Turkey Dinner

This Week: Warriors of the Wastelands and Warlords of the 21st Century

That’s right, fellow B movie fans! In order to make up for issing last week’s issue (due to an embarrassing computer rash) I’m reviewing two of the best in rotten cinema. The pics in question are almost mirror images of each other.

Warriors of the Wastelands is about a reluctant hero ina ost-apocalyptic war zone fighting to save a group of pil- rims from a group of murderous fanatics called the emplars. On the other hand, Warlords of the 21st Century is bout a reluctant hero living ina post-apocalyptic war zone ighting to save acommune from a group of ex-military unatics under one Colonel Sherman. See how different they

s one of those movies that’s so had the credi ho played what role. That’s okay, because ant to know...

lot goes as written above with few minor co he hero in question is Skorpion, an ex-Temp ound in the ugliest car ever made for film. ‘ ant to kill Skorpion for the crime of leaving ey’re at it they want to kill everybody else | ving. Why? Because their leader, One, belié uman alive shares responsibility for the nuc iped out the world and someone (read: the Templars) hia ill them for it. In an effort to avoid a plot hole, One also lieves that the Templars can’t kill themselves until cy’ ve done away with everyone else. Too bad they didn’t tice all the other plot holes lying around...

fcourse, Skorpion’s not alone. His allies include Nadir, a & black guy with explosive arrowheads and an obsession ith being the strongest man alive; a nameless girl with a markably rigid broken arm; and the Kid, a halfpint genius

0 keeps the Uglymobile running smoothly while shooting ople with a slingshot.

€ acting might be awful, but you really can’t tell because dubbing is worse than a Bruce Lee movie. The sets are lly cheap looking, made of plywood and tin roofing. The | stars of the show are those awe-inspiring vehicles: dir’s futuristic electric dune buggy (which sounds like a Squito with a head cold) and the horribly beweaponed mplarmobiles (golf carts with spiked bumpers and methrowers under the hood).

Sement: As bad as they get, but not without its moments. © acting sucks, but the script itself is full of hooks, one- rs and situations that may make you spurt beer from

T nose. It drops dead for about fifteen minutes in the

dle, but after that it pick up steam on its way to a really

b climax. Scenes to watch for: the ear stuck in the

“euesa pirl (Annie Mcbnroe) from Colonel Sherman:

radiator; the head that rockets skyward after Nadir shoots the guy in the neck; and Skorpion dressed in what looks like Clint Eastwood’s costume from 4 Fistful of Dollars. Rated R for the ridiculous, badly filmed violence. Laugh your head off.

Warlords of the 21st Century isn’t nearly as funny, but it’s far more interesting. It was filmed in New Zealand (right across the sea from where they made those great Mad Max movies!). The acting’s believable, with one notable excep- tion. And the vehicles look kind of cool as opposed to being completely silly. The one drawback is the familiar plot.

The movie opens with a smoky sky. We hear a babble of radio voices telling us how the world ended. I won’ t tell you what happened (that would ruin the whole atmosphere of the movie) but I will give you a couple hints: it wasn’t the bomb, and it might still happen...

‘goons Hunter takes her to a commune where she hopes to escape Sherman forever. No such luck. Sherman and the Battletruck track her down there and kidnap her. Again. Hunter is forced into the role of vengeful hero to get her back by destroying the Colonel.

Actually, it’s a little more complex than that, but you’ll have to rent it to find out why. This is a rarity in the car war genre: atruly good movie. It’s only overshadowed by the fact that Road Warrior did exactly the same plot two years earlier. Mel Gibson similarities aside, this is one heavy movie. It’s fast-paced and action-packed (it has to be), but it’s also thoughtful and sometimes eerily deep. The only real weak point in the cast is Ms. McEnroe. She delivers most of her lines in the most annoying whiny voice I’ve ever heard.

Judgement: Entertaining and dark. Not as grim or as grimy as the Mad Max films, probably because of it’s no-nukes apocalypse, but still pretty desolate and ominous. Stuff to watch for: Colonel Sherman’s Battletruck, a truly imposing piece of machinery; creative solutions to the fuel shortage; Hunter driving the Love Bug from hell; and the Battletruck driving through some buildings in a very realistic demolition scene. Rated A for adult accompaniment, but still pretty violent for fans of big kabooms.

Trent Drake

PEI X-P RESS

October 8, 1992

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