The One-Tonne Challenge

By Sandra Edmi: Reporter

The scraping of shovels on packed ice, snow scenes straight out of Currier and Ives, people donning mittens and hats....these can only be one sign: spring has sprung on PEI. However, not everyone is looking at the change of sea- sons as another reason to complain about the weather, but instead as a chance to change it, or at least as a chance to start preventing harmful changes.

The PEI Climate Change Hub, in partnership with Eco-Net, is promoting the One-Tonne Challenge, which commenced Friday, March 26. One-Tonne is a gov- ernment program asking each Canadian citizen to lower their greenhouse gas emis- sions by one-tonne throughout the follow- ing year.

The Challenge is a response to the Kyoto Accord, an international agreement to support sustainable agriculture, enhance energy efficiency, and reduce greenhouse gas emission. Canada is hoping to reduce its carbon emissions by 20% by 2012.

One-Tonne outlines several sim- ple steps to help lower personal fossil fuel usage. These ideas include biking and walking more, maintaining vehicles to ensure efficiency, idling vehicles less, planting trees, line-drying laundry as opposed to using a drier, turning the ther- mostat down, and turn off lights and com- puters when not in use. Other ideas, ones that might seem less feasible for the aver- age college student but still important to note and encourage in others consist of buying green power (such as wind), pur- chasing Energy Star appliances, and retro- fitting homes to increase efficiency.

Climate change is a change in the average weather experienced in specific regions, including such factors as wind pat- terns and precipitation. Greenhouse gases effect climate by trapping heat in the atmosphere, causing global warming.

PEI is one of the most vulnerable provinces with regard to climate change. Its low topography, open coastline, and easily erodible soils would be severely impacted by storms and storm surges, a result of increased sea levels and warmer temperatures. The temperature is expected to rise 3-5 degrees Celsius over the next 100 years in the Atlantic provinces. The sea is predicted to rise 5 cm every decade over the next 100 years as well. All of these changes affect air quality, threaten fragile ecosystems (the loss of 10-15 % of the world’s species over-the next 25 years!), impact agriculture and aquiculture...the list goes on.

A similar plan of action to the One-Tonne Challenge is targeting college campuses. The Climate Campaign is a col- laboration of colleges and universities across the northeast (both Canadian and American). Their goal is to unite college environmental groups in order to have a larger impact on campuses. A national day of action is scheduled for April 1, asking campuses to pay strict attention to their energy usage.

As we await the actual changing of winter to spring, let us as a university see what we can do to ensure that those seasons change naturally, without such harmful human impacts as global warming. Turn off your computer when you’re not using it, turn off lights (in your room or in buildings around campus even), as the weather warms up walk instead of drive. Let’s hold each other accountable and see what positive impacts we can make.

Useless TV & Movies Facts

The 1997 Jack Nicholson film - "As Good As It Gets", is known in

China as "Mr. Cat Poop".

Television horse Mr. Ed was foaled in 1949 in El Monte, California. Mr. Ed's original name was Bamboo Harvester. He was raised as a parade and show horse before getting casted for the television show and being on the front cover of The Cadre.

(Note: The following article con- tains textual descriptions of nudity. If this offends you, please do not continue reading, and do not look at yourself while bathing or show- ering.) .

Excuse me, but do you find it to be increasingly warm in this area?

Perhaps it is just me.

As I was saying, the pos- terior region of the female closest to me in proximity has been sway- ing rhythmically. In an effort to dis- play my masculinity, I have been trying to be coy and wait for the proper moment to display my fabu- lous wealth in an effort to seduce said nubile creature.

The tales I will tell you will involve my luxurious apartment on the highest reaches of a high rise build- ing, with no exaggerations or deceptions. When I believe that I have won your favor in a chival- rous manner, I will then lead you gracefully onto the dance floor, and kindly ask you to perform the

actions as requested by the maestro of the evening. The spirit of the night has infected me; I feel an intense desire to be with you.

Yes, I do believe that the temperature is increasing in my general area. Perhaps it would be a good idea to shed some vestments. It is so very warm that I wish I was, in fact, wearing nothing at all!

If these wooing attempts should fail, I would then use a dif- ferent approach. I would pepper you with analogies, metaphors, and logical solutions: since you are in a modern-day discotheque, you obvi- ously must enjoy consuming alco- hol. To be in a licensed establish-

UPEI Cadre March 29, 2004 page 16

ment and not partake in the con- sumption of inebriating liquids is akin to owning an imported motor- car and driving it very slowly!

Gracious, the things I could do in said motor-car. I find my internal temperature rising by merely think- ing of said adventures. In fact, I may have to remove my designer undershirt to reduce the convection I am encountering. I would also encourage you to do the same, and prance about in the manner you would if, in fact, you had no audi- ence save your closest associates.

Again, I find that the augmentation of the warmth in my person has caused me great dis- comfort. I may need to remove my sweater-vest to alleviate the condi- tion. I encourage you to do the same, if you feel so comfortable as to do so, since excess perspiration can be unseemly in social situa- tions.

Should these advances fail, I would take one, final, direct route. I would make explicit refer- ences to various gymnastic appa- rati, and coyly include some dou- ble-entendres. These puns will, of course, be denied, since I am not a gentleman who gives in to such urges. I will once again state my greatness, since I have powerful and influential friends, and by association i am desirable to the opposite sex.

Ultimately, I find that the humidity in this location to be unacceptable. To maintain a com- fortable body temperature, I must now remove not only my sweater- vest, but also my britches as well. Should you also wish to do so, I would heartily approve.