56

penne part nso i

WISEBELAN TY.

a

THE BACHELOR’S DREAM.

The music ceased, the last quadrille was o’er, And one by one the waning beauties fled ; The garlands vanished from the frescoed floor, The nodding fiddler hung his weary head.

And I—a melancholy single man— Retired to mourn my solitary fate. I slept awhile ; but o’er my slumbers ran The sylph-like image of my blooming Kate.

{ dreamt of mutual love, and Hymen’s joys, Of happy moments and connubial blisses ;

And then I thought of little girls and boys, The mother’s glances and the infants’ kisses.

] saw them all, in sweet perspective sitting In winter’s eve around a blazing fire,

The children playing, and the mother knitting, Or fondly gazing on the happy sire.

The scene was changed :—In came the baker’s bill ; I stared to see the hideous consummation

Of pies and puddings that it took to fill The bellies of the rising generation.

There was no end to eating—legs of mutton Were vanquished daily by this little host;

To see them, you’d have thought each little glutton Had laid a wager who weuld eat the most.

The massive pudding smoked upon the platter, The ponderous sirloin reared its head in vain:

The little urchins kicked up such a clatter, That scarce a remnant e’er appeared again.

ES aneaaaan

THE EXAMINER.

OO OA LO AOA

Too MANY Srockines.—Widow Quiggles Jooked| ; A CAPITAL JOKE. —

Pilea ating se 8 a ae Struggle’s yard, and discover-| The Lord ern a ryt’ coagediad A ed five pair of stockings hanging on the line. |pointment to Ya the e , we hief ae aie | «Du tell.” said she, “where on airth did that other thither in the a ae - the me m _ ~ * “pet ‘pair of stockings cum from? and I vow thur just like jadimitted by one o 1 1€ = who w aes - Fath the rest of em. ‘There ain’t but four in the family, no| ceive a patient answering = yrs aie = ‘heow, and where that ither odd tew come from een’ a) He appeared tobe Wry ay retve, ei _ ” ked as I knew on—|moured him and answered all his questions.—He aske

‘puzzles me. I didn’t see no one go in, =f : ; 8 ; hae on airth could they git in ’thout me seein’ on ’em? if the Surgeon General had arrived, and the keeper = They couldn’t have bought it, ‘cause the hull lot of °em/swered him that he had not yet come, but that he wou They cot g

. : > ; ry i is poor as pison. Got ’em ’gin tew ’em, mabbe; but be there immediately. ‘Well, one he, ‘I will a ar . . =~ . S > r F - int got no rich re-|some of the rooms till he arrives.’ ‘Oh, no, said the

that ain’t possi ither, for they ai bers eater of the gal’d come out, I'd keeper, ‘ we could not permit that at all.” ‘ Then I = lask her. Ah! there is Sally. Sally, dear, I see you) walk for a while in the garden, said his lordship, while 'hev been increasin’ your wardrobe.” ‘Lam waiting for him. ‘ We cannot let you go there | «How so, Mrs. Quiggles ?” inquired Sally. ‘either, sir” said the keeper. ‘What! said la don : | “ Why, you hev got an addition of stockings on your|you know that I am the Lord Chanceller? ‘% it wi ‘line, dear,” answered Mrs. Q. we _ _ {the keeper, ‘we have four more Lord Laon ere “Oh, yes,” said Sally, I have been knitting a pair for already.’ He got ina great fury, and they were begin- ithe Parson, ma’am. ‘ing to think of the strait waistcoat for him, when fortu- | « Indeed!” said Mrs. Q., turning away in high dudgeon; nately the Surgeon General arrived. ‘Has the Chan- '“the pesked, nasty, good-for-nothin’ chit thinks tu begin | cellor arrived yet?’ asked he. The man burst out a ‘at the parson’s feet and knit upwards tu his affections ; ing at him, and said, ‘Yes, sir, we have him safe : but ‘but PH spile that—W’ll gin him a hull suit of woolen to he is far the most dangerous patient we have.” Mr. ‘kiver his reverence. I know’d them stockings had no O’Connell told this anecdote in Dublin, at a public

good purpose—know’d it !”— Reveille. meeting.

iia | A Recruse.—The Brooklyn Advertiser published} Lixines.—‘ Jane, what letter of the alphabet do you ithe following singular story: ‘There dwells ina se-/like best? ‘Well, I don’t like to say, Mr. Snobbs.’— icluded part of the city, in a hovel of wretched and ob-|* Pooh, nonsense, tell right out, Jane, which do you like 'scure exterior, a young female of singular beauty, who|best?’ ‘Well, dropping her eyes, ‘I like U the best.

|for three years past has lived a recluse from all asso-| Mrs. Partington says she has always noticed that, iati i ommon intercourse | wi “ . : iciations with the world, save in the com whether flour was dear or cheap, she had invariably to

‘forced upon her by the purchase of her household arti- ‘As _— eo She s pt - be immensely rich, and is a same money for half a dollar’s worth.—Beston

‘known to be in possesion of goods of rare value; but a ‘whence she came, who she is, or what her object in| Mrs. Printz avers, most. positively, that she has no

he oon oe oa eae iat he | pursuing a career so strange, no one can divine. Since opinion of a man who is ‘ loose in his habits, and thinks

j i

Then came the school bill—board and education —_| So much per annum; but the extras, mounted | To nearly twice the primal stipulation, And very little bagatelle was counted!

To mending tuck—a new Homeri Ilias— | A pane of glass—repairing coat and breeches— |

A slate and pencil—binding old Virgilius— Drawing a tooth—an opening draft and leeches,

And now I languished for the single state, The social glass, the horse and fly on Sunday, The jaunt to Classon’s with my sweetheart Kate, And cursed again the weekly bills on Monday.

Here Kate began to scold—I stampt and swore, The kittens squeak, the children loudly scream, And thus waking with the wild uproar, I thanked my stars that it was but a dream.

DON’T KNOW WHICH TO CHOOSE.

‘I don’t know which of them to take exclaimed Miss Snarewell to her friend, (of course she spoke in confi- dence,) as two gentlemen bade her good evening, after having been for hours enchanted by her attractions; “[ don’t really know which of the two I prefer, one or the other I must have—I see they are such good friends,

too; I hate to choose one of them for fear of hurting the |

feelings of the other!”

‘What a pity it is’ answered her friend, ‘that vou cannot take both, since you are at a loss which to choose”

The sly satire of her friend’s remark did not escape the penetration of Miss Snarewell, but not choosing to notice it, probably suspecting her dear friend of beine a little envious, she went on with her discourse as if no interruption had occurred.

‘I am trying to make up my mind,’ she resumed, ‘be- fore [am called on to decide. Silvertone has such elegant manners, he talks so eloquently, he has deci- dediy the highest order of talent, and he is so devoted! But then, Broadacre is wealthy, he has houses in town —houses in the country! Really I am at a loss which to choose !’

‘Of course” remarked her friend, ¢ i that they both intend to offer?” pi atidiecsdareoss

‘What else can they intend,’ was almost the indig- nt os tet question. g

- hothing else, certainly! replie

‘they are both fascinated of shin a oe thinking—you know my odd way of speculating { would not advise you to make up your mind jn such a case, *till they make their proposals, and then require little time, and use it in finding out which of the ec candidates you prefer, and give an answer according] °

_ Miss Snarewell came to the conclusion that the’ cd. vice of her friend was very prudent, so she made up her mind to wait and not give any marked preference to either gentleman, till they made their expected offers In the meantime, Miss Snarewell continued as fascinat- ing as ever, and the gentlemen in question, as much

enchanted with her as formerly, and the offers were fe hourly expected; instead of which, came a pretty little |b

box, tied with white ribbon, containing cards with ‘M

and Mrs. Silvertone’s compliments,’ and a piece of bride

cake !—And on the very next morning, she read in the

ag Oe pana ¢ ete to Miss —_., e was too indignant to read w but the }

her prudent friend and confident. re

her which the most curious and inquisitive are unable:

| her personal charms have won to admiration.”

. * \ “= rT : ? she has been an occupant of the place, no visitor has|less of one who will get ‘tight. been known toenter her abode, and lovely as sheis in| 4 rugged countenance often conceals the warm

| : . ° form and feature, she appears studiously to avoid the|heart; as the richest pear! sleeps in the roughest shell.

ruder sex, and seems to entertain for man an insuper-| peennone — a able aversion.—There is a mystery connected with | \ otice to the Tenants on Township No. 8.

to fathom; and a deep and all absorbing interest in '[‘HE Subscriber having been duly empower-

relation to her has been excited among many whom! ed by Urren THomas Topp and Ricnarp James Sux-

RY Topp, Esquires, to take the management of that part of the

above Township, belonging to them, and to act generally ¢s

their Agent, hereby requests all persons indebted to them for arrears of Rent, or otherwise, to make immediate payment. W. W. [RVING,

Kitt orn Cort.—* Tom, a word with you.”

“ Be quick, then, for ’m in a hurry.”

“What did you give your sick horse t’other day ?” | August 7.

“ A pint o’ turpentine.” NOTICE

John hurries home and administers the same dose to] to) ¢y¢ Texants on Townsnips Nos. 34, 58. aun 39. a favourite hunter, which, strange to say, drops off de- pu E. Subscriber having been duly empower- funct in half an hour. His opinion of his friend Tom’s ed by Sin Granam Montcomery, Bart., RoBER1 veterinary ability is somewhat staggered. He meets}Monrcomery and JAMES MontGomery, Esquinrks, to take him the next day— the management of their property in this Island, and to act

“ Well, Tom!” generally as their Agent, hereby requests all persons indebted

“ Well, John, what is it >” to them for arrears of Rent, or otherwise, to make immediate

. . , . ayment. _“T gave my horse a pint o’ turpentine, and it killed|? him as dead as Julius Cesar.” August 7.

“cs ? > 1 ” canemavatinpsiamatmsitiicesenatunmmanimnnananeniasesinemiisnenaiinniiitie lain So’t did mine. NOTICE.

Staturs.—* Every block of wood or stone,” says ALL Debts due to Mr. P G. Clark, up to

Boccolini, “contains a fine statue: the only difficulty |,,, ste ? aa sey rd aoe Sy oe one wansvered

; : re ; Subs er-—Notice is hereby given that unless immedi-

is to extract it.” Would it not be more correct to say, | ate payment of said Debts be made to the said P. G. Clark, or

that the mind of every competent sculptor contains a|to Mr. Nanian Patterson, legal measures will be made use of

beautiful statue, and that nothing is wanting to its com-|for their recovery.

omee'y but materials and time? A good artist must|_ August 7. JOHN F. CLARK. rood upon his own conception, and hatch it into imagi- i

nary life, before he attempts to materialise it; and the I nb = _ or 2 — 2 ef

higher his mental scope, the lower, generally, will be) PH@.NIX FOUNDRY, P. E. Island. : r

his opinion of his own handiwork. “I shall never have} Aug. 7.

another great idea,” said Thorwaldsen, despondingly, —

as he contemplated his statue of Christ in the Garden. THE BXAMIBRR

“It is the first of my works with which I have ever been|{s Printed and Published by Epwarp Wueran, at his Offi

satisfied. Alas! it is not thatI have brought my execu-|in Great George Street, every Saturday, and sent to patent

W. W. IRVING,

down to my execution.” When the beau-ideal, whether |P°St2ge- Half of every Subscription is required to be paid in material or moral, no longer exists for a man, he has advance,—and no paper will be discontinued until all arrears

~ ee are paid. lost the sweetest and most elevating charm of his life. ADVERTIZEMENTS will be inserted at the usual rates—A

ene mene liberal discount will be allowed to Auctioneers who advertize

An Honour ro mis Motuer.— John, inquired a by the year.

heute : a4 : ; . PLAIN aND ORNAMENTAL Jos PRINTING can be done on ie of a hopeful pupil, ‘ what is a nailer? ‘A man the most reasonable terms at the Office of THe EXamineR—

who makes nails,’ said J ohn.-—* Very good. What is a/the Proprietor having selected for this purpose an extensive as-

tailor ? ——§ One who makes tails” ‘ O, you stupid fe]-|sortment of the most modern and ornamental Job Type.

low, said the dominie, biting his lips, ‘a man who makes|,, Orders and Communicationsfrom the Country, addressed to

tails"—* Yes, master,’ returned John, ‘if the tailor did |‘"® Proprietor, must be post paid, in order to ensure attention.

not put tails to the coats he made, they would be all AGENTS.

jackets ? ‘Sit down, John, you’re an honour to your| The following gentlemen will act as Agents for Tar Ex,-

maternal parent.’ MINER in their several neighbourhoods. Parties wishing to subscribe for the Paper, or to pay money on its account can

A Personat Reevxe.—The late Rey. D doso by calling on any of the undermentioned Agents: 7

: : : age : . r.——, of St. Andrews—Mr P. Bambrick

a certain town in Maine, an eccentric but honest minis- Morell—John Jardine, Esq, M P P

ter, was preaching on the practical virtues ;and having, St Peter’s Bay—Mr John Sutherland

a short time previously, bought a load of wood of one of Neufrage and St Margaret’s—D. McDonald, Esq, MPP

the officers of the church, and finding it fall short in East Point—Angus James McIntyre, Esq. J P ,

measure, took this occasion to speak thus plain on th ecugeisreeclacdic ton,

“oo . e Georgetown—Martin B ‘ subject: * Any man that will sell seven feet of wood Marrey Harbeur—Jobn W:LeLathour Esq, MPP or acord, is no christian, whether he sits in the gallery, Orwell—John McDougall, Esq eg elow, or even in the deacon’s seat " Vernon River—Mr. Mathew Redmond Princetown—William Beairsto, Esq

‘Bill? said Bob, ‘ why is that tree called a weeping chemin Gane Gat we

willow ? **Cause one of the sneakine d g dratted things Lot 1l—James Warburto . ~ ome - en — supplied the maith — Hill—James Yeo, Bad. J steed icks that did all the bove’ licking. : ignish— Nicholas Conro : ugly picture.’ ve Neking--Garn ite “i mp P pe

Lot 16—Allan Fraser, Esq. M New Glasgow~Alexander Laird, Esq. J P

tion up to my idea, but that I have brought my idea|bers for Fifteen Shillings a year—exclusive, in all cases, of

~ aeags