s

A Parody on “One Moment in Time”

By Whitney Houston Ca MPuUS Com ment

“The Average Party Leader’s Campaign oe What do you really think of the Gem? Chorus: _ What would Ee do differently?

Verse I I want one more mandate,

Each campaign stop I make,

I want to show the voters,

that I am the best candidate, And I can avoid political craters.

To be more scandalous than anyone thought I could be; Kae ee usine

When all of my dreams could destroy the whole country, And the policies are all up to me. Give me one more mandate,

As I’m fighting against destiny;

There in that one more mandate,

I will feel, I will feel, invincibility. Are as yet undiscovered. Vets Il

I canvass every neighborhood,

It’s gotten better since Chris

I’m only one, surrounded by advisors mas. Excellent :Advertising.

(Who are intellectually —— Our worst decisions,

: I wish to be known as, For every possible vote; The very best; ’

To win reelection, I want it all, I’ve piloted the patronage boat. My career rises and falls,

Yet through it all,

My pensions remains:

No time for less. I’ve run the campaign, Now give me your votes,

Here in my hands... Linda MacKenny

Glenna Campbell 2nd Arts

This Week in History © _ Great but wah it woud

April 10-23

James Kirby Marin reports in The World Book Encyclope- dia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988), vol.16, p.269-71, that Paul Revere conducted his historical : as : ride on April 18, 1775. Mike i

In The World Book Ency- Ist Science clopedia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988),vol.1, p.577, Sharron G. Uhler reports that the Revolu- tionary War began in Lexington on April 19, 1775.

According to James Kirby Marin in The World Book Ency- clopedia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988),vol.16. p.14-16, that Napolean Bonaparte abdicated on April 11, 1814.

According to Joseph Nathan Kane in Famous First Facts, 3rd ed. (New York: The H.W. Wil- son Company, 1964), p.93, the

Heritage Corner

It’s a waste of paper. more scandal and gossip.

Steven Ramsay

2nd Engineering

Not as good as the Enea: . ing paper.

U.S. government authorized the second Bank of the United States on April 10, 1816.

On April 12, 1861, Fort Sumter in South Carolina was fired upon. This marked the beginning of the American Civil War (Kane, p.163).

In the Academic American ~

Encyclopedia (Danbury, Con- necticut: Grolier Incorporated, 1988), vol. 12, p.349, Mark E. Neely, Jr. reports that John Wilkes Booth fatally shot Presi- dent Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theatre (in Washington, D.C.) on April 14, 1865.

In The World Book Ency- clopedia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988),vol.9, p.251, William A. Jenks reports that Adolf Hitler was born on April 20, 1889.

On April 21, 1898, the Spanish-American War began (Ulher, p.577).

= page 6 =

In the Academic American Encyclopedia (Danbury, Con- necticut: Grolier Incorporated, 1988), vol. 17, p.53, Max C. Kinkeberg reports that San Fran- cisco suffered a major earthquake on April 18, 1906.

On April 14, 1910, President William Howard Taft threw a baseball to open the baseball sea- son. He was the first president to do so (Kane,p.476)

In The World Book Ency- clopedia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988),vol.19, p.299-300, Walter Lord reports that the “un- sinkable” Titanic struck an ice- berg and sank on April 14-15, 1912. Around 1500 people died.

The U.S.S. “New Mexico” was launched on April 23, 1917. The “New Mexico” was the first war- ship that was propelled by elec- tricity (Kane, p.555).

The first crossword puzzle book was published on April 18, 1924 (Kane, p.201).

James T. Patterson reports in The World Book Encyclope- dia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988),vol.16, p.466-67, that Pres- ident Nicholas J. Roosevelt died on April 12, 1945.

In The World Book Ency- clopedia (Toronto: World Book, Inc., 1988), vol.6, p.238-40, Dorothy Laird reports that Eliz- abeth Alexandra Mary was born on April 21, 1926. She became Queen Elizabeth II on February 6, 1952.

On April 12, 1961, Yuri Gagarin orbited the earth (Uh- ler, p.576). This Soviet astronaut was the first person to do so.

Queen Elizabeth II signed the Constitutional Act on April 17, 1982 (Uhler, p.577).

—Malcolm Gorrill

Doug Weeks 3rd Arts

It’s valuable because it’s newspaper. There should be bi ger promotion on letters to editor. It should have more 2! cles and reporting on commu! issues as it concerns the univ4 sity. Bug profs to submit arti! and social committees.

GOOD Ilck

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