Good idea. You write much better than I.

Ido.

You know despite all my posturing I have such awe for your work. I am incredibly jealous.

There, there. Stop crying.

Okay wait, this is actually me now. The Editor. 100%. (0)

Good to have you back. I want to list off some things about my column Seat Sale.

Jesus, no, we are here to introduce the issue at hand. The one I put all the goddam work into. All those people up there, the one’s I said I love, they didn’t do shit. All me. Yeah. It just hit me, this thing we are doing here, its like a play. We should read it to people, we should have a reading of all this work. Maybe we will. Get Eyes For Telescopes(1) to play.

But, this issue, the one you [the reader] are holding in your hands, reminds me of an

idea I had all of the time I was here. Onel |

was never brave enough to actually do. What about Seat Sale? Travel cuts? Huh?

Jesus, this paper is doomed. Anyway the idea was that I would get every person on campus to write one paragraph on the sub- ject of their choosing. Publish them all. So that every person-the janitors, the security people, the woman who puts "Trash the Cadre" signs on the walls-could say one clear thing. Could be heard. What I want- ed most of all was for the campus to all pick up the paper and read their own words, in their own publication. Community. Yeah, yeah. You know what I really wanted to do in this introduction spectacular was to chart out expected enjoyment of this issue. Tell you which poems were good and which ones were bad. Point fingers, name names. Reveal savage plots against us all. And go on and on.

Hey why don’t you, I’d love to hear it. Everything you say is art.

Nah, how’s about you and I just make a list. A list you post-modern, its-all-in-the- title word-pimp. Maybe a line would help. Separate off this back and forth from the serious introduction to feliwe follow. I will present three choices. You may choose the line you prefer:

Now you just have to choose which line you perfer prefer. (Damn. I say instead of a spell checker we just cross out the mis- takes.(2) Let everyone see the staggering amount of errors one makes during this process. Break the fourth wall. Hey Jeff, you call it the fourth wall right?

Ah..yes, Jesus don't you know anything. I though the back and forth was dead. (3)

It is, but only with you, I am talking to Jeff now.)

Now, let me make that introductory list. Is that what you want sir?

Yes. Here is the line indicating a shift in tone, format, and subject matter.

I would prefer the second line. Okay, hey is that Jeff now?

Just me now. That's the way it feels some- times. Until I remember all those good people. And it helps, of course, to omit the times when you thought seriously about backing those good people over with your car.

I don’t think your car would survive that kind of abuse.

Ha ha. It’s the flipside of being interested in people: wanting to smack them upside the head. Or something.

- an interlude in which I attempt to beat my co-editorializer with a anti-carpal-tunnel-syn-

drome-handrest-for-keyboards -

Next year is looming large in the horizon

though. I’m curious to see what it looks like from the vantage point of the throne of the Editor. To see for those many miles and survey the landscape as it dissolves into the image of a Risk board. And I own it all! All of it! You hear me?

I am going to miss The Cadre.

You told me less than two months ago that you "hated The Cadre"?

Yes, but, really it wasn't the band I hated, it was their fans. Where they played. The league. Plus I was feeling old and slow. Man we should really get to introducing the thing. it would be so predictable, so McSweeeney’s-esque of us, not to actually introduce it. To do an anti-introduction would be so lame. Think of what Mike would say.

So now you are going to miss The Cadre? Yeah, but the introduction!

Only one more issue left.

Yes, but...

Been nice?

Yeah, real nice. All my good people. (4)

(0) I have never seen the Editor more than 85% present in any time or place.

(1) The ubiquitous Eyes For Telescopes promo.

(2) This process has been implemented retroactively.

(3) You probably don’t know which voice is speaking, do you? Ha ha. Try and follow us into these indulgent depths with your unsure, clumsy feet.

(4) I can’t believe my last line didn't make it. Matthew had to have his GD footnotes. No matter, I am still The Editor for a week or so, so my last words stand: Quoth the | Raven, ’ Yeah, real nice.’