»' ‘ The UPEI SUN, November 19, 1981, page 5

‘1' he ‘ ’ I Professors» .; ,.'- " Diafp

mnday: A thousand apologies, Dear Diary, for last week's unwonted hiatus. A trifling , indisposition kept me to my bed and away from

the office. Fortunately, no one seems to have noticed. I had nothing in the house to read except some m books and my collected Senate minutes. Sate-tines, being a little light—headed, , I found it difficult. to tell one. from the other. .

Tuesday: Now that the SQ has turned into a Poetry Weekly,~ I see an opportunity to fatten

my c.v. with a publication. Many colleagues

in my subject or in this building would be surprised to learn that I am a secret versifier. Admittedly,‘ however, the standards set by the _SU__N_ are rather tricky. I wonder what they . would of my "Song of the Strife", conceived in a somewhat bilious mood after a walk across the field for lunch:

Land of the .Burger King, Home of the Whopper, Where still the Mighty Mac Burgeons at will:

Oh, A and W,

Why do I trouble you? Boon ditty boom boom boom, *Boom‘ditty barf.

That last line "strikes the right note I believe. — 5 < «v ,. - Wednesday: I have discovered that other poems are circulating orally in this campus of ‘ v singing birds. I have heard verSions of the following intriguing fragment from three different professors! It is said to orginate ‘ ‘ ' ' in a certain social science department, but this . is hardly credible. (Che must walk before one can run.) It reads more like a press. release from the Information Office: I g ’ The Island U. with sinking funds A costly leisure-dare has bought, v Where past the rink the sidewalk runs ‘ Down to‘the parking lot. " t’ like my salary, stops just when you're getting interested. . . ' ' »~ —‘

Thursday: Oneljpff'nymgygunger colleagues attempted; to argue today that’thére is a more intellectual;

Faculty lounge. ,Prepos'terousl Why, in the‘ .7 cafeteria, as- I‘gather, students spend much of the time taﬂtmg,m"ﬂmir l'mework. 2 Whereas in the Faqglty range farbeyond, lastnightf'vs heckey game, our latest, salary ~- settlement, the dullness of students, etc. ,

etc. In my view, professors who frequent the cafeteria lmer the, wholge tone§ofﬁt11emﬁrersity

Friday: A'distur'bing tumofwevehts the ' MacDonald girl. She came to my‘bffioe yesterday ostensibly to talk about her mid-term, on which She received 35, a .gift.., She began by questioning my correction of technical terminology. In answer, I pulled down a standard reference book to Show her. "My", she said, ' and leaned in closer, "That's a big reference b00k, isn’t it?" ' "The bigger the better!" I Wipped, with ready wit. '"Ihat's not necessarily $0: is it?" she said huskily. . 1nterview a's . . .tly.

atuosphere in theistude‘nt cafeteria than in the L;

Bio Barks Back

Recently, in my quiet, unassuming way, (biologically speaking) ,

_ I have noticed certain. .

; i .3". a

how shall I say it... unfriendly?. . . uncompli— mentary? . . . disparaging?

. . . all-in—all NUI‘ NICE. (

.. (yes, that shall do) remarks and/or innuendos reguarding a particular body of students.

These opinions _ appear to dribble fran the pencil of an engineering Student, being directed towards everybody, but seenung to zero in on biology students.

Ahem.

I am a biology student.

Me.

Moi.

It causes me some concern that the engineering section of our otherwise noble institution is still intact.

(An aside — it is surely unfortunate that some engineering students can skate - I understand that engineering students were foreign to the red soil of this fair isle, until one black day when a pack of thenlwere playing ice hockey on an iceburg near Cow Head and one of them got a breakaway...)

It is truely an unfortunate situation wherein he who jabbers loudest is'heard - for the strident cacophony of the engineering ensemble is not music to the ears. ,

It is, however, to laugh.

I laugh — haha - I

laugh. _ . In my beWilderment at the existance of this unfortunate species, I" can but marvel at the

mysteries of the Universe.

I do believe (although I rruSt confess this new phenomena has shaken" me sorrewhat) that "... to eyerything‘,

there is a season..."; but now I find myself anxiously inquiring, "Why, God; Why? Is inflation really so bad that we must be tormented with this horrendous plague of engineering students?"

( An aside - while idly leafing through Hy biology text the other day, I chanced upon a discussion on mutations, and found myself ruefully agreeing that all nutations certainly aren't beneficial to the species as a whole. I pondered briefly upon the remark- able endurance of Homo Engineerus, and concluded there must be some genetic equivalence with the pesky, DDT- adaptable mosquito.)

I feel an urge to digress (whick is unfortunate, since the typewriter has indicated forcefully that if I type that E — word again she will take an extended oil break).

(Ahhhh, he gently burps, having digressed a six—pack from a frosted glass).

Let_us not nunce words, Hy semi—literate friends from engineering. Disembark from your cracked-glass castle on your mount of misfortune, and allow your wit and imagination (such as they are) free rein on a field Of combat of your own choosing. Pit the cold lead of a drafting pencil 'gainst the cold steel of'a dissecting scalpel. Test.the pathos of the ruins of a once mighty bridge with the eternal triumph of a budding rose in ' spring; and last but not least put your electrodes in the frying pan of .. reality and watch 'em sizzle. y_

(signed) _ Gene Pituitary

Rumor .' Hath It

- that Cynthia K. is a

— that Patti B. got a buzz on and couldn't get u ’

him off.

- that the C.P. chief had a date last Saturday

night, about time, eh Vic?!

- that Education students are nearly done classes

for the semester.

- that P.B. went on it last weekend! - that 6:00 am comes early on Sunday moring.