I slept well last light. It's good to leep well: often the oay depends on how well on sleep. I feel good. Iad a nice breakfast, and I'm looking forward to a good day of study, for that's what I always do on Saturday.

After breakfast I relax with a cigarette and a cup of tea — and 'then to the university, }for that's where I study 9"we're going shopping today, Stan," I hear my mother say. with one Lsentence she wiped out ;my whole morning, for I Ihate to shop. If only she would shop when she Idoes shop, but not my ‘mother7 she must go through the entire K- ‘Mart department store {before she can settle ldown to buying her igroceries which are in fa separate department jaltogether. I cannot gunderstand women shop— fpers. Why can't they jgo and buy what they lneed, and then leave :No! It's somehow a ‘special occasion during which time they lose their heads as they wan- der from one item to the next, feeling, touching, grabbing, comparing and so on.

‘ Finally, we get to the grocery department. I must hurry her here for, if she dilly- dallies here like she did in the department store, I may never get to the University?— ‘Thank God! She se 5 how I feel (Which is beginning to show),

and gets serious.

' There is so much of everything, everywhere- stacked to the ceiling. No matter what you want it is there - in abuné‘ :dance. There is soft jmusic playing - they ;want you to relax - lget you in a shopping (buying) mood. Howﬂgr clever of them. But they also appeal to your gullibility by piling goods as high as the ceiling, which makes you react with a ihealthy "I won't!" and [50, you grab. Don't be !surprised if you buy {more than you intended, for they have clever jdevices for the unwary.

There are many peo— ple in the store, push— ing grocery carts piled high with items — the victims. But it shows they have healthy poc- ketbooks. How nice. Our shopping cart,

too, is full, for I

can feel the strain of its load - for that is my job when we go shopping - to push the cart. She fills the cart as fast as she can

while I follow'behind wondering what she will do when the cart is full: because I know that is the only rea- son she ceases to shop - because the cart is full! The people at K-Mart would sell a lot more food if they had bigger carts.

There are people in the store whom I know. I don't want to meet

them. What would I say to them? "Hello?" "Nice day, eh?" No!

I hate superficial conversation. I hate that situation when you're trapped in the encounter and ﬂmust say something." But, why? I know them! "Yes, but you know them in certain sit- uations in which you know how to interact with them: but when you encounter them in an unusual environment an unusual situation, you no.longer know

how, becauSe the sit— uation is different." "You see, you learn how to interact accord- ing to certain situation, Like those in the cl- assroom, the coffee shoppe, etc., but when a new situation pre— sents itself without

a prescribed pattern for behavior, you are le t to your own re- sources, which implies responsibility to act appropriately. If you cannot act of your own accord, and do so res- ponsibly-that is, if you always depend upon on external prespective source-you will become anxious: consequently, to evade the situational encounter with another so therefore, you envade the person."

So, I direct my mot- her and the food cart down on the aisle away from those I know. I hate anxiety!

we are now at the last leg of our shop-. ping tour: we're at the fruit and vegetable de— partment. There's a section at the bottom of the cart which must be filled, and so, mot— her proceeds to fill it while I steal a grape to avenge these capitalists who bow to your wallet while scheming how to wrench that extra buck from it.

There are many people in this area -- all with full' carts. But wait! There is something not right here. There is a person not like the rest. An old woman. But that is not the difference, because as I look around me ,

I see three other old women . Wait! we all

ave u carts, but she does not even have a cart she has an arm basket with two items: She's old her hair is gray and unkept: her clothes are old, cheap, and do not match: her pirse is dirty and torn: Why: she's...she's...poor1 So, that's the differ— ence here. But her face, her face, is not cruel, theres no revenge there, why, she looks almost... hapPY- I must watch her,

I have a reason. "Don't go away, old woman! Wait! Where are you going?" She's going over to the manager's office window. I wonder what she's~going there for? Somehow,

I know why she went there. "Oh Godl" "Please, please don't let her go there

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you do to me? It is not my fault: I was minding my own business VIf you don't leave, I'll have to hit the food clerk or somebody: Leave: Leave.. O.K. 1f'y5u won't, I will!" "I'm sorry old wo- man, I'm sorry you're

on : II "An Eggsggatbiiaihat one!"y poor' Im ferry You're "I couldn't stand it if not happy' At #he Chg d.d " .out we proudly display You 1 ‘ our enormous purchase.

I was right she did.

In her hand she has a narrow, white slip of paper-a food voucher: She's coming back. "What shall I do?" Act non— chalont: yeah, thats what to do. Don't give. yourself away. Stay where you can watch though. But don't let her see you:

The food clerk weighs some bananas for her. Now, this is when it shall happen. Sheﬂpresents _him with the voucher he asks her to sign it. Slowly she forms her fingers about the pen he gave her: she glances. about her to see who's looking. She mustn't see me staring. I pretend to look else— where, but quickly glance back at her. She writes slowly, in big letters, her name.

I must listen very - carefully, for she may say something: it's not the words I care to hear, but that all important tone in her voice. I wait in fear. Per aps I should leave now". "No! I will wait."

She speaks.

Was that fear? Was

it defeat? Or, was

it despair? Yes, it was all those. I can— not contain myself any longer....

"Look. old woman, it is not my fault!"

"I did not make you P002?! 1,,d9nil_e\@n_know you! Besides, why dld you come here? Don't you know what youVe done? You‘re the odd one here, not us! we all have full carts, and I everything was fine until you came." "But you, but. you show yourself for what you are- poor: "Dno't you know what

we are not poor, see - not anymore! Out of the corner of my eye, I see the ol woman at the counter With the sign that real "6 items or less." She had three items. Her voucher would not allow her to approach any of those ceiling high piles and grab what she wanted to, like us. Unlike us, she could not buy butter, only margarine. we can buy anything we see, but not her, for she's not allowed any un- necessary items. I

wanted the face of the girl at the check—out

counter where the old woman was. She did nm have the respect for the old woman that our check-out girl had for us. we were payino ' customers. The old wo' was a drain on every- one else's wallet, in- cluding the check-out girls. She was un- worthy of respect.

She was treated acc- ordingly. But it

is not my fault.

you

Stan Dalton

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