SEPTEMBER 27, 2005

THE CADRE @ 5

OPINION & COMMENTARY

Bathroom Review: Women’s Point of View

Inez Fitzpatrick Contributor

Last year two very creative writers for The Cadre took up the interesting task of examining several male washrooms around campus. Some of the bathrooms seemed rather gross, or odd...odd being the best word to describe the normal state of affairs at UPEI.

This year, I am proposing a newer extended approach to Kimberley Johnston’s version Examining Female Washrooms. I’ve never really had much experience with male washrooms, except for this one time, but I can propose to you right now that us women may look clean, but you wouldn’t know it from our bathrooms.

Even I dread the women’s bathroom. The sight of used sanitary napkins and tampons sticking to the toilet bowl and other random areas is not even the worst of it. I know what you are thinking girls, “The garbage outside the stall makes it embarrassing to put it in the trash, I might get seen.” True, but its better than having us investigators send it off to the Science lab to trace DNA! Yes, we really do that - just so you first years know!

I decided to start my examination of the girl’s washroom outside The Wave. Not too bad looking, the janitor must have just cleaned it up again. What really annoyed me, however, were the posters advertising yeast infections with a girl turning into a monster. “Don’t feel like a freak because you have a yeast infection...” Hello! I feel like a freak

just having to look at this.

Walking to the next stall was worse. The same poster, only a different picture and a baby pink background. Oh how I feel pretty! Then while I was washing my hands, I noticed another poster next to the mirror. Suddenly the zit I barely noticed this morning was sticking out like the monster’s green nose. Seriously, you want us to feel beautiful by promoting yeast infections as a curse. Smart one!

So yes, women’s washrooms are just as abnormal as the men’s are. Next week. ..Main building...

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... And Now For Something Completely Different: The Rants of a University Student

Ryan Gallant Contibutor

An era came to an end on September 25" when Subway Restaurants finished phasing out their stamp coupons. Now, instead of stamps, in return for enduring the long line, paying for obscenely expensive subs and reeking of Subway for the rest of the day you get...nothing. No free cookies on Friday, no super value meal on Wednesday. Personally, I’ve been pissed at Subway since they switched from Pepsi to Coke, but really; this is ridiculous. Eat Fresh? Kiss my ass Jared.

Relief came on international front last week as Canada and Denmark agreed to sit down and talk about who possesses sovereignty over Hans Island in the Arctic. Tempers had been rising in both countries since Canada’s Defence Minister Bill Graham landed on the disputed island in July with Canadian Forces troops to plant a Canadian flag. In retaliation the Danes sent a warship to sail around the island for awhile and to erect a Danish flag on the island. “We put one up before but it blew down.” was their reasoning. World leaders were shocked and the US Military reportedly went to DEFCON 5 when they heard that the great military powers of Canada and Denmark were having a dispute, especially after hearing that at least two Canadian submarines were almost operational. ““Thank God that’s over.” Was reportedly the reaction of Saddam Hussein from his jail cell upon hearing the news. Hans Island, by the way, is 1.3 square kilometres and is entirely uninhabited. Oh yeah. And the North

Koreans are giving up their nuclear weapons program. Riiight.

Elections were held for the German Bundestag last Sunday, and no one seems to know who won. Both leading parties were considerably shy of the 307 needed for a majority. Negotiations have been on-going with other parties in attempts of establishing some sort of governing coalition, but the two major party leaders have going postal on each other all week, everyone refuses to even talk to the Left Party (successor of the old East German Communists), and one of the coalitions has been dubbed “The Jamaican Coalition.” Oh those crazy Germans. They’re not that good at this democracy stuff. Or at taking over the world.

Residents of Newark, New Jersey became mildly concerned last week when it was reported that three mice infected with the Bubonic Plague had gone missing from a University of Medicine and Dentistry laboratory, prompting University Officials to spring into action and do...absolutely nothing. According to them the mice posed a “scant” threat to the general public and besides, since they had already been missing for about two weeks, they were “probably already dead anyway.” Now, I have a great respect for the research community, don’t get me wrong. But in my opinion, it’s pretty stupid to handle test subjects so haphazardly that they go missing for two weeks without you noticing, especially when these subjects happen to be