NovemBErR 1, 2005

THE CADRE @ 7

Food for Thought

Will Cooper Contributor

Following the example of the palaverous Ryan Gallant and the Cadre’s own Managing Editor, Ray Keating, I will indulge in a short rant. I’m going to talk about an issue that is very close to my heart.

As a teenager I took it upon myself to try and figure out this messy world we live in, to see if I could come up with any solutions for the future. After much deliberation, I came to the conclusion that the main problem with the world is the division of the human race. The reason for all the wars and the hunger and the fact that we don’t care about the environment is the fact that there is no “we” to do the caring. We live in a secular world where nations, like economic armies, compete against one another for money and available resources. Our individual lives are reflections of this international competition.

What’s worst of all about this is that we do not get to be free in this world we live in. We are the captives of the nations into which we were born or have citizenship. I am fortunate enough to have three passports. I have the right to live in any of three different continents. Because this is my right, I feel entitled to it and cannot imagine having it taken away. But what about people who possess only one passport? Why don’t they have the right to live in Europe or Australasia? Who, for that matter, has the right to tell them that they can’t? Who is it who thinks that they own the world, that they cut the planet up into little sections where only certain people are permitted to go? That just doesn’t make any sense. It just isn’t right or fair. How can anyone say we are free, living here in Canada? Canada is but one of the many political prisons that make up our world. It’s a nicer prison than most and one that people from some of the other prisons would kill to get transferred to. But it is a prison nonetheless. Nobody is free.

That is not say that we have been going backwards in our course,

moving further away from any chance of a free world and a united humanity. In fact, we have now come to the point where this competition is working in our favour, by bringing nations together. Just look at Europe: Look at all those countries overcoming cultural and language barriers, letting down their their walls to become part a greater political unit. Of course, they do this only because together they are a stronger economic force and are better able to compete with the United States; however, they are still doing it. And the result is that the people in those countries are free to live, work, and go where they please. As they should be. Their prison walls have have receded somewhat and given way to larger, brighter world.

What’s happening in Europe excites me, because it’s not only the rich countries with good human rights records that are coming together. Countries like Turkey, too, are doing their utmost to elevate themselves to a standard which is acceptable to the other countries. They are willing to undergo drastic changes in order to be included in the economic circle. Other countries will no doubt continue to follow suit. Eventually, it will become clear to all the nations of the world that it does not make economic sense to stand alone, and so they will all start to work as hard as they can to jump into bed with the rest. Then, finally, we have a global effort to unite, and we will be heading sure-footedly down the road to true freedom and equality. No doubt, countries like the States and China will resist to the last. But, in the end, they too will come to their senses. Because it won’t make any sense to be an outsider in a world where everyone else is in. The era of the “lone wolf” is coming to a close. And a new and beautiful chapter in the history of the world is about to begin.

*I would very much appreciate some feedback from this. So please take advantage of The Cadre 5 “‘Letters to the Editor” section and voice your opinion.

Watch the Stereotypes, America

Adam Gaumont

The Gateway (University of Alberta) \ike to see the evidence. More impor-

EDMONTON (CUP) -- In response to Prime Minister Paul Martin's recent trip to George Bush's lair in Texas, the American media has been calling Canada all kinds of names. According to a story in the Edmonton Journal, our fine country was described as a "great white waste of time" by the Weekly Standard, which also said we were comprised of "a docile, Zamboni- driving people who subsist on seal cas- serole and Molson."

Elsewhere, a recent New York Times article suggested that many a ter- rorist has slipped into the U.S. via Canada thanks to a porous border; yet another article in that same publication said that "with the possible exception of France" -- because those damn frogs have had it in for the Yankees ever since Napoleon died -- "no traditional ally has been more consistently at odds with the United States than has Canada." Ru- mours have even swirled that a group of Fox News anchors recently stuck their tongues out in a northerly direc- tion and said "phtbhpthbpt." As it stands, then, a whole lot of mud has been slung here, and we must look at the com- ments in detail in order to comprehend their sheer stupidity.

First of all, the blindly ignorant stereotypes put forth by the blowhard in the Weekly Standard are both libel- lous and inaccurate. Now I can't speak for everyone, but I personally only have seal casserole four, maybe five nights a week -- hardly what I'd call "subsist- ing." And though I usually average 10 to 12 Molsons per day, I rarely drink before 10 a.m. unless it's payday. Or the weekend. And as for my chosen method of transportation, I only drive my Zamboni, or what we here in Canada like to call a convertible, in the summer, and even then only on the warmest of days.

Regarding the more serious ac- cusation of a porous border allowing terrorists to seep in to the US of A: un- less, by "terrorists," they mean anyone with dark skin and facial hair -- and I suspect that is what they think -- I'd

tantly, though, it should be pointed out that the American border crossing is, in fact, guarded by Americans. So, if they think that the "bad guys" are getting into their country, it's nobody's fault but their own. And given the horror stories that I've personally heard since Sept. 11, 2001, regarding the antics of the cow- boys that staff the U.S. points of entry -- some highlights include strip-search- ing a 70-year-old woman, making peo- ple throw out their roast beef sand- wiches and the unprovoked ransack- ing of vehicles -- it seems unlikely that anyone with so much as a loaded Pez dispenser would be granted access into the land of the free.

As for the notion that Canada and the U.S. aren't the pals that we pre- tend to be, well, that's not news to us. Our PMs have traditionally put on a good face when swinging free-trade agreements and the like, as well as at the rare photo-ops and meetings that the Americans grace us with, but we've had several well-documented conflicts over the years, and this trend will un- doubtedly continue in the future. To criti- cize us for such things as harbouring Vietnam draft dodgers and signing onto the Kyoto accord, as the Times article did, is just obnoxious. First of all, at- tempting to justify the Vietnam War is so 1968; these days, even Robert frickin' McNamara is coming out and admitting that the war was a mistake. And the Kyoto accord? Well, excuse us crazy Canadians for having such ideological fantasies as "caring for the environment" and "considering future generations."

However, if the American media wants to perpetuate such ridiculous stereotypes about its harmless north- em neighbours, then let it. And if there are morons out there willing to eat it up, then all the power to them, too. In fact, we Canadians should encourage such ignorant propaganda and stere- otyping; otherwise, some Americans might catch on to our nice little north- erly secret and actually want to move here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a dogsled to catch.