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THE DAILY EXAMIVER, CHARLOTTETOWN, JANUARY 6,

1893

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PRISE AND PALL OF THE MUSTACHE

KEKE BURDETTE.

4) ARAPAPPRADADAT AT RRBARSAT awe

AV itii ition

nY ROBERT J.

Zssnnnnanaganaspnasyaras Ans PRAMDAAARADARAARDRAAR IAN:

We open our eyes in this living world around us, in a wonder land, peopled with dreams, and haunted with wonder- ful shapes: and every day dawns upon us ina medley of new marvels. We are awakened from these dreams by contact

with hard, stubborn facts, not rudely and harshly, but gradually and tenderly. Se much that is bright and beautiful and full of romance and wonder, passes away with the earlier years of life, that by the time we are able to earn our first

our hands only the saves of childhood’s loving superstitions.

inconoclastic hand tears from the: lofty our loving fancy

in dd kk

salary we hold crumpled, wither simple creeds and Year after year, the of earnest, real life, pedestals upon which had enshrined them, the gods of gold that crumble into worthless clay at our feet. We live to lose faith at last, in ‘‘Puss in Boots’*; we cease to weep over the sad tragedy of ‘‘Cock Robin’’; there a time when we can read ‘Ara bian Nights’’ and then go to bed without a tremor; with one heart-breaking pang at last we give up darling ‘Jack the «dant Killer.’’ and acknowledge him to be the frand he stands confessed; it is not long after that we learn tolook upon William ‘Yell as a national myth, and then we come to know, in spite of all that orthodox theology has taught us_ to the contrary, that Adam was not the first man—that raised a mustache. Adam was too old—whea he was born—to care very much about what our grander and more gradually developed civilization considers the crowning facial ornament. And after bis natural human idleness got him into perfectly natural human trouble he was kept too busy. raising something to put under his lip, to think much about what grew above it. If Adam wore a mustache he never raised it. It raised its itself. It devolved itself out of its own inner consciousness, like a primordial germ. It grew, like the weeds on his farm, in spite of him, and to torment him. For Adam had hardly got his farm reduced to a kind of turbu- lent, weed producing, granger fighting, regular order of things—had scarcely settled down to the quiet, happy, care- free, independent life of a jocund farmer, with nothing under the canopy to molest or make him afraid, with everything on the plantation going soothly and Jovelily, with a little rust in the oats; army worm in the corn; Colorado beetles swarming up and down the potato patch; «cut worms leying waste the cucumbers; cureulio in the plums and borers in the apple trees; a new kind of bug that he didn’t know the name of desolating the wheat fields; dry weather burning up the wheat, wet weather blighting the corn; too cold for the melons, too aread- fully hot for the strawberries; chickens dying from the pip; hogs being gathered to their fathers with cholera; sheep fad- ing away with a complication of things that no man could remember; horses getting along as well as could be expect- eG, with # little spavin, ringbone, wolf teeth, distemper. heaves, blind staggers, collar chafes, saddle galls, colic now and then, founder occasionally, epizootic when there was nothing else; cattle go- ing wild with the horn ail; moth in the bee hives; snakes in the milk house; moles in the kitchen garden—Adam had just about got through breaking wild land with a crooked stick, and settled down comfortably, when the sound of the boy was heard in the land.

Did is ever occur to you that Adam was probably the most troubled and worried man that ever lived? We have always pictured Adam as 4A care-worn

comes

who would sign fifty times a day, and sit aown on a log and run his irresolute fingers through his hair whiie he won- dered what under the canopy he was go- ing to do with those boys, and whatever was going to become of them. thought too, that as often as our esteemed parent asked himself this conundrum, he gave it up. They must have been a source of constant trouble and mystification to

him. For you see they were the first

We have |

boys that humanity ever bad any experi- |

ence with. And there was no one else in the neighborhood whu had any boy, with whom Adam, in his merments of perplex ity, could consult. There wasn’t a boy in the country with whom Adam’s boys were on speaking terms, and with whom they could ro and fight. Adam, you see, labered under the most distressing disadvantages that ever opposed a mar- ried man and the father of a family. He had never been a boy himself, and what could he know about boy nature or boy troubles and p) His perplex-

“isnres ?

ity began at an early date. Imagine, if you can, the celerity with which he kicked off the leaves, and paced up and down in the moonlight the first time little Cain made the welkin Ting when he had the colic. How should Adam know what sailed him’? He uldn’t tell

Eve that she had been daihten the baby full of pins. He didn’t even know enough to turn the vociferons infant over on bis face and jolt him into serenity. If the

fence corners on his farm had been over- |

grown with catnip, never an idea would Acam have had what todo with it. It is probable that after he got down on his knees and felt for thorns and snakes or rats in the bed, and thoroughly examined Cain for bites or seratches, he passed him over to Eve with the usual remark, “There, take hirm and hash him up, for heaven's sake,’ and then went otf and fat down under a distant tree with his lingers in his ears, and perplexity in his brain. And young Cain just split the night with the most hideous howls the little world had ever listened to. It must have stirred the animals up to a degree that no menagerie has ever since at- tained. There was ga sleep in the vicinity of Eden that nighs tor anybody, baby, beast or Adam. It is more than probable that the weeds got a long start of Adam the next day, while he lay around in

Shady plate, and slent jn troubled dozes,

. , abundamce looking man; « puzzled looking granger | siten

gisturivoc, per.*')s, DY awiul visions ‘I possible twins and more colic. When the other boy came along, the boys got old enough to bed by themselves, they had no” pillows to fight with, and it is a meral impossi bility for two brothers to go to bed with- out a fracas. What comfort could two boys get out of pelting each other with fragments of moss or bundles of brush. What dismal views of future humanity Adam must have received from the glimpses of original sin which began to develop itself in his boys. How he must have wondered what put into their

and

aeD ina

heads the thousand and one questions h which they plied their parents day after day. We wonder what he thought when they first began to string buckeyes on the cat's tail. And when night came, there was no hired girl to keep the boys quiet by telling them ghost stories, and Adam didn’t know even so much as an anecdote,

Cain, when he made was the first and only young world.

wit

his appearance, boy in the fair

on his inexperienced parents, who had never in their lives seen a_ boy until they saw Cain. And there wasn’t an

educational help in the market, wasn't an alphabet block in the country, not even an illustrated handkerchief. There were no other boys in the repub- lic, to teach young Cain

| plerygian;

All his education depended |

There |

to lie, and |

swear, and smoke, and drink, fight, and | steal and thus develop the boy’s dormant | statesmanship and prepare him for the |

sterner political duties of his maturer years. There wasn'ta pocket knife in the universe that he could borrow—and lose, and when he wanted to cut his finger, as all boys must do, then, he had to cut it with a clam shell.

Thére WeFe nd édlintry relations upon whom little Cain could be inflicted for two or three weeks at a time, when his wearied parents wanted a little rest. There was nothing for him to play with. Adam couldn’t show him how to make a kite. He had a much better idea of angel’s wings than he had of a kite. If little Cain had simple bit of mechanism as a shinny club, Adam would have gone ous into the depths of the primeval forest and wept in sheer morticflation and helpless, confessed ignorance. I don’t wonder that Cain turned out bad. I always said he would. For his entire education denend- ed upon a most ignorant man, a man in the very palmiest days of his ignorance, who couldn’t have known less if he had tried all his life on a high salary and had a man to help him. And the boy’s education had to be conducted entirely upon tne catechetical system; only, in this instance, the boy pupil asked the questions and parent teachers, heaven help them, tried to answer them. They had to answer them. For they could not take refuge from the steady stream of questions that poured in upon them day after day, by interpolating a fairy story, as you do when your boy asks questions about something of which you never heard. For how eould Adam begin, “Once upon a time,’’ when with one auick, incisive question, Cain would pin him right back against the dead wall of creation, -nad make him either specify exactly what time, or acknowledge the fraud. How could Eve tell him about ‘Jack and the bean stalk.’’ when Cain, fairly crazy for some one to play with, knew perfectly well there was not, and never hag been, another boy on the plantation? As day by day Cain brought home things in his hands about which to ask questions that mo mortal could answer, how erateful his bewildered parents must have been that he had no pockets in which to transport his coilec- tions. For many generations came into the fair young world, get into no end of trouble, and died out of it, before a boy’s pocket solved the problem how to make the thing contained seven times greater than the container. The only thing that saved Adam and Eve frem interrogational insanity was the paucity of language. If little Cain had possessed the verbal of the language in which are to-day talked to death, his father’s bald head would have gone down in shining flight to the ends of the earth to escape him, Jeaving Eve to look after the stock, save the crop, and raise her boy as best she conld. Which would have been 6,000 years ago, as to-day, just like a man.

Because, it was no off hand, albsent- minded work answering questions about things in those spacious old days, when there was crowds of room, and everything grew by the acre. When a placid, but exceedingly unanimous looking animal went by, producing the general effect of an eclipse, and Cain would shout, “Oh, lookee, pa What’s that?’’ the pati- ent Adam, trying to saw enough kitchen wood to fast over Sunday, with a piece of flint, would have to pause and gather up words enough to say:—

‘That, my son? That is only a masto- don gigantens; he has a bad look, but a Christian temper.’

And then, presently :—

“Oh, pop! pop! What’s that over von?’’

now and |

even asked for such a |

—

ur Se aette, um Weld reply, | “it's only a ‘paleotherium, mammalia pachydermat *?

‘Oh, yes, theliocomeafterus. Oh,

%?

lookee, luokee at this ’un!

‘*Where, Cainny? Oh, that in the mud? That’s only an acephala lamelli branch- iata. Lt won't bite you, but you mustn't eat it. It’s poison as politics.”’

‘*‘Whee! See there! see, see, see! What's him?

“Oh, that: keep out of his way; your mother.’’

‘*Oh, yes; a plenosserus. that tellow, poppy ?”’

“That's a silurus go near him, for he of a Georgia mule.’’

“Oh, yas: a slapterus. that little one?’’

**Oh, it’s nothing but an aristolochi rid. Where did you get it? There now, quit throwing stones at that acantha- do youn want to be kicked? Keep away from the nothodenatrichoma- noides. My Eve! where did we get that anonaceo-hydrocharideo-nymph- aeoid? Do you never look after him at all? Here, you Cain, get right down from there, and chase that megalosarius out of the melon patch, or I'l set the monopleuro branchian on you.”’

Just think of it, Christian man with a family to support, with last year’s stock on your shelves, and a draft as long as a clothes-line to pay to-morruw! Vhink of it, woman, with all a woman’s love and constancy, and a mother’s sym- pathetic nature, with three meals a day 365 times a year to think of,and the flies to chase cnt of the sitting-room; think if your cherub boy was the only boy in the wide, wide world, and all hia ques- tions which now radiate in a thousand tiirecticns among other boys, who tel! him lies and help him to cut his eye teeth, were focused upon you! Adam had only one consolation that has been denied his more remote descendants. His boy never belonged to a baseball club, and neyer teased his father from the first of November till the last of March for a pair of skates.

Well, you have no time to pity Adam. You have your own boy to look after. Or, your neighbor has a boy, whom yot ean look after much more closely than his mother does, and much more to your own satisfaction than to the boy’s comfort, Your boy ix, as Adams boy was, an animal that asks questions. If there is any truth in thre old theory of the transmigration of gouls,

Looks like a plesiosaurus; he has a jaw like

And what’s

malaplerus. Don’t has the disposition

And what's

stars,

when a boy died he would pass into an interrogation point and he’d stay there. He'd never get out of it; for he never gets through asking questions. The older he grows the more he asks, and the more perplexing the questions are, and the more unreasonable he is about want- ing them answered it suit himself. Why, the oldest boy I ever knew—he was fifty- seven years oll and I went te school to him-—could and did ask the longest, hardest, crookedest questions, that no fellow, who used to trade off aff his books for a pair of skates and a knife with a corkscrew in it, could answer. And when his questions were not answered to suit him, it was his custom—a eystonmi more honored in the breeches, we used to think, than in the observance—to take up a long siender but exceedingly tena- cioms red. which Jay ever near the big dictionary, and smite with. it the boy whose naturally derived Ad@amic ignor- ance was made manifest. Ah me, if the boy could only do as he is done by, and feruJe the man or woman, who fails to remy to his inquiries, as he is himseif corrected for similar shortcomings, what «a vale of tears, what a_ literally howling wilderness he conld and would make of this srorid.

Your boy, asking to-day pretty much the same questions, with heaven knows how many additiona:i ones, that Adam's boy did. is told, every time he asks one that you don’t know any thine abouf, just as Adam told Cain fifty timesa day, that Re will know all ahent’ it shen he isa man. So from the days of Cain dows fo the present wickeder generation of boys, the bor ever looks forward to

the time when he will hea wan and

knew everything. That pappy, far away, ombiscient, uvattiinable manhood, which pever comes io your boy; whicu wonid never come to him if he lived a thousand years; manhood, that like boy- hood, ever looks furward from day te day to the morrow: scill pecriug into the future for brighter light and broader knowledge; day after day, as its world

opens before it, stumbling upon ever new and aosolved mysteries; manhood, whose wisdom is folly and whose light is often darkness, and whose knowledge is self:sh- ness: manhood, that so often looks over its shoulder and glanees back toward boyhood, when its knowledge was at least always equal to its day; manhood, that after groping for years through tangled labyrinths of failing human thevries and tottering human wisdom, at last only rises to sublimity of child- grandeur of boy- 4

bood, only reaches the noaod aud accents the grandest. eternal |

SES MEME SE MESSE Me SY Mee Mee MMe MMe MS Ne “aN US AP AP AE UP AP AS AE EM SES ie) ie SEINE SES SS Yh, 2 iN y ar ae the Verdict se a ov. = se =! Ye a HAS BEEN GIVEN *s aS 5e a nd enstained nnenimonsly by the a sw = «court of Appeals, that aS 2. >= a = 7 THC... ba a D4 % aie s% KP @ MM AN as 84 s% an (2 6 (REGISTERED 2 » & : “aS has no equal for heat giving ano 3% economy in fuel. S$ 3” s"% “as eager ke 2 CARRIER LAINE& CO, 3% 4 Goal Gas or, AS Ny Levis, Que. “i | Lost Space. ac ae R,B. Norton & Co., Ltd, Char-3¢ s% ARRILAJAING lottetown n, Sole ‘Agents. oe a TEvis, Que. =~ ~ 93 ste be Mee Mo MY Me Me Mee MNES SES! Lees y tee SATAN aN ae ae Ny “a isi em ie ie aK SEZ ESee eS est a a>

i

! breadth and

' and poison grapes from good ones,

, whyness of it now. / to be well "—S¢. Louis Globe-Democrat.

truth of the universe, trutiis that it“dces

| hot comprehend, truths that it cannot

by searching find out, accepting and believing them with the simple, unques- tioning faith of childhood in Truth itself.

And now, your boy, not entirely ceas- ing to ask questions, begins to answer them, until you stand amazei at the depth of his knowledge. He asks questions and gets answers of teachers that you and the school board know not of. Day by day, great unprint- ed books, upon the broad pages of which the hand of nature has traced characters that only a boy can read, are spread out before him, He knows now where the first snowdrop lifts its tiny head, a pearl on the bosom of the barren earth, in the spring; he knows where the last indian pink lingers, a flame in the brown and rustling words in the autumn days. His pockets are cabinets, from which he drags curious fossils that he does not know the names of: mcenstrous and hide- ous beetles and bugs and things that you never saw before, and for which he has appropriate names of his own. He knows where there are three orioles’ nests, and £0 far back as you can remember you never saw an orioles’ nest in your life, He can tell you how to distinguish the good mushroom from the poisonous ones, and how he ever found out, except by eating both kinds, is a mystery to his mother. Every root, bud, leaf, berry or bark, that will make any bitter, horrible, semi-poi- sonous tea, reputed to have marvelous medicinal virtues, he knows where to find, and in the season he does find, and brings home, and all but sends the entire family to the cemetery by making prac- tical tests of, his teng.

( © be Continued.) siaicaalacittaapes ltippbiiasidtialbine

Seems as if consumptiun alwsys picks out the brightest and best. Fully one- sixth of all the deaths that occur in the world are caused by consump:ion. Many things were once considered impossible. It would Le strange if medica) science did not make some progress. The telegraph and telephone, the phonograph, the electric light—all were once impossible, and once it was impossible to cure consumption. That was before the time of Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery. Taken accord- ing to directions, the standard remedy will cure 98 per cent. of all cases of consump- tion. Consumption is caused and fostered by impurity in the blood. It is cured by purity and richness in the blood—eurely, certainly cured by the “Medical Diecuvery’’ It builds up solid healthy flesh and vigor ous strength.

Dr. Pierce’s Common Sense Medic+| Adviser, a 1008 pape medical work, pro- fusely illustrated, will be sent free on re- ceipt ot 3l one-cent stamps to cover post- age only. Addrers, World’s Dispensary Medical Ase ciation, Buffalo, N. Y.

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hot for free advice. MARION & MA- 2 LION, Experts, Temple Building, Montreal.

Se ereceeneg gE emcnacemeemanerten. An Old Womnun’s Cure For Dyepepsia. “The most remarkable thing that has

ever occurred to me in my earthly ca- reer,” said Eugene McKelsey, ‘‘occurred gone years ago when I was afflicted with dyspepsia. I had a bad case, I assure you. Oh, I was all broke up. Food was discusting. I had no appetite, and I just walked around looking for some place to lay down and die. Some time passed, and Igrew worse. I saw myself # physical wreck, and try as I mightl simply couldn't revive appetite nor am- bition. Finally I ran iztoan old woman, & kind ef witch I guess—old women «are elvrays witches when they dress in faded garments and predict to youn—who said

that davould get well if I should go to a

certete farm and three times a day cast

au ear of corn to a white pig and ther

m te ite I do not believe in such rites: : wt, dear me, I waa so sick that I

WS enna to try anything.

“Sol houghta white pig, secureda pen for it witlin the mentioned farm limits, and daily made three journeys with a ear of corn that | threw in and then watched the pigeat. Well, do you know the sound of that pig crunching and suck- ing those corn grains made me hungry. Oh, I enjoyed the sensation so mach. It made ime ravenous. When I returned from my welk I wanted to eat. coutinaed visiting the white pig and ect- ing three good meals a day until I was myself again and as healthy as I xm now. I don't care to nnderstand the I am only too glad

ne

Getting a Deed Man Out of a Hotel,

“Twas stopping at the United States hotel in New York several years ago,” said Mr. William IL Montagne, ‘and while there formed s very pleasant ac- q uaintan ce with the chief clerk. We atti afternoon when a

be Nb y came to him and stated the man in No. 26 was dead. for some time and had probably died of what doctors now call heart failure. The hotel was fnil of guests, and how to re move the man without arousing their suspicions was 2 puzzling question. The deceased had 2 sister living on Thirty- first street, and it was decided to carry

One

the body to her home. A hack was called, and two of the stoutest porters were called upon to dress the body in |

everyday costume, and with one on each cide walk him down stairs as if he wae

ina maudlin State of intoxication. Ty- ervthing + red to perfection, end ins

kaif kour 1 the dead body had been seated in the hi and driven away, none of the guests being the wiser for what had ba, ™hed,”"~-St. Louis Republic

ica

Se [|

He had been ailing }

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--L898-- stocktaking Sale

Before stocktaking we offer the buance of our stock ur men’s ulsters and overcoats, at clearance prices, It you want one. you will get a snap— at the price you can buy here fur now.

A lot of boys and youths U!sters, at about half price $5 57 for $2 95, and so on. BUOTS, BOOTS, this way for

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come this way

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200 Bicycles Wanted

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