By Trent Drake

This week: Clockwise

We're back, B-buffs! The holidays were a lot shorter than we might have wished, but now that we’re back in the swing of things let’s get straight to the movie.

Take one super-punctual and ultra-strict headmaster (school principal, to you). Mix in abad case of mixed directions, add one slightly baked student in her parent’s classic car, gar- nish with monks and enjoy. That’s basically how to make a movie like Clockwise.

Now, I don’t normally review B-grade

After a futile search for A) his wife or B) acab to Norwich, he fortunately finds C) a very nervous student that he catches skipping classes and who (joy of joys) has a car. Off to Norwich without a hitch, then? Not on your life, mate. There’s still a whole obstacle course of delays to overcome, like cows and muddy field and parked police cars and phones that don’t work and on and on and on...

Acting (Or Lack Thereof): Cleese is the movie’s star, and he’s great. As his self- control erodes along with his schedule, he slowly becomes more and more neurotic. He

constantly repeats his

comedies in this column, be-

cause they usually aren’t What makes him speech to try and remem- funny. The bad production . ber it all, but mutates it or mediocre script rob them funny 1S how well he into a truly hilarious piece ofeven unintentional laughs. of Python-esque nonsense. But Clockwise is different. | reacts when set The bit characters are not cansumupwhyintwowords: adrift in a world that so important and I’ve for- John Cleese. Lye gotten their names any-

John Cleese is funny. Appears tO EX1St JUSt how so it doesn’t really

He’s theepitome ofthe stern, cold, deadly serious Brit.

to make him look

matter, but you should keep an eye out for the

What makes him funny is 1 J ¢ four senile old ladies who

how well he reacts when set silly He stays keep roaming through the

adrift in a world that appears serious, and gets scenery in an incoherent

to exist just to make him look haze.

silly: He stays serious, and angry. The Technical Stuff: The one flaw of this movie

getsangry. And this struggle to keep his dignity in the most inane of situa- tions is what makes Clockwise work.

Cleese plays Headmaster Stimpson, a man with a passion for time. Every moment of his life is plotted out to the second. He knows each of his students by name, seems almost psychically tuned to catch disobedience, and has absolutely no sense of humour whatso- ever. Right from the word go, you know he’s in for it.

Stimpson has the most important meet- ing of his life today. He’s going to be sworn in as chairman of an influential group of head- masters. He wants to arrive in Norwich at precisely three o’clock to greet everyone be- fore his speech at five. But despite his uncanny knack for time, he has no sense of direction and when he goes to the station, he gets on the wrong train. Too late, he realizes the train pulling out across the station is his... and he’s just missed it. Running like he has a stoat in his drawers, he misses his wife as she pulls away from the station to run errands. Then it’s offto the races again, because he’s left his all- important speech on the wrong train. And he misses that one too.

January 17,1995

is how cheap it looks. It looks more like a 1970’s TV movie than a 1986 feature. The colours are faded, the audio occasionally hard to makes out and there’s no polish to the presentation. It may move with Swiss preci- sion, but it looks like a Mickey Mouse watch.

Stuff To Watch For: Too much to go into here... the plot is so intricate that you can’t quote from it without noting everything that came before.

The Bottom Line: Once you get past the cheap look and feel of the movie and get sucked into the clockwork plot, you have a tremendous amount of fun. Besides, it’s got John Cleese! This neat little movie is one of the true rarities of cinema: a good B-comedy.

Next Week: Hold on to that big, furry lug as tight as you can, cause we’re gonna trip out on anime! My Neighbour Totoro! Black Magic M-66! Fire Tripper! More Japanese cartoons that you shouldn’t watch on any form of substance!

Available at: Off The Wall Video, Richmond Street, across from the Confedera- tion Center.

Nintendo and the’ Next Generation.

By Trevor Cuthbertson

Some of you (well, very few of you) might know me from the ‘‘Dimension X’’ show on CIMN every Tuesday night. I was going to submit an article that on my all time Top 7 albums. But since I am a big nut on video games and there's plenty of hype going around about these so called ‘‘New Generation’’ sys- tems, it seems impossible to know which one will be the best of them, and more importantly, the best value for your money. So here's a guide to all the new game systems.

‘*Super Space Harrier’’. The asking price is $197.98. : EB One would think Sega would want to rest on its laurels and let this new system develop. Guess again. Sega’s planning on releasing ANOTHER new system called the Saturn sometime next year. This system will feature state-of-the-art technology and home version of ‘‘Virtua Fighter’’ and ‘“Daytona Racing’’. Will Sega abandon the 32X for the Saturn? Wait and see!

And there are more new contenders on the way! Nintendo is

Let’sstart things

off with the 3DO by Panasonic. 3DO got off to a very bad start when it was released last year. The system price was very high, and only two games were available. But over time, the system price has dropped (though not by much) and the soft- ware library has begun to grow. Now popular titlessuchas ‘‘Doom’’, ‘*Super Wing Com- mander’’, and ‘‘Samu- rai Showdown’’ are available. But even the reduced system price, $499.95, is still too

Another scenario,.sees. a whole ton of neat new games being re- leased... for every system except the one you bought. You end up out several hun- dred dollars:for a use- less system and you look like a fool.

getting ready for their new system, the Ultra- 64, which we won’t see until fall of next year. This system is rumoured to be fast and powerful, but we’ll have to wait to see if the games live up to the technology (though ‘‘Killer In- stinct’’ looks pretty cool). Sony will soon unveil their own system, the Playstation. This system doesn’t look too bad (it doesn’t have the technical hype that the Ultra-64 or the Saturn have). Itdoes has a very promising line of

steep for my wallet.

titles planned, but again,

Another new contender in the video game market is the Atari Jaguar. Finally, Atari is looking ahead instead of recycling long dead 2600 games. The Jaguar has good software, like ‘“Tempest 2000”’ (the system’s current hit), ‘‘Kasumi Ninja’’ (a game in the "Mortal Kombat" vein), and the cool-looking ‘* Aliens vs. Predator’. Unfortunately, the rest of the Jaguar library is pretty mediocre. The current price for the system is $299.95. It isn’t sold anywhere on the Island.

A system that has sort of kept quiet since its release last year is the CD-I by Phillips. While there are game program available, it’s really more of an interactive machine than a video game system (it plays information\educational cds, specially de- signed movies, regular CDs and so on). Among the games available are ‘‘7th Guest’’, an adap- tation of the arcade smash ‘‘Mad Dog McCree’’, and the classic interactive cartoon ‘*Dragon’s Lair’’. But the game library is really pretty small. While the machine is versatile, at a price of $389.00, it’s not for the hard-core gamer.

And then there’s the 32X upgrade for the Sega Genesis. This system add-on has potential, especially for those Genesis owners who want to upgrade without changing sys- tems. The game line-up sounds impressive: ‘*Virtua Racing Deluxe’’, ‘‘Star Wars’’, and

we'll just have to wait. One game really | looking forward to is "Toshiden".

Anyway, atthe moment your best bet is to keep playing your Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo. Right now it’s too early to tell who’ll come out on top. Yes, there is a good chance one or two of these systems could quickly corner the marke (remember how quickly the Turbographx-16 bit the dust once Sega snatched up all the lucrative third party developers?), but you’ll be happier if you wait until these systems become established and have larger libraries. Then you can go downto your local video store and rent whatever game you want. Also, look for the system you that is best for you. Does it have your favourite titles? Can you afford to switch to a new system?. Be very careful. The system you buy in haste today for $500 might drop to $250 within months. Another scenario sees a whole ton of neat new games being released... for every system except the one you bought. You end up out several hundred dollars for a useless system and you look like a fool.

I’mnot saying these new systemsaren’t worth a good look, but you shouldn’t commit to any of them just yet. Just wait a year, maybe two, until we know who the winners are. Right now there’s a lot of smoke on the ‘‘New Generation’’ battlefield. Wait until the smoke clears to make your move.

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