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ness around him sucks you into his shoes. You can feel the same wonder as Colwyn. Unfortu- nately, Colwyn also has a really dumb grin, almost as bad as Reb Brown’s in Yor: Hunter From The Future. Ona more technical note, the final battle has Colwyn losing the Glaive but suddenly gaining the power to shoot fifty-foot long jets of flame from his fingertips. How does he gain this wonderful ability? He gets married in the heat of battle (pun intended). Imagine if someone walked up to you and said, ‘‘Quick, marry me! I need a flamethrower!’’ This movie is beautiful yet corny, like a cockroach encased in diamond. The previously mentioned special effects really do look stun- ning. The Glaive is a beautiful and deadly piece of equipment. The group’s official moron, Ergo the Magnificent, transforms into various ani- mals using a primitive but effective morphing

"The whole damn movie is worth watching

for."

technique that reminds one of T2. The costumes and makeup are above reproach, from the Beast to the Slayers to the cyclops, who has one expressive eye.

But all the special effects in the world can’t explain the movie’s sillier moments, like when a large group of Slayers attack the heroes Using laser beams...and the heroes fend them off using only axes and swords!

Stuff to Watch For: Everything I men- tioned above, and more, like the realistic Crys- ‘al Spider. Even Robocop 2 can’t match it for teal-looking stop motion effects. The range of ‘xpressions used for the cyclops’ one eye. The destruction of the Beast (which is really cheesy, but the subsequent collapse of his castle is hothing short of spectacular). Any scene with Ergo in it. The Slayers, who all look like Darth Vader. The castle interiors. The whole damn ovie is worth watching for.

Judgement: Rent it and watch it once. '€ cheesy acting and dumb plot combined th such stellar sets, music and effects create World that is charming, enticing, enjoyable ( thoroughly engrossing, in a weird sort of “y. It even has a few surprises, like the fact Al, despite the title, there are no donuts in this °vie. But remember to watch it only once, as doesn’t stand up to repeated viewing. Rated ©13 for its frightening scenes.

Next Week: death and Cheetos in feudal — as I review the worst samurai movie ever,

°gun Assassin. Sayonara! @

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