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TABERNACLE SERMON. “The Marriage Ring.”
‘‘ DUTIES OF WIVES TO HUSBANDS.” Rev. T. DeWitt Talmage, D. D. preached
on Sunday last in the Brooklyn Tabernacle, the seventh of his: series of sermons on “The Marriage Ring,” the subject being ‘* Duties of Wives to Husbands.” Before the sermon,lie read and expounded the last chapter of Proverbs, destriptive of a pru- dent and sepsible wife. Professor Browne reodered on the organ a soccato in D minor iby Bach. The congregation united in singing the hymn :
** Blow, ye, the trumpet! Blow
The gladly solemn sound ; Let all the nations hear To earth’s remotest bound.”
The text was i Samuel xxv., 3: ‘‘ The ‘mame of his wife, Abigail; and she was a ,womam-of goed understanding, and of a 'beantifal countenance.” Following is the | Sermo. ;— | The ground in Carmel is white, not with | fallen Snow, but the wool from the backs of |three thousand sheep, for they are being (sheared. And I hear the grinding of the jiron blades together, and the bleating of the flocks, held betweem the knees of the j shearers while the clipping goes on, and the jrustic laughter of the workmen, Nabal jand his wife Abigail preside over this ‘homestead. David, the warrior, sends a | delegation te apply for aid at this prosper- ous time of sheep-shearing, and Nabal per- | emptorily jeclines his request, -Revenge {is theery. Yonder over the rocks come |David and four hundred angry men with
| i |
folds and vineyards. The regiment march in double quick, and the stones of the mountain loosen and roll down, as the sol- diers strike them with their swift feet, and the ery of the commander is ‘‘ Ferwara ! Forware !”
Abigail, to save her husband and his property, hastens to the foot of the hill. She is armed, not with sword or spear, but with her own beauty and self sacrifice, and when David sees her kneeling at the base of the crag, he cries; ** Held! Hold !” Abigail is the conqueress! One woman in the right mightier than four hundred mon in the wrong! A hurricane stopped at the sight of a water-lilly! -A dew-drop dashed back Niagara! By her prowess and tact she has saved her husband, and saved her home, and put before all ages an illustrious specimen of what a wife can do if she be godly and prudent and self-sacrificing and vigilant and devoted to the interests of her husband, and attractive. ; ' i
As, fipbbeth before last, I took re- sponsibility of telling husbands how they ( ought to treat their wives—and, though I noticed ihat some of them squirmed a little in their pews, they endured it well—l now take the responsibility of telling how wives ought to treat their husbands. I hope your domestic alliance was so happily formed that while married life may have revealed in him some frailties that you did not sus- pect, it has also diaplayed excellencies that more than overbalantéed them I suppose that if I could look into the heart of a hun- dred wives here present and ask them where is the kindest and best man they know of, and they dared speak out, ninoty- nine out of a hundred of them would say : ‘at the other end of this pew.” Thongh sometimes you may have snapped each other up a Jittle quick, I think the most of you areas well paired as any couple of whom I haye read. The wife said to her hus- band : ‘‘I have mace up my mind to. be submissive notwithstanding all the misfor- tunes that have come upon us.” They had lost their children, he had lost his health, and henes, the income of his prosession, and the. wife had temporarily lost her eye- sight. “Yes,” said the husband, ‘‘we ought to be submissive. Let me see what we have to snbmit to. First, we have a home; we cin submit tothat. Then we have each other; we can submit to that. Then wa have food and raiment; we can submit to that. Then we havea great many friends; we can submit to that. We have a Heavenly Father “to provide for us—” “‘Stop | Stop !”’ said the wife, ‘* I will talk no more about submission.”
I hope, my sister, you have married a man as Christian and as well-balanced as that. But even if you were worsted in conjugal bargain, you cannot be worse off than this Abigail in my text. Her husband was coarse and ungrateful, an inebriate, for on the very evening after her - heroic achievement at the © foot of the hill, where she ‘captured a whole regiment with her genial and strategic behavior, she returned home and found her huaband so drunk that she could not tell him the story but had to postpone it until the next day. So, my sister, 1 do not want you to keep saying within yourself as I proceed : ‘‘That is the way to treat a per- fect husband ;” for you are to remember that no wife was ever worse swindled than this Abigail of my text. At the other end of her table sat a mean, selfish, snarling, contemptible sot, and if she could do so well fora dastard, how ought you to do with that princely and splendid man with whom you are to walk the path of life?
First, I eounsel the wife to remember in what a sevére and terrible battle of life her husband is engaged. Whether in profes- sional or commercial or artistic or mechan- ical life, your husband from morning to night, is in a Soliferino if not a Sedan. Tt is a wonder that your husband has any To gota living in this next to the last decade of the nineteenth century is a struggle. If he come home and sit down preoccupied, you ought to excuse him. If he do not feel ‘like going out that night for a walk or | entertainment, remember he has been out
home cheery. But if a man has been be trayed by a business partner, or a customer has jockeyed him out of a large bill of ‘goods, or a protested note has been flung on his desk, or somebody has called him a
—_
morning to night, he must have great
genius) and forgetfulness if he do not bring some of the perplexity home with him. When you tell
him he ought to leave it all at the store or bank or shop, you might as well tell a storm onthe. Atlantic to stay out there and not ‘ouch the coast or ripple the harbor. Remember he is not overworking so. much for himself as he is overworking for you and the children. Itis the effect of his success Or defeat on the homestead that causes him the agitation. The most of wen after forty-five years of age live not for themselves but for their families, They begin to ask themselves anxiously the ques- tion: ‘Now if I should give out, what would become of the folks at home? Would my children ever get their education ? Would my wife have to go’ out in the world to earn bread for herself and the little ones? My eye-sight troubles me, how if my eyes should fail} My head.gets dizzy, how if I should drop under apoplexy! »The high presstre Of business life and mechanical life and agricultural life is home pressure.
Some time ago.'a large’ London firm de- cided that if any of their clerks married on a salary less than £150, that is $750 a year, he should be discharged, the supposition being that the temptation might be too great for misappropriation. The large ma- jority of families in America live by utmost dint of economy, and to be honest and yet meet one’s family expenses is the appalling question that turns the life of tens of thousands of men into martyrdom. . Let the wife of the overborne and exhausted husband remember this, and do not nag him- about that, and say you might as well have no husband, when the fact is that he is dying by inches that the home may be kept up,
I charge also the wife to keep herself as attractive after marriage as-she was before marriage. The reason that so often a man ceases to love his wife is because the wife ceases to be loveable. In many cases what elaboration of toilet before marriage and what recklessness of appearance after,| The most disgusting thing, on earth is a slatternly woman. I mean a woman who never combs her hair until she goes out, or looks like a fright unfil somevedy calls, That a man married to one of the creatures stays at home as. little as pessible is no wonder. It is a wander that such a man does not go on 4 whaling voyage of three year. and in a leaky ship: Costly ward- robes are not required; but, O woman,if you are not willing, by all that ingenuily . of refinement can- effect, to make yourself at- tractive to your husband, you ought not to complain if he seek in other society those pleasant surroundings which you deny him,
Again, I charge you, never talk to others, about the frailties of your husband. Some people have a way, in banter, of elaborately describing to as the shortcomings or unhappy eccentricities of a husband or wife. Ah, the world will find out soon enough all the defects of your companion. No need of your aivertising thém. Botter imitate those women who, having made mistake in affiance, always have a veil to hide imperfections and alleviations of con- duct to mention. We" must admit that there are rare cases where a wife cannot live longer with her husband, and his cruelties and outrages are the precursor of divorce- mont or separation. But until that day comes, keep the awful secret to yourself. Keep it from every being in the universe, except the God to whom you do weil to tell your trouble. Trouble only a few years at most and then you can go upon the other side of the graye and say : ‘* O Lord, I kept the marital secret. Thou knowest how welll kept it, and I thank thee that the release has come at last. Give me some place where I can sit down and rest awhile from the horrors of an embruted earthly alliance, before 1 begin the full raptures of Heaven.” And orders will be sent out to the usher angela saying : ‘‘Take this Abigail right up to the softest seat in the best room of the palace, and let twenty of the bright- est angels wait on her for the next thousand yeor:.”
Further, € charge you let there bs no outside interference with the conjagal re- lation, Neither neighbor nor confidential friend, nor brother. nor sister, nor father or mother, have a right to come in here. The married gossip will come around, and by the hour tell you how she manages her husband, You teil her plainly that if she
you will attead to yours...What damage some people Quit their tonguea! Na- ture indicates that the tongue isa danger- ous thing, by, the fact that itis shut in; first by a barricade of teeth, and then by the door of theJips ‘One insidious talker can keep a whole neighborhood badly stirred up. The Apostle Peter excoriated these busybodies in other people’s matters, and St. Paul, in his letter to the Thessalo- nians and to Timothy, gives them a sharp dig, and the good housewife will be on the lookout for them and never return their calls, and treat them with coldest frigidity. For this reason better keep house as soon as possible. Some people are opposed t
them, but I thank God for what are called flats in these {cities. They put a separ- ate home within the means of nearly all the population. In your married relations you do not need any advice. If you and your husband have not skill enough to get along well alone, with all the advice you can im- port you will get along worse. What you want for your craft on this voyage is plenty of sea room.
I charge you also, make yourself the in- telligent companion of your husband. What with these floods of newspapers and books there is no excuse for the wife’s ignorance either about the present or the past. Ifyouhayeno more than a half hour every day to yourself you may &ll your mind with entertaining and useful knowledge. Let the merchant's wife read up on all mercantile questions and mechanic’s wife on all that pertains to his style of work, and the profesional man’s wife on all the legal or medica! or theo- logical or politica] discussions of the day. It is very stupid for a man, after having
likt and everything has gone wrong from
+ been amid active minds all day, to find his
will attend to the affairs of her household!
wifa without information or opinions on anything. If the wife knows nothing about what is going on in the world, after the tea hour has pacsed, and the husband has read the newspaper, he will have an engage- ment, and must go and seeaman. In nine cases out of ten when a man does not stay at home in the evening,unloss positive duty calla him away, it is because there is nothing to stay for. He would rather talk with his wife than any one else if she could talk as well,
I charge you, my sister, in every way to ‘make your home attractive. I have not enough of practical knowledge about house adornment to know just what makes tho difference, but here is an opulent house, containing all wealth of bric-a-brac, and of musical instrument, and of painting, and of upholstery, and yet there is in.it a chill like Nova Zoembla. Another home, with one- twentieth part of the outlay, and. a small supply,cf art, and cheapest piano purchas- able, and yet, as you enter it, there comes upon body, mind and. soul.a glow of wel- come and satisfied and happy domesticity. The holy art of making the most comfort and brightness out of the means afforded, every wife should study.
At the siege of Argos, Pyrrhus was killed by the tile of a roof thrown by a woman, and Abimelech was slain by a stone that a woman threw from the tower of Thebes, and Earl Montfort was destroyed by a rock discharged at him by a woman from the walls of Toulouse. But without any weapon save that of her cold, cheerless household arrangement, any wife may slay all the atteactions of a home circle. A wife and mother in prospered circumstances and greatly admired, was giving her chief time to Bocial life. The husband spent his evenings away. The son, fifteen years of age, got the same habit, and there was a proepect that the other children as they got old enough would take the same turn. One day the wife aroused to the consideration that she had better save her husband and her boy. Interesting and stirring games were iatroduced into the house. The mother studied up interesting things to tell her ehildren. One morning the son said : “Father, you ought to have been home last night. We hada grand time. Such joily games and such interesting stories.” This went on from night to night, and afler a while the husband stayed in to see what was going on, and ‘he finally got attracted and added something of his own to the evening entertainment ; and the result was that the wife and mother saved her hus- band and saved her boy and saved herself. Was not that an enterprise worth the attention of the greatest woman that ever lived since Abigail at the foot of the rock arrested the four hundred armed warriors.
Do not, my sister, be dizzied and dis- turbed by the talk of those who think the home circle too insignificant for 4» woman’s career, and who want to geb you out on platforms and in conspicuous enterprises. There are women who have a special out- side mission, and do not dare to interpret me as derisive of their important mission. But my opinion is that the woman who can reinforce her. husband in the work of life, and rear her children for positions of use- fulness, is doing more for God and the race and her own happiness, than if she spoke on every great platform aad headed a hundred great enterprises. My mother never made a missionary speech in her life, and at a missionary meeting | doubt whether she could have got eneugh courage to vote aye or nay, but she raised her son John, who has been preaching the Gospel and trans- lating religious literature in Amoy, China, for about forty years. Was not that # bet- ter thing to do?
Compare such an one with one of these die-away, attitudinizing, frivolous, marri coquettes of the modern drawing-room, her Heaven an opera box on the night .of Meyerbeer’s ‘Robert le Diable,” the ten commandments an inconvenience, taking arsenic to improve the complexion, aad her appearance a confused result of belladonna, bieached hair, antimony and mineral acids, unti! one is compelled to discuss her charac- ter and. wonder whether the line between a decent and indecent life is, like the equa- tor, an imaginary line.
What the world wants now is about fift old-fashioned mothers, women who shall realize that the highest, grandest,mightieat institution. on earth is the home. Lt is not neceszary that they shouvid have the same old-time manners of the couatry farm- jhouse, or wear the old fashioned cap and ‘apectacles and apron that her glorified an- lcestry wore; but I mean the old spirit which , began with the Hannahs and the Mother | Lois and the Abigails of Scripture days,and | was demonstrated at the homestead where lsome of us were reared, though the old | house long ago was pulled down and its occu- ‘pants scattered never to meet until in the ‘higher home that awaits the families of the righteous. While there are more good and ‘faithful wives and mothers now than there ever were, society has got a wrong twist on | this subject,and there are influences abroad that would make women believe that their chief sphere is outside instead of inside the | home. | Hence in many households children in- ‘stead of « blessing area nuisance. It is card case versus child’s primer, carriage ‘versus cradle, social popularity versus ‘domestic felicity. Hence infanticide and ante-natal nfurder so common that all the physicians, allopathic, hydropathic, homeo- ‘pathic and eclectic,are crying out in horror, ‘and it is time that the pulpits joined with ‘the medical profession in echoing and re- ‘echoing the thunder of Mount Sinai, which ‘says: ‘‘ Thou shalt not kil!,” and the Book
of Revelation which says: ‘‘All murderers shall have their place in ‘he lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.” And the man or the woman who takes life a minute old will as certainly go etraight to hell as the man or woman who destroys life forty years old, And the wildest, loudest shriek of Judgment Day will be given at the overthrow of those who moved in the high and respected circles of earthly society, yet decreed by their own act as far as they could privately effect it, the extermination of the advanc-
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