POR en

opinions expressed in this column do not neces-

ily reflect those of the staff of this publication, or 1e Student Union.

n are pigs!

maybe not quite pigs, but defiantly a member of s developed species.

ou ever go to the circus, you will always notice most of the clown are male. This may seem ange to anyone who has never met a man, but for ise of us who know one or two, it is no surprise. are naturally funny.

don’t mean that they tell jokes better, but rather,

y are just funny by nature, or rather should I say fat mens nature is funny. I think the one instrument tmakes men the eternal butt of every chuckle is, urse, THE MALE EGO.

MALE EGO isa funny thing. It forces men to to the ends of the world to finish that certain ject, to win that certain argument, or to beat that tain opponent. Actually, when two mencompete, winner is always the one who has the largerego. is is because men would compete to the death to at each other.

-all know that THE MALE EGO is the reason why akes aman 10 times longer to assemble a childs

OY, or program a VCR. This is due to the fact that HE MALE EGO, with its little voice, tells the man, “Hay, your aman. You don’t need any sissy instruc- #0ns to puta childs toy together.’’

Yow | am not saying men are stupid, that speaks for If, but the fact remains, that the force that drives Male species is THE MALE EGO and the epitomy fTHE MALE EGO, is of course that 2x3 inch box, Mled the TV REMOTE CONTROL. We all know

Mis is true. | think every man carries a spare remote iis back pocket, just in case he is ever ina room

h another man, he has to be prepared.

nk most of us have had the experience where we vere watching TV with a man in the room, Who

dys has the remote control? The man of course! ing every commercial, its CLICK, CLICK,

CLICK. From channel to channel, watching nothing but seeing everything. It’s even worse if you’re using the VCR. Undoubtable the tracking will need fixing every ten minutes. And who will itbe demonstrating there superiority over that simple machine by making that tracking just perfect? The man of course.

The worse situation is when the VCR tracking is located on the remote control. The male can demon- strate his ability without even having to get off the couch. There has never been such an instrument that has been able to sum up THE MALE EGO quite like that little box. It gives the holder the power of god. Total control over every other person in the room. At the slightest whim, he can alter everybody’s life at the sound ofa “‘click’’. That is after all, what the male ego is all about.

Jam not suggesting that we should all hide every remote control we can get our hands on, rather, I think we should just remove the batteries.

After all, what man would notice. Just as long as he thinks the remote will work when he wants it to.

26

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