guy fill it out for you, and make cor- rections. Just make sure they know that you’re extremely happy to be back in Canada, and that it’s the best country in the world.

So this form will be done as soon as you get off the plane and wait in a long line-up. You will only have your carry-on, and your noticeably over-filled duty free bag. Try to hide its fullness. Be nice. They’ll ask about cheese, meat, booze, and smokes. Just play it cool, and the guy will stamp your customs card and hand it back to you, and send you to pick up your lug- gage.

You will only have your carry-on, and your noticeably over-filled duty free bag. Try to hide _its fullness.

Go pick up your luggage up from the conveyer belt, and by now you should have a full blown drunk hangover, caused by a change in

atmospheric pressure and oxygen con- centration. You will be in extreme pain, and it will show. Drag your lug- gage, pant, sweat, drool, praise Canada, and be sure to show your extreme confusion. And claim your flight is in 45 minutes, and if you’re called on it, just say you have no fuck- ing idea what time zone you’re in. A drunk hangover is when you’re still loaded, but have a horrible hangover.

Place your luggage on the table, and they’ll ask you to

open it. This is when you need to be scared.

Drag yourself to luggage search and fumble around for the sheet the customs agent gave you. Place your luggage on the table, and they’Il ask you to open it. This is when you need to be scared. But just stand there with a stupid blank look on your face.

They have X-ray machines here, but I .

didn’t see them in use. They have dogs

Come Join Us at The Smuggler’s Jug Pub for...

STEAK & STEIN MONDAYS T-Bone steak & stein for $8.99.

TRAVELLERS’ TUESDAYS

| Complimentary finger foods. Come and meet other travellers!

WING NIGHT WEDNESDAYS

Just 45¢ per wing.

Confederation Inn & Suites

Trans Canada Highway Charlottetown, PEI (902) 892-2481

STUDENT NIGHT THURSDAYS

Flat bread pizzas 1/2 price with student ID.

FANTASTIC FRIDAYS

Join us at 8:00pm for trivia with “Doc”. Great beverage and munchie specials — great prizes!

See you at The Jug!

there, too. The guy stuck his hand down the back of my suitcase until he hit the bottom, reached his hand for- ward a bit, and then gave a slight pull upward. He looked at what was writ- ten on my passport control card, and asked if I had 150 cigarettes. I said yes. He said “I guess you smoked a few,” and pointed me to the door. He didn’t check my carry-on or look in my duty free bag, which I had kept out of sight. Once you clear this you’re home free.

I shocked myself with the obscene amount of contraband I got into Canada. I had packed with the intent of getting most of my stuff seized, yet that never occurred. Trying to smuggle is well worth the risk, and

there is nothing better than walking _

through customs with a bag full of stuff that isn’t supposed to get through. However, presently I’m

struggling through litres and litres of sickening hard liquor and hundreds and hundreds of disgustingly strong cigars. The sad thing is, I know I could have gotten twice as much across. Next time.

Presently I’m struggling through litres and litres of

sickening hard liquor and hundreds and hundreds of disgustingly strong cigars. The sad thing is, | know | could have gotten twice as much across.

oO" PTS)

BROADEN YOUR MIND, Summer Language Bursary Program

Interested in travelling and learning a second language? Apply for a bursary and enjoy a five-week intensive immersion course. Sessions are offered in the spring and summer at many educational institutions across Canada.

Official-Language Monitor Program

Looking for work experience? Become an Official-language monitor. Work part-time while you are a postsecondary student or full-time in another part of Canada if you are a recent graduate. You will gain valuable work experience in the classroom and become a cultural ambassador.

How to apply Apply on-line at www.cmec.ca/olp/, or call 1-877-866-4242.

Ces renseignements sont également disponibles en frangais.

Conseil des ministres de Education (Canada) Council of Mnisters of Education, Canada

EXPERIENCE CANADA

Patrimoine Canadian canadien Heritage

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