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Mark Twain's Apology.

Mark Twain was recently at 2 dia- ner of the Stanley Club in Paris, and being exlled upon for a speech, in thus reported by the Continental Gazette. :—

“ Mr. Ryan said to me just now that I'd got to make a speech. I said to Mr. Ryan, ‘ The news came too iate to save Roger McPherson.’ It is sad to know that some things come too late, and when | look around upon this brilliant assembly I feel disappointed to think what a nice speech I might have made, what fine topics | might have found in Paris to speak about among these historic monuments, the architectuer of Paris, the tower of Notre Dame, the caves and other ancient things. Then I might have said something about the objects of which Paris folks are fond— literature, art, medicine, (then taking a eard trom his vest pocket as if to take a glance at his notes) and adultery. But the news came too lute to save Roger McPherson. Perhaps you are not as well acquainted with McPherson as I am? Well I'll explain who McPherson was. When we sailed from New York there came aboard a man all haggard —a mere skeleton, on the voyage we often heard him say to himself: ‘The news came too late to save McPhreson.’ I got interested, and wanted to know about the man,sol asked him who was McPherson, an he said, ‘ [ am Mc- Pherson; but the news came too late to save Roger McPherson.’ How much too late ? I asked. ‘ About three weeks too late,’ he replied. ‘I'll tell you how it happened. <A friend of mine died and they told me I must take his body on the cars to his parent’s in Illinois. I said i'd do it, and they gave me a card with the address and told me to go down to the depot and put it on the box I’d find there, have the box put in the baggage car, and go right along with it to Illinois. I found the box all right, and nailed the card on it, and then I went into the depot and got a sandwich. I was walking around, eat- ing my sandwich, and I passed by the baggage-room, and there was my box with a young man looking at it, and he had a card in his hand. I felt like going up to the young man, and say- ing, ‘ Stranger: that’s my corpse.’ But I didn’t. Iwalked on, ate my sand- wich, and when I looked in again the young man was gone; but there was that card right on that box. I went and looked on that card. It was di- rected to Col. Jenkins, Cleveland, Ohio. So I looked in the car and there was my box all right. Just before the train started a man came into the baggage car and laid a lot of limberger cheese down on my box; he didn’t know what was in my box, you iknow, and I didn’t mow what was in his paper, but I found out later. It was an awful cold night, and after we sturtedthe baggage- master came in. So he shut all the doors and all the windows, built a rousing coal fire in the stove ; then he took turn’s fixing the car and poking the fire till I began to smell something and feel uncomfortable, so I moved as far away from the corpse as I could and Johnston says to me, ‘ A friend of yours? Didhe die lately ? This year I mean.’ Says I, ‘ Ill fix it; so I open- ed a window, and we took turns breath- ing the fresh air. We stopped ata station, and when we started off again, Johnson came in with a bottle of dis- infector, and says, ‘ I’ve got something now that'll fix it. So he sprinkled it all round, over the box, the limberger and everything ; but it wouldn’t do, the smell didn’t mix ‘well. Johnston said,‘ Just think of it. We have all got to die, all got to come to this.

Then we thought we’d move the box to one end of the car: so we stooped over it: I took one end and he took the other, but we couldn’t get it far. John- son says, ‘ We'll freeze to death if we stay outon the platform, well die if we stay in here.’ So we took hold of it again ; but Johnson, he conidn’t stand it, he fell right over. I dragged him outon the platform aod the cold air soon brought him to, and we went in the car to get warm. ‘What are we going to do? asked Johnson, and he looked ill. ‘We are sure to have typhoid fever and a half a dozen other fevers. We're pizened, we are!’ At last we thought it was better to go out on the platform. In an hour and a half I was taken off that platform stiff, nearly frozen to death. They put me in bed, and I had all them feve-s that Johnson spoke about. You che thing worked on my mind. i at do me no good to learn, three wee'ss after, that there had been a mistake— that my corpse had gone to Colonel Jenkins, Cleveland, and that I'd taken his box of rifles for decent burial to Illinois. The news came too late to save Roger McPherson — about three weeks too late’. Amid roars of applause Mr. Twain closed by saying, ‘ When I am not prepared to speak I always apologise, and that’s the reason I told you so much about Roger McPherson.’

ee ees House and Bedding Plants for Sale at the Conservatory, Euston street, until ist of August.—2i tuts

‘And all other Ledditig Blank Book Stock.

a o a __ = Fo- - mw hl a

M

|

in

f, HERBERT HASZARD

Has now in stock all kinds of

STATIONERY !

-SLCH AS

invelopes, Note Paper, Letter Paper, Blotting Paper,

Foolscap & Pott Papers.|

CARTER’S & STEPHEN'S CELEBRATED RED & BLACK

Writing & Copying Inks.

MOURNING STATIONERY, In Court Shaped Envelopes,

Note Paper, Memorial Cards, LADIES’ AND GENTS’

VISITING CARDS!

(NEATLY PRINTED) &c.

RELIEF STAMPING.

Purchasers can have their Station- ery Stamped with

CREST, MONOGRAM, INITIAL, LETTER or ADDRESS

In any Color, at a smalladvance on Cost.

LAW STATIONERY,

OF EVERY DESCRIPTION.

LAW BLANKS,

OF THE NEW AND APPROVED FORMS, VIZ: Morigages, Frechoild & Lease- hold Deeds, Long & Short Form, Leases and As- signment of Leases. Bills

of Sale, &e., &e.

BLANK BOOKS

Made te Order, Ruled and Printed to any Pattern.

INOW IN STOCK

~~

Journal

Day Books, MINUTE BOOKS. SHWOOH YWAILLAI

Uv ‘syoog seg ‘819 Spe]

=

BOOK-BINDING!

Having now the most complete Book Bindery inthis Province, and first-class workmen,‘I am now prepared to do all classes of

BOOK-BINDING

AT PRICES TO SUIT THE TIMES, IN

Morocco, Calf and Roan,

WITH GILT OR MARBLE EDGES.

G. Herbert Haszard,

i8 QUEEN STREET,

(near Water St.)

June 21, 1879.

a

—_io—_——

GO TO

IIMS = Siar

STANDARD DRY

GOODS STORE

to replenish your Stock of

AND

Table Linens,

Napkins, Towels, Towelings, Counterpanes, Bed Tickings, Sheetings,

—AND-.-

COTTON GOODS

OF EVERY DISCRIPTION.

onl, omen

Special attention is solicited to our Stock of

DRESS ‘GOODS!

BEAUTIFUL FABRICS IN

Kilegant Designs & Low Prices,

BARGAINS IN

Black Silks & Cashmeres, TRIMMINGS,

OF ALL KINDS,

Fringes, Buttons, Velvets,

ALSO, A FINE STOCK OF

LACES, FRILLINGS, TIES, &c.

We are head-quarters for

Gloves & Hosiery,

| and have some very choice

Goods in addition to the most popular makes & prices.

'

ENGLISE,

American, & Canadian Corsets

- AT THE LOWEST PRICES.

Carpets & dil Cloths

| RUCS & MATS.

New Goods by every Steamer.

ee

'

GIVE USA CALL,

ee sect:

879.

Ee ana Aa

|

73,620 M0

SINGER SEWING MACHINES

THAN IN ANY PREVIOUS YEAR. In 1870 we sold 127,833 Sewing Machines. ©1878 ** ** 356,432 : -

Our sales have increased enormously every year, through the whole period of ‘* hard times.”

We now Sell Three-Quarters ef all the Sewing Machines Sold in

the World.

eer

Waste no Money on ‘cheap Counterfeits.

ga Send for handsome Illustrated Price List. ROBERT YOUNG,

South Side Queen Square, Sole Agent for P. KE. Island.

Ch’town, March 18, 1878—2aw tf

STHRAMER |

cases)

“Heather Belle.

Summer Arrangement, 1879.

‘TILL leave Charlottetown for Orwell every MONDAY and WEDNESDAY

evenings.

Leave Orwell for Charlottetown every

TUESDAY and THURSDAY mornings, at 7

o'clock

Leave Charlottetown for Orwell same even-

ing at 3 o'clock.

Returning from Orwell to Charlottetown

saine evening, arriving at Charlottetown abou

8.30 o'clock.

Leave Charlottetown for Mount Stewart

every WEDNESCAY and FRIDAY mornings

at 4 o'clock.

Leave Mount Stewart for Charlottetown at

7 o'clock,

Leave Charlottetown for Mount Stewart

same evenings at from 2 to°3 o'clock, accord-

ing to tide, returning to Charlottetown same

evenings,

Leave Charlottetown ‘for Crapaud every

SATURDAY, weather and tide permitting,

and every alternate Saturday will make a re-

turn trip.’ ‘

All goods should be prepaid at Charlotte-

town, othérwise they will be stored/at their

destination at the risk and ‘expense of the

owners; se&ae JOHN HUGHES, Agent. Ch'town, April 30, 1879—3m law

- CATARRE. Constitutional Catarrh Remedy

CURES CATARRH.

Hear what a Reverend Gentleman says .of the Constitutional Remn.edy.

—

T. J. B. Harpine, Esq., Brockville, Out. :—

DEAR Sir—It is now two years since-your ‘“‘Censtitutional Catarrh Remedy’ was intro- duced to me. I have waited this ong to see if the eyre would remain permanent before do- ing this, my duty, to you, as at first the happy effects seemed to me to be “‘too good to be true.” I was afflicted in my head for years before I suspected it to be Catarrh. In reading in your Circular I saw my case described in many par- ticulars. The inward ‘‘drop” from the head had become very disagreeable, and a choking sensation often preventing me from lying long, I would feel like smothering and be compelled to sit up in the bed. My health and spirits were seriously affected. When your agent came to Walkertown in August, 1876, I secured three bottles. Before I had used a quarter of the contents of one bottle I found decided re- lief, and when I had used two bottles and a third, I quit taking it, feeling quite cured of that ailment, and have not used any since until of late I have taken some for a cold in my head,

A sense of duty to sufferers from that Joath- some disease, Catarrh, prompts me to send you this Certificate, unsolicited, with leave to make what use of it yon may see proper Yours truly,

W. TINDALL, Methodist Minister. Port Elgin, Ont., Aug. 24, 1878. —

Ask for Littlefield’s Constitutional Catarrh Remedy and take no other.

T. J. B. Harprne, Dominion Agent, Brock- ville, Ont.

For sale by all Druggists at only one Dollar per bottle.

BUY IT. . . = « «| TRY IT.

GRAY’S SPECIFIC MEDICINE The Great TRAE mark.

<<, English Rem- f Aedy, an unfail- a. SG img cure for Sem-

Ze inal Weakness, Spermatorr ahe a, A ee and ,

SNF all diseases that =Sag5- Before Takingfollow as a se- After Taki quence of self-abuse; as loss of - Uni. versal Lassitude, Pain in the Heck Dine of Vision, Premature Old Age, and many other Diseases that lead to Insanity or Con- sumption. a. Full particulars in’ our pam> phiet, which we desire to send free by mail to every one. gn The Specific Medicine is sold by all druggfsts at $l per package, or six pack- ages for $5, or will be sent free, by mail, on recespt of the money, by addressing

The Gra Pedic cure Ps ’ oronto, ty '

N. B,—The demands of our remy necessitated our removing to Toronto, to which place please address ail future communi- cations.

## Sold in Charlottetown by a i and by all wholesale and retail, Orme z the United States and C

January 24, 1879.

Fe ed te lng . ar

To Inventors and Mechanics,

ec

i

ee ee Saletan eee

Prince Edwatd Island RAILWAY.

TIME TABLE NO. 12. Summer Arrangemeut.

ON AND AFTER

TUESDAY, MAY 27th, 1879. TRAINS GOING WEST.

No. 5. No. 7, Mixed. Mixed.

\Nos. 1 & 3, Express.

— |

STATIONS.

Georget'n..|Dp. 7. 10am| Dp. 3.45pm Cardigan. . ay as ore i Mt Stwt Jel, 8.40 ‘cc Dp.6.00 as : Royalty Jel * 9.38 “| “7.18 “

|Ar.9.55 ** |Ar.7.40 ** Ch’town .

"| Dp. 6. 20am | Dp10.05am| Dp. 5.25pm Rovalty Jc! “6.37 “ Arl0,25 ‘‘ yal yvec 5 “ee 5.47 sé

Dp0.30 “ NWiltsh’re| ‘ 7.13 ‘ ** 8.40 *

“se 11.40 am 73 6.57 se Breadalb’n| “* 7.53 “| “12.23pm! * 7.35 « C’ty Line. .| * 8.00 *

“19.34 ‘*!) ** 7.45 * Kensingt’n 66 $98 «6

sé 1.16 sé “é 8.25 as . 5.» | Ap, §.65. ** | Ar, 1.50 ‘* |Ar. 9.00 ‘ S'mm'rside|}y,,.9.10 «« |Dp.2.25.* Wellingt’n| Ar. 9.48 ‘* | ** 3.20 ‘*!

Port Hill. .| ** 10.20 **| ‘* 4.07 “*, O’Leary...| 1117 “| “5.31 Alberton. .| ‘ 12.00pmj ‘* 6.40 **

Tignish ...j ‘* 12.40 “* |Ar. 7.40pm cA "TRAINS GOING EAST.

on.. 6 Dp.7.45 sé \ O’Leary...| “ 6.41 “| ** 8.54 * Port Hill..| ‘* 7.38 ** | ‘10.20 * Wellingten| <* 8,09 ‘|. ‘1108 ~ |

5 29 |Ar. 8.45 ‘ |Arl2,05pm S’mm’rside Dp.5.30—pm| Dp}2.40 ** |Dp.9.05.am

Kensingt’n| ‘* 5.52 **| ‘* 1.16 “| ** 941 *

C’ty Line..| ‘‘ 6.24 ‘*| ‘* 155 **| ‘0.20. *

Breedal’ne.| ** 6.3) ‘| ‘* 2.05 “| ‘10.31 *

Hunter R’r} ‘* 6.57 ‘*; ‘* 2.44 **1 “11.07 **

NWiltsh’re} “* 7.12 **; ** 301 /**! 28,25 « “ae

Royalty Jc] ‘* 7.49 “* Daas oo | “12.18pm

Ar. 8.05 ‘* :Ar.4.15 ** Arl2.40 *

Ch’‘town .. aaa

Dp.4.30 pm} Dp.6.50 am Royalty Je} ‘* 4.49 “* a —_— a Ar, 5,45 “* . 8.30 * M. Stw’tJe Dp.6.00 “ 'Dp.8.50 ‘* Cardigan. .| ** 7.03 **| **10.16 * Geo’town..|Ar.7.25 ** |Arl0.45 **

— 7 ye me SOURIS BRANCH. 2, Trains Going West.

— eee,

STATIONS. \No. 9 Express|No. 1] Mixed.

Souris......... Dp. 6.15 a, m.{Dp. 2.50 p. m. Harmony...... "2a a 313) St. fer eat Sd was * ge Morell .. . “«°7.63 «© 1 5.00 *

Mt. S'tw't Jnc,-|Ar, 825 “ [Ar. 5.40 p.m. Trains Going East, |No. 10Express|No. 12, Mixed

STATIONS.

Mt. S’tw’t June.|Dp. 5.55 p. m.|Dp. 8.45 a. m.

Morell......... oo ee ist ett ORR &

St. Peter’s...... etic .1 oo ee im

ee ee PL ? BA pa | Ww

Souris, ....-...-. |Ar.3.05 “ |Ar1L35 “

ALEX. MACNAB,

Sup’t and Engineer.

Railway Office, Chtown, May 22, 1879. —pat pres h ane sp sj kea 6i

MAIL NOTICE.

AILS for Great Britain will be closed at 10 o'clock, p. m., on THURSDAY in each week, to be forwarded via Rimouski, and also on MONDAY, the 9th and 28rd June, at 4 o'clock, a. m., to be forwarded ria Halifax. /

Mails to be forwarded via Sunimerside and

‘| Shediac and also for all places on the ronte ¢o

Summerside and in Prince County, will be closed daily at 5.30 o'clock, a. m., also for Summerside direct, at 5 p. m. Mails to be forwarded via Steamers to Pictou will be closed every MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY and SATUR. DAY, at 5 o’clock, a. m, Mails for Georgetown and Souris East, and all places on those routes, will be closed daily at 6 o'clock, a. m. Post Office open from 8, a.m., till 9, p. m., A, A. MACDONALD, Postmaster. Post Office Charlottetown, } May 27th, 1879. j

Steam Navigation Go, Steamers MAY, 1879.

NTIL FURTHER NOTICE the Steam- ers **St. Lawrence” and * Prin- cess of Wales” will leave as under :—

Siiasesied NOVA SCOTIA. rom ottetown to Pictou, every MON - DAY, WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY and SATURDAY mornings, at five o’clock.

Returning from Pictou every TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY and SATURDAY, on arrival of morning train from ifax.

FOR CANADA AND UNITED STATES.

Leave Summerside for Point Du Chene EVERY DAY- about 9a. m., on arrival of morning train from Charlottetown.

ae te Summerside EVERY NOON, on arrival of morning train from St. John,

By order, - - W. Charlottetown, May 6, 1879. MOLES,

\Picture Frames & Moulding.

, of Boek tee Teceipt of: _, GILMORE, SMITH & CO., Solicitors of Patents, Washington, D.C,

ATENTS and how to obtain them. Bamph

LL the Modern Wwe Best Woilasanshign-Proctpaiy aulhreted:

JOHNTNEWSON.

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