me a: millionaire . I

i 1 3

howcimnmad

by Henry Dapuncdan All my life I wanted to be .rich Everything I did was towards that goal. As a child -I sold smuggled milk to babies.

While in grade school, I sold

gum scrapers to tie teachers (it is the secret wish of all teachers to have tl'e neatest classroom in the school) . My sumersvere’ kept quite full forming an amalgamation of corporations. These enter- prises aided me in my goal to be a nullicnaire, but still left ne far short of that magic seven digit umber. 1

While resolVing early in life to beccue filthy rich, I also decided an ’ education was necessary so I could takemy rightful position among the elite. That is where UPEI entered the picture. Because I ' wanted a first—rate , educatim, I went to a first-rate university. AS a matter of fact, in _‘ most journals, UPEI is ranked not mly as a

first rate university,

. ﬁn ﬁt...

but, as'the very, yes, the very best university in the entire province. There is one aspect of my personality that ‘I have neglected to nenticn thus far.) I love music, all music: rock and roll,’pop, " easy-listening, and at tines, I can even tolerate disco (please don't gasp). ,With new albums selling for $8.98 apiece, it isn't hard to see how this love of music could stand in the way of my becoming a millionaire.

That's when my room- mate (I live in residence, of course. It's cheaper, Do you have any idea what gas is selling for mu?) told ne about CINN. He told me that tl'ey play the best music twenty-four hours a day. When ire said that, I just sort of looked at him real funny-like. "I wasn't , sure if m was an under- cover radio recruiter or if he had just swallowed CIMI promo. 'Ihen 1e said, "Henry, you are an intelli-

\ gent person" (I noticed

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‘. I was handed a crisp one

his sanity was returning) "why .not listen for your— self and make your own decision". I still wasn't quitesure. Tten came his argument clincher. “It's free... I'll let you listen on‘my radio. "

I~ncw listen to CIlVN continuously. But all my worldly ramblings may have distracted you from the reason I am here in tie first“ place - to tell you hm CINN made ne a millionaire. Before I went to visit CINN's studio (11 the fourth floor of Main Building,

,7 I decked my bank account. 'Ihere was a balance of $999,999. ,I approached the perple at the radio station and told them that for one dollar

'i I would write this week's

advertisement for the'SE. 'Ihey accepted on the spot, saying it would be well worth it to get rid of ‘ that bother. (don't take the wrong interpretation from that) . Right tiere, in tle main lobby of CHIN,

, floor Main.

" i ' :2 m, i THE UPEi_SUN Thursd ,-February 28, 1; page 5

THE PRODUCT or A SIMN STATION MANAGER'S FANTASY

dolla'r bill and becane Canada's newest millionaire.

I f you doubt the validity of any of my statements,

;you can check with the people > at CIMN. Call them at

892-8980, or better yet, pay tl'em a Visit on fourth, They'll tell you exactly the sane story I just told you. . . Well almost the sane.

.Monday/ l§:$fudent "Nigh’i '

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Tiuesday- y-t Rock Night SPECIAh PRICES BOTH NIGHTS; 'SotUrdoy lilo 7 Gong Show ACTS-wELcoMs — CASH PRIZES AWARDED HAPPY-HOUR DAILY 11 - 8

STEAKHOUSE

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