eee © HP Business Society Page OCT. 89

BUSINESS | SOCIETY J O ke

Joke ee [TO

Joke

One day Charlie went to the ; co

supermarket to buy some brains.

ZONE |

There were Engineers’ Brains for $100/lb, Bio’s Brains for $20/lbs, and Business Brains for $15/Ib.

Charlie asked the clerk “Why are the engineers’ brains so ex- pensive?”

The Clerk replied “Do you know how many engineer stu- dents it takes to make a pound of Brains?”

Dear Auntie Pius

Dear Auntie Pius,

I always seem to be attracted to guys with girlfriends. The guys usually will cheat by going out with me. It really hurts to see the guy with his girlfriend after being with me. How can I stop?!?!

— The Depressed Mistress.

Dear Mistress,

Unless these guys will give you a “yes” or “no” answer about breaking up wih their girlfriends, and then dating you, stay the hell away from them! Better yet, just stay away from them, stupid!! God some women can be dumb.

Auntie P.

Dear Auntie Pius,

I have just been heartbroken by a guy who lied to me. I can’t sleep, eat or party! I see him all the time and it kills me. He even has a car I love. Should I take him bacck or just stay miserable?!

—Miserable at University

Dear Miserable,

Tell the guy to piss off! If he lied to you, forget him. He is certainly trouble. And don’t worry about his car, because it only shows how spinny and shallow you are!!Wake up, no-brains!!

Auntie P.

Dear Auntie Pius,

This guy I know always calls me names like “Lush Bag” and “S__” J am neither of these. What did { de to make him do this?! Is he serious or just kidding?

—Stressed about names .

Dear Stressed,

Let’s do a survey! This should really turn on the marketing students! (losers!)

1) Are you drunk or drinking all the time? 2) Do you love hanovers? 3) Have you done everyone on campus?

If all three are “yes” then you probably are what he says you are. Just face up to it, swamp thing!!!

Auntie P.

=== Page 9 Thursday, October oe 1989