb. true story: my friend did this once without even looking at the book and walked out with a 90 per cent. c. Intro to University, how could you fail this. d. Any course from the Department of Arts.

6. Questions you will never hear at Wednesday Night Trivia: a. How old is Matt Stewart? b.Who does the voice for Hugs and Tugs? c. Anything involving math. d. What can you do with an Arts degree?

7. My last class this term was sweet because a. we had presentations, aka “show and tell.” b. someone brought food. c. we went to a bar afterwards and the prof bought a round. d. it’s finally over.

8. Wrong Answer is terrible because: a. there are no pictures. b. they are outdated. c. the answer is never “c.” d. I cannot read.

9. You know Christmas is coming when: a. Swiss Chalet has there festive special. b. Christmas lights are up. c. you feel the urge to shop for no real reason. d. you look at a calendar.

10. On my Christmas wish list is a: a. New Car. b. trip to Cuba. c. new kitten. d.Bachelor of Science with Honours in both Biology and Chemistry.