Survival Tips for Living with a Stranger

Laundry: Theold faithful sniff-and-wash test: if it smells really, really bad - - wash it; if you can stomach the stench -- wear it; if it is discoloured -- you'll set a new trend. Having to seperate whites and colours is just a myth, there's nothing wrong with clothes that are varying shades of grey and pink.

The Barn: too bad, you have to be 19. Or creative.

RA's: They really don't care about your petty prob- lems so grow up!!

Elections: A good opportunity to fully appreci- ate your own apathy. (Re- member how to do the eeni- meenie-minie-moe thing? Works every time.)

Upper Classmen:

They will treat you like the dirt they walk on, but that's okay, 'cause if you live through this year it'll make you big enough and strong enough to do the very same next year.

Roommates: Getting Along: Remember when your mother told you to be nice to strangers and make sure you treat them like you wanted to be treated? She lied! This is a dog-eat-dog world: what's yours is yours and what's your roommates’ is yours too. Don't bother trying to like each other: you'll be ripping each other's eyes out with a rusty fork by the end of the year -- if you're lucky.

Toiletries: Always pick the hamburger out of your roommate's toothbrush after you've used it. Soap, sham- poo and deoderant are fair game, Condoms...well, we'll get to that.

Music: Natural law dictates that you will not have similar tastes. If your roommate likes Stompin’ Tom and you like Nirvana have a duel -- it'll be like a game.

Meeting your future mate: It's late, you come back from the drinking establishment of your choice, the roomate is fast asleep -- be gentle, be kind -- boot his/ her sorry ass out of there. There will be plenty of time for explanations later. Etiquette to waking up to squeaky noises and soft moaning: just lay there -- don't be afraid, it's natural,

just try coughing and fluffing your blankets. A lot.

Wardrobe: Everything is fair game, especially underwear.

Snoring: The follow- ing will usually do the trick: pillow over the face for 3-4 minutes (maximum pres- sure); large, blunt objects thrown at full force; scream at the top of your lungs; fill the mouth with shaving cream; be creative -- variety is the spice of life.

Registration: It's really rather simple: you get up at an obscence hour, you wait in line for the majority of the day, you sweat, bleed and ooze things you never knew you had in you -- and what do you get for it? Not one class you really wanted and an elective in Norwegian - candlemaking Mondays at 8:30 AM.

Originally printed in The Xaverian

The Panther Prints September 10, 1996

London Theatre Tour

Dr. Shannon Murray will arrange a trip to London, England for the University February break. Included in the package will be

-return airfare from Charlottetown to London

-seven nights’ accommodation (breakfast inc.) in a central hotel (probably near Russell Square)

-transportation to and from the London Airport

-a seven day London Transport pass (good for travel on bus or tube)

-two theatre tickets

The inclusive price is, at the moment, $1452, but we expect that to go down as we get closer to the deadline. Students, Faculty, community members: all travellers are welcome.

For more information, talk to Dr. Murray in Main 138: 566-0404 or email smurray@upei.ca. And remember, “when a man is tired of London, he’s tired of life."

ONO

STUDENT HEALTH PLAN

The Student Health Plan is designed to supplement existing provincial medicare. For more information

regarding benefits and claims procedures, contact the Student Union Office, Ist floor of the Barn, 566-0530, 9:00am - 4:00pm, Monday through Friday.

If you have other coverage, you may apply to opt out of the Student Health

% Plan. You must bring with you to the

SU office on Wednesday, Thursday, or Fridays ONLY, @) proof of existing

! : g g

coverage, (b) proof of full time UPEI registration. THE DEADLINE TO OPT OUT IS FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 27, 1996

=O =

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