DEiithStyles

By Guess, who . arid my economy size can of

H6110, “W 56817 mellng , Smellerama. Scary stuff. Abuse a bitddy today; go for it. This is really deteriorating

This is just too sick for the into the smut here. Smut, beach. We tossed around who said smut?'Ha, I knew some ideas for Deathstyles, that’d perk a few of you up. and we tossed out this win- ner: I was going to review _for you lucky, fervent and faithful readers of my byline the top ten funeral parlors in Charlottetown.

But, alas, we decided that would be too totally tacky, even for ‘me. Stop pouting and scuffing your shoe on the! ground, alright already.

Nobody around here seems to have a calendar with an indication of the next full moon, but rest} assured there is one coming.

You can pick up your Dracula, glow-in-the—dark teeth at Expressions in the Charlottetown Mall.

All vampires and batty people meet at the corner of Queen and Grafton next Wednesday night, and give staid ole Charlietown a night to remember. Boo, hiss,~ aarroooooooooo.

Guess what? There’s a movie due to arrive in town any time now. It’s called “Terror in Dark Places”, I think. I couldn’t here the preview on TV too well from . under the couch.

It’s supposedly the scariest clips from the scariest movies ever made, Iakno I’m going to enjoy it, sitting in the front row with mv 3-D glasses

Our Friend Ron

A POETIC POLITICAL SAT.’ "3 - By Robert Bodrog-Goodland HE VOWS TO BE THE ARSENAL OF DEMO- CRACY, MESS WITH US AND YOU WILL SEE, WE‘RE NOT GONNA BE ANYONE’S PAWN AS LONG AS WE RETAIN OUR GOOD FRIEND RON.

WE’LL KICK ASS BAD IN CENTRAL AMERICA, WE’LL PLANT OUR MISSLES IN BAVARIA;

THE USA. WILL ALWAYS BE STRONG

IF WE RE-ELECT OUR GOOD FRIEND RON.

OUR GOOD FRIEND RON, HE’S STILL FIT,

HE WON’T TAKE NO SOVIET SHIT;

HE’S A GOOD GUY, HE’LL SAVE FACE,

AND SOON WE’LL HAVE LOTSA WEAPONS IN SPACE; . ' I A I ‘

SO WHY NOT KEEP THE OLD MAN ON? .

THE FREE WORLD NEEDS OUR GOOD FRIEND RON.

IF HE WEARS MAKE-UP, I DON’T CARE,

EVEN EINSTEIN GELLED HIS HAIR:

AND IF IN PUBLIC HE SHOULD YAWN,

DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT —— THAT’S JUST RON.

HE’S GOT GUTS, HE’S THE MAN, IF HE CAN’T DO THE JOB, NO ONE CAN; HE WON’T BE ANYONE’S PAWN, , HE’ AMERICA’S GOOD FRIEND RON.

Michael Jackson impression voice. that line, I fell off my dino-

‘I‘I really don’t know what

‘ «

I’m going to do my applause, just throw money. think Ofasuitable Comeback Haven’t you heard? Peopl: _ “Oh, come on," exclaims wait, I’ve got it: “Oh are just dying to get in. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist [he

(think high-pitched Ron. “The last time I heard Yeah???” Next year’s column will greatest groaner of saur.” I include an in-depth report on recorded historym

Gee whiz, this is all in my Charlottetown’s hottest night

to say,” Please, hold your imagination, and I can’t life — the cemetaries. 0n sucking, brothers.

UPEI students ponder life. (Photo: MacLeod, 84)

\

\ “Mu” “J

‘M\ l

Hallowe’en

T’was the night of Halloween and all through the old house 9,; , 3 Every ghost was stirrring, trying to scare a mouse ‘ ’7'" The grinning Jack-o-Lanterns were placed on the mantle with care 1 @ng / 7 ,

I had that a ghost would give me a scare.

Little goblins were nestled all snug in their graves While visions of spooks awaited them in caves And there I stood shivering in my night cap Anticipating catching a long needed nap

At that moment something said BOO! !! And under the sheets, in I flew

Then all of a sudden came roars of laughter So loud and sharp it shook the rafters

MMNM\‘“M

Okay guys, you got me there My humiliation filled the air The spectre pranksters had a good laugh

Untilwe meet again, keep