_ESe oe Dee SOUR Tene

A NEED CONFESSED,

ROT

=

genator Sorgzhum on Interviewing as

a Fine Art,

«qt's terrible,” said Senator Sorghum gs he looked at the paper, “to see how some of us public men suffer at the hands « f those interviewers!’

At 1 of another base fabricatio!

“J dunno’s it was any fabrication.”

“But t report Wis somewhat gar- pled.”

“No: it) ‘t garbled; not a bit.”

“Do ' ] eg! Aaving ex- pressed Ss attributed to you!

“No: they’re all right.”

“Well, if you admit fnterview and that it

“There’s 3 nt. I don’t know when I have been more disappointed than I was when I took up the paper. There it v just plain talk. Not an epigram in the whole business; not a fashing sally of satire nor a bit of pungent philosophy in the whole thing. It made me sleepy to read it. The man that rviewed me before put all them things in, and folks were talking about it for a week after. But this chap wrote every word down straight-

having given the wasn’t garbled”’— ust the px

s .

forward just as I said it. I tell you, it has t 1¢@ a lessen. I won’t be so

The next time any b nterview me I'll find } out s ng about him beforehand. Tli make dead sure that he under- stands his busi 3 and knows how to garble and do it right.”—Washington Star.

—

Gross Flattery.

a ig) ' , } X Li, SD)

4)

Hippo (reading)—An with kind per- mission of our gentle reader, etc.—New York Journal.

His Assignraent,

“Hello, Griggs! What are you do ing with that valise?’

“I am just starting for Brazil.”

“For Brazil? Isn’t that rather sud- den?’

“Yes, but a newspaper reporter has to be ready for such things. He never knows when or where he is going to be gent till the order comes. “I'd like to talk to you longer, but my train leaves in ten minutes. Goodby.”

“Goodby, old man. Safe journey to you. How long do you expect to be gone?”

“Coming back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? From |3razil?”

“Yes. Brazil, Ind.”--Chicago Trib- phe.

The Run Of.

“Once,” said the dreamy tragedian, “{ toured the great state of Illinois in less than a week.”

“Who was your backer?” inquired the press agent.

“Beg pardon?’

“I say who backed you on this tour

“I really do not grasp your meaning.”

“Who was behind you on this mete orice tour?”

“Oh, the sheriff!’

“99 ‘

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He's a Cuckoo, tory was told recently at a ter given by the alumni of the niversity of Michigan at Chicago. “A young man and his wife, not long :arried.” said the relator of the inci- ‘nt. “lived down on the South Side, vhere they had a pretty little two sto- ‘y brick. One of their wedding pres- ents was a large clock which told the hours and the half hours by means of the cuckoo’s ery instend of by the usual chimes or the sounding of a bell. One night the college fraternity of which the man was a member gave a banquet, and it was accordingly late when he arrived at the front door of his home. He thought thar discretion was the better part of yaior, so that when he got inside he began to remove his shoes before going up the stairs. Unfortunately he was not very happy in his execution of this act, for one of the shoes slipped and made a noise that could be heard all over the bouse, A moment later his wife’s voice came from the head of the stairway. “‘Is that you, Charles? “*Yesh, dear.’ “What time is it, Charles? “<"Rewt 33 “*And then,’ said Charles fn telling the incident afterward, ‘that blamed clock began to cry out. But it cuck ooed only three times, and | had to stand there like a fool and cuckoo the other rine.’”—Detroit Free Press.

How He Spent the Balance,

“No,” said Zeke Perkins as he clean- ed the mud off his felt boots on to the floor, “I ain’t a-kickin a feiler when he’s down, but Ab Simpkins ain’t a-de- servin of charity. You know the dea- con give him a order on the grocery for $1 to help his fambily out on the same day that phonograph feller come to town?”

“Yep,” said the man with the uncub tivated lilacs; “that was all right, wasn't it?’

“Sartinly, sartinly, it was all right. As I said afore, charity’s a good thing. But Ab gdes down to the grocery an buys a half bushel o’ potatoes, sack 0” cornmeai, a hunk o’ side ment an a big chunk o’ tobacker. Then be says to Smith, ‘How mvch does that come to? says he. ‘Seventy-nine cents, says Smith. ‘What more do you want? he says. Ab stood an thought for a long spell. ‘Well, Smith,’ be says, ‘1 dont kpow as we're veedin anything else a-tall. If you can give me the balance in money, it'll be better fer me an bet- ter fer my fambily.’

“Smith gives him the balance, 0’ course, out o’ pure charity, an [ll be doggoned if he didn’t go an spend it to bear the band play ia that phonograph machine!’—Edward Singer in Iodiub- apolis Sun.

In Doubt.

“I’m a little puzzled.” said Senator Sorghum. “The remarks which have reached my ears from that old hench- man of mine have worried me a great deal.”

“But he merely said he did not re- gard you as a political boss.”

“Exactly. Now, what do you think he meant to imply by that; esteem or snsubordinatign?’—Washington Star.

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