NovemBer 15, 2005

THE CADRE ¢ 6

Over-drinking on Your 19th Birthday: A Case Study

Josh Lewis Sports Reporter

(Note: This column was written in the midst of a hangover of epic proportions. Enjoy!)

Last Wednesday, I found myself blessed with a rare occasion: my 19th birthday. So naturally, I had to go to the Wave and witness McRorie the one man band in all his crowning glory while getting hammered. I would like to preface the debauchery that follows by saying that my cousin Ashley warned me repeatedly to stay home and study. Study, or get drunk... hmm. Oh, and I remember not a word of what you are about to read. So if you have a problem with it, talk to the morons who told me this stuff.

The night began with the guy taking my ticket telling me to get my: head out of my ass and write more campus sports in the Cadre. I told him to go stick his head in a toilet. Ironically, I would end up doing that several times.

Before long, I made an excellent first impression on the good folks at the Wave by dancing on the table for approximately 0.5 seconds before falling offin a drunken stupor. I’ve also heard accounts of me stripping off three layers of shirts, accounts which I hope are grossly exaggerated. At this time I decided that I needed to become even more staggeringly drunk:

“Attention everyone. I’m thirsty. Ineed something to drink. Donnie, how much does a fire truck cost?”

Donnie Cameron: “I don’t know, over $100,000.”

I pulled out my wallet and sadly observed, “I only have 40 bucks, and I

don’t want to break a 20.” Soon after, my good buddy Ben bought me a fire truck.

Later on, I took a break from screaming that L.A. had to beat Detroit, to see Brandon Williams put his arm around his girlfriend Andy Bulman (who is a girl, for those who thought she was gay). After I yelled at Brandon for being so bold, Andy told me to “shut up, Lewis. You’re just bitter because you’re alone,” to which I readily agreed. Apparently not satisfied by that, I then unzipped my jacket in an oh-so-terrific attempt at seduction, which was surprisingly shot down.

Then I heard McRorie play a Bryan Adams song. That sparked this intelligent exchange:

Lewis: “I love Bryan Adams.”

Ryan Blacquiere: “Why don’t you marry him then?”

Lewis: “Fuck off Ryan”

(30 seconds later)

“Tlove Bryan Adams.”

“Why don’t you marry him then?” “What?”

“Why don’t you marry him then?” “Fuck off Ryan.”

(a few seconds later)

“T LOVE Bryan Adams.”

‘Why don’t you marry him then?”

“T love his music. I don’t love him as a lovemate.”

“Why don’t you marry him then?” “Fuck off Ryan”

That could explain why, when I sobered up, I found this written on my left arm: “I love Bryan Adams. I want to sex him up.”

And Ill leave you with what was on the other arm: “I Like Boys! Wow what a night. I don’t remember all the groingrabbingly weird moments. I was or did sodomize a baby foal. I guess hat’s what happens when you over drink on your 19th b-day. I guess my (black) ass got BOSSED!”

Are Americans Really As Knowledgeable As

They Think They Are? : When there are disputes on the Cheryl Gauthier issues of labour laws in smaller Contributor

In the past twenty years, the majority of the American media has come under the control of six large, private corporations. These six companies own most of the popular news networks including CNN, Time Magazine, CBS News, ABC News, MSNBC, NBC News, and Fox News; and they also own many of the popular entertainment media outlets: AOL, HBO, CBS,

Comedy Central, CMT, MTV, . Nickelodeon, Showtime, Spike TV, —

Disney, ABC, ESPN, Bravo, Sci-Fi, and Fox.

If the situation were not bad enough, these corporate giants also own a large piece of the movie industry with Famous Players Theatres, Cinemax Films and Theatres, Disney Films, Universal Studios, Touchstone Pictures,

Miramax Pictures, Buena Vista Films, -

and 20th Century Fox Studios. To make matters even worse, these same

| companies also have stakes in

publishing, music recording, the internet, and own thousands of newspapers at the local and national level including The Boston Herald.

This group also owns hundreds of local television stations across the United States. These corporations are not only in the United States, but across the globe as well, with affiliates and subsidiary companies in Australia, England, France, Mexico, New Zealand, and even Canada.

With such a wide base of support, one would think that they may be able to employ enough staffto cover world news with a certain degree of accuracy. However, these corporations are all headed by loyal American citizens who wish to stay in the good graces of their government. They are also owned and run by greedy CEOs who are out to make as much money as possible.

countries, do they give any coverage at all, never mind accurate coverage?

No.

How many people have ever heard of the IMF protests in Argentina in 2001? That’s what I thought. These events all took place to protest new IMF (International Monetary Fund) demands for government spending cutbacks. The IMF demanded that the Argentinian government instate new policies on social programs, which ended all social assistance, cut back health care, and eliminated welfare, in order to approve the government’s loan application.

After ignoring months of peaceful protests, lobby groups and pressure from all lobby groups and even Pope John Paul II, 80 000 workers took to the streets in a peaceful march with signs declaring that they refused to pay their taxes which had recently jumped from 8 to 22 percent. The next month, 7.2 million people walked away from their jobs in support of a 24-hour general strike. _

When the government stated that they had no choice but to meet the IMF’s demands, and forced large pay cuts of 12 percent or more throughout the country beginning with scientists and teachers, the people rebelled and the country erupted into two days of riots that ended with 16 people dead. The only international news source to cover these events was Air Netherlands, a newspaper/radio station conglomerate that caters to the national air line.

Compare that scenario to the protests that took place in Washington, D.C., on April 16th and 17th of 2000.

Every national newspaper and T.V. station covered the actions taken against the IMF and World Bank, and PBS even created a documentary on the events. The protests in Washington

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