room-mate around since i established

it possible to

student. Bill a technique ‘Oid fish .tank

of action en-

results the placed in the lid should be and .a varie- method is he raw terror

an all night are serious nyou should

Your room-

as with the

Imals are fed ,

‘Or snacksor -

puaah

, roommate

Sunday meals. If your room-mate

.persists in his habit of returning to

your room to live. floodlights should be added to the aquarium to provide night viewing of the rep- tiles. -

Remember. don't be unfair to him. he’s been working night and day for several years to carve out a place for himself at university. Maybe he is simply a little shy for the first seven months. .

if these techniques don't work. look at him with an objective, open mind and put him in one of the following categories: V a. shy -— the type who only talks on weekends and civic holidays. b. backward —- the type who can’t maintain a cohversation with a telephone operator.

c.‘unpopular - the type who» ,doesn't even get junk mail.

Any one of these characteristics can be used to your advantage.

if you have no scruples at all simply begin by removing his per- sonal belongings over a period of several days. Start with his bed as this is what makes him return to the room each night. By bringing in a ping pong table for your personal use, start to lay the format for the renovation of the room. Throughout the week. remove fix- tures and mirrors or; his side of the room. Make sure that all damages are reported to the dean of residences and ,that the respon- sibility form is signed with your room-mate's forged signature and falsely witnessed by the guy across the hall. Using a razorblade, cut the carpet out of his side of the room so that in the morning when he gets up off the ping pong table his bare foot hits the sub-zero tile.

A Queen’s Psychology major (who we will call Mr. F.B.) says that

' he overcame the problem of room— -

mate elimination during his first

' year. “‘Oh yeah.,| remember my

room-mate Sam," he says proudly. “i had a new room-mate by Thanksgiving”. Mr. F. B., a corn- pulsive napkin writer from way back. summarized (on a serviette) what he called the “klepto method"; - , This method requires th

‘ removal of one's own personal

belongings, an interesting reversal of roles. By hiding his most treasured possessions and by giv- ing away his deodorant. toothpaste. etc., Mr. F.B. created valid grounds for falsely accusing his room-mate of being one who

things unconsciously ('klep-

>%'I:heICa~c1F>1-er, November 25, 1976 page 7.

Solurnoh

tomaniac). By spreading vicious rumours to his close associates. Mr. F.B. succeeded in providing an environment threatening enough

to drive his room-mate out. (What

Mr. F.B. failed to mention was that he also had a new room-mate at Christmas and Easter and that by late April his room was getting fair- ly crowded).

if non of these methods have proved effective. maybe you have over-estimated your room-mate's intelligence. Maybe you could get away with using the old standard

methods. From a recent survey of

upper year students who

successfully got rid of their room-

mates. 65% felt that the common

methods worked more effectively

and saved time. (Le. those

' methods such as changing doors.

stealing and setting the room on fire). ‘

The impact of the survey's. fln- dings could be seen graphically by using a supply and demand curve for room-mates. At the beginning of trash week the demand and

supply of room-mates gives us the

equilibrium price for room-mates; that is, every person ‘was paired

with another and all were accom- modated. Because of the early ad- vent of room-mate terrorization. more room-mates were pushed out into the housing market against their will. Residence killings which would rise later in the year (room- mates who could not otherwise be eliminated) would trigger a slight drop in the supply of room-mates (cateris paribus). ' r.

it should be remembered that getting your room-mate to make the big move may not be easy. He may resist and he might even retaliate. Remember how different you two are as individuals. If you are tell, he is short. If you are a nor- mal. clean-living person. he is a total boar. if you are quiet. un- aggressive and easily irritated, he is likely someone like Howie Meeker. -

if’the opportunity should ever arise you might even sit down and explain to him how you are two different characters and that even though you like him. you think he would bemore comfortable living somewhere else. where he didn't run the risk of being stabbed in his sleep.

.EYtob (a.