JANUARY 2. 1941

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A New ‘ Year’s Eve Proposal

By L. G. Redmond Howard

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(By L. G. REDMOND HOWARD)

Just my luck. There was New yws Day coming round again, and I'm blessed if one of those mis- erable germs hadn't taken it into its silly head to have its honey- moon in the back of my throat of all thioats and. apparently, had de- cided to settle down there for “llfe," even if it means the "death" of me. Just the week, too, as it happens, I'd planned to be up and doing. and propose to the sweetest girl in the world in that most irresistible “set- tiiig" -the Chelsea Arts Bail at the Albert Hall.

I had my special act off by heart Din words that would really have "melted asbestos," but started in a spirit of banter in a kind of coin- poiition between us for the ‘nest New Year's resolution for the both or us —when in s " . Laryngitis," the villain of the piece, with another rotter in the shape o; a peremptory order to give up my room for arrears of rent. Now, in hopes and ambitions, I was a "millionaire of optimism"- but, in wild cash, without the price even nf the tickets but the blacker the prospect looked as I stared up at the white ceiling of my sick bed, tlic more I had that tantalising fooling that clouds would break in tlic coming yeiir.

l was staying at the time in one of those Bayswatcr boaring houses, described as a. “Home from Home," where a kind of bargain-basement group of guests try in keep up out- ward appearances —tili something turns up. I was lust awaiting the nccepiiflllce of my first novel.

Amy, for that was HER name, said she was certain it would make my fortune, bless her. Her Christ- mas card stared down at me frmn the niantlepiece propped up by a collar stud, when suddenly, as I SIiITBd at this strange pair of art- icles. the door flew open and a hczici appeared. It was that of a vcry well, though only half dressed young man (the latent guest, I sup- pose), who at once apologised for the intrusion.

“Sorry, old man —thought it was my rcom . . . ." and then his eye rcsted upon my collar stud, and then wandered back to my bedside where lay a bottle of liquid murder. as far as "germs" were concerned.

“Please don't apologise." I replied. "You look worried though. Is there aiivliing I can do?"

‘Golly. you can lend me your col- lnr siud. old man. I've got to get into glad rags. and all that kind of tirlii. . . . .don't you know. I've s Rolls Royce outside waiting . . ."

"About the only thing I can do for you. Take it." I replied, and I saw him give a glance round the room. spotting my tie.

“GCsll, the old school tie —you ivercnt there. too? Remember the French master? I was only a kid —- ycird iiot remember me, ‘Jones’ -- biit I know your face."

'l‘iic iicxt moment we were deep in old memories. He remembered me st once when I remined him of my mime mid saidI was always paint- ing at school. He recognized my touch as he saw a. couple of land- scapes of mine.

"I must have those," he said in- slsiciuiy". "Name your price. Fifteen giiiiieas? I can afford it, old chap. No-—rio-—don't lower your price for friendships sake."

Herc was a friend indeed-and I told him of my taldn up writ- ing —my new novel —an , of course the Christmas card, and its sender, whose photo viias in the little silver frame beside it.

"As a matter of fact," I said. "if only I can get over this throat in time I wanted to take Amy to the Albert Hall Ball . . . for the New Your . . . ." and with greater schoolboy confidence, I added: "I intend to pop the question that niiiht."

"Now, i.‘na.t's funny . . -why, I'm joining Lord Wi-ancaslers party there . . . . Having a box . . . if you'll have a. couple of seats with us, you're more than wel- come."

Never again would I hear s word against the old school tie . . . . . Already my throat. felt better — my heart throbbing with hopes, ss hc said going off with my stud:

"Lteave everything to me. It won't cost you a penny piece. and I'll run you out. in the car -though whe- thcr it will be the blue one or the 81W. I haven't decided yet. So long!" and he vanished like s flash to complete his dressing.

Instantly I popped out of bed and pccped out. Sure enough, there was the most wonderful Rolls Royce I'd ever seen, complete with chauffeur in livery, so I waited till it "honked" itself off. then called in one of my fellow guests to make enquiries.

"Oh -Jones—iiew guest. He isn't half cutitng a dash downstairs. Joy rides night and day-every time in a Ryolls-qsc we've called him Rolls Royce Jones. Just coin-c into a for- time —4*lown from Hiizicmero. He inherits some #00000 or more

- . . . " he explained.

"I was at school with him —at lciist he says so —but. you know, he was only a. ikd -so I wouldn't

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y x . . SILENT SCREEN STAR DIES A, . r th ‘I l

screiiiiif‘ wiggling; “ripper-cite,

dulph Valentino and other film Nils If iii..- d2)’, is dead In Los

Ihgrlcs at the age of M. She died‘

crmrzraiii-c puvrriy after 111"“ i": from 1'1: screen with a will!“ fortune.

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"member. but he's very kind."

And the Zuest replied: "Good for you. He's the very soul of gen- erosity."

l O O O

All night ions I rehearsed my unique idea for a proposal in mg shape of a. New Year's resolution, and had it "pat" by the morning

At first I thought I'd write to Amy inviting her to the ball, but on second thoughts I decided to make the invitation a surprise and set Jones to run me out in the car . . . as he had promised; and of course, it would impress Amy's parents, living in a. fine country house out l-lurlingham way. Did he fall in with the idea? I should iii-Y so _i.he young sport . . . . and after a day's “gargh-ig" the dread Terms," I guess must have done a quiet move," for I felt as fit as n. fiddle . . . .and out we rolled in the pearl-grey Roy“, u. rlviniz lust in time for tea with Amys mother. Army. unfortunately, was out at the School of Drama- tic Art, her mother explained, say- ing she would be sorry to have missed me: so then I explained the surprise I had in mind.

‘Would she accept an invitation to join Lord Wrancasterls party for the Chelsea Arts New Year Ball?"

Jones had a chat on the ‘phone direct, in the meanwhile confirm- ing the invitation , _ . you know what mothers are!

As it happened Amy had just got a. lovely new dress, her mother told me, as "Queen Victoria" at the time she came to the throne . . . Shed probably look "stunning" . . . . and, as time was short, and Jones said he was dining that might with the Wrancasters . . . we left it as settled. I was to call for Amy on the night of the ball, in the car . . . .and I went back Ellxfliillgy feeling "accepted" by the

"My dear Jones, how will I ever be able "to show you my gratitude . . - .7 I kept saying a.ll the way back, and parted with my picture as only a slisht token of my ap- preciation. O O O O

Came New Year's Eve, and by way of contrast, and economy. I Pull 011 my "$199-$119" $085. and was ready waiting hours before the time ~like the Rolls Royces -of which there were two, not one, outside since tea time.

I didn't like to t;ike advantage of the obvious courtesy of taking one as arranged to pick up Amy without his leave, and the minutes passed like ages but I did not W011i’. thinking probably young "Jones" would bounce in at the last moment, when a mesage cane up through one of the chauffeurs "B9881!!! my pardon, but could I 81W him any idea when Mr

Jones———,' but. I cut him short,

I! Youre been told to wait, carry out Mr. Jones’ orders," and he bowed himself out apolcgieticaliy.

A miuute later the ugly daughters of the house, also in fancy dress. burst in all emotion and com- motion.

Would I come down to the draw. inzroom?

I went clown and found trait-a- dozen of the "bargain" guests also ready to loin the party, which 1 thousht carrying "generosity" a on too far . . . but I kept this thought t0 myself: Amy and I could “cui." them.

Then one of the guests, more sceptical than polite, wld how Jones had borrowed fifteen shillings for petrol -an amount which was promptly followed by another - that Jones had borrowed her nort- able typewriter. That again was

Clipped" by an outburst from an apoplectic colonel. He declared ne had given Jones an order to ieil his car for him at Sevenoaks, Where it was stored. There was an iin. mediate declaration of "panic" — which I decided to put a stci) to, and said Id phone up the Wran- casters.

I did. "Was young Jones there . . . .we were all ready for the party —should we go right on to the Albert Hall or to His Iiordshiifs first?" .

A majestic bulter's voice suggest- ed "wrong niunber ‘H-“some nugun- derstanding, and finally the word "impossible"

My heart stopped beating as, pressing for an explanation. I heard His Lordship was at a dinner party with Her badyship at the French Embassy. neither being dancing people. As to his son (Jones had told me he was at Oxford with him), the heir was still at prep icthool, with only his name down for

on

Like a fool, I Nfllséd to give my name-then, after having put down the receiver, I reported to the as- tonished boarders. who thought ii was a. case of Scotland Yard. The thought evidently struck the Rolls {Royce chauffeurs when they receiv- ed a very equivocal answer to their enquiries, they suddenly made off.

My thoughts went straight to Amy. Surely he could iiot have gone there on his own. Oh, there must be some mistake —some terrible mistake; I tried to get through on the ‘phone, but failed.

Bo I borrowed a pound from the colonel and promised to go over to see the Wrancasters, and if not to clear up the mystery, give them the facts —it somebody was using their name in this fashion. I got into a taxi. dashed across the park, drew up outside Wi-ancaster House, a palatial edifice in its own grounds in Knightsbridge, where, to my surprise, I found the butler already on the doorstep, as if expecting

me.

"Would you come in and wait," he said, as I explained my mission "Those were His Itordships ord- ers."

I was ushered into a beautiful smokingroom, given . . whisky and soda. handed a cigar and left ai-ine, "looked in."

I was staggered, but I thought it better to pretend I had not hcard the double click as the key turned in the lock I had not been there ten minutes before. after distant sounds of ‘phoning, two "heavy- footed" detectives were ushered in.

Meadowbank Concert

The Meadowbank §chool concert was held on Friday, December 20 in Meadowbank School with a large number present. The school was prettlly decorated for the occasion. The secretary, Mr. George Boyle presided and the following program was presented.

Chorus, There'li Always Be An England. —School.

Welcome, Shirley Jewell.

Christmas Wishes -I"ive pupils.

Recitation-Norma MacFadyen.

Recitation. Norman MacPhail.

Solo. Charlie Was a Sailor-Nor-

Scott. Diéilogue, Christmas Disappoint-

men . Recitation, Merwyn Scott. Duet, Away in a. Manger -Mrs. S. Drake and Teacher. Monologue, Ohristmas Acknow- ledgments-Pauline Maclean. Solo, You Are My Sunshine — Merwyn Scott. Tableau, Christmas Stocking — Parker Jewell. Recitation, Howard Murray. Dialogue, Irish Philosophy. Solo. Where Do We G0 From Here —Roland Hyde. Solo. Heck Says It. Recitation-Parker Jewell. Monologue, Digestin’ the paper-Lawson Drake. Recitation-Iennis Maclladyen. Solo, Lloyd Scott. lllllialogue, Christmas Wants Sup- e .

Recitation, Lorraine Glow.

Chorus, Ring Merry Bells-School.

Ferewelk-Audrey MacPhail.

Instrumental music by Hector and Lloyd Scott was heartily applauded at intervals in the program.

After the program there was a drawing for a lovely fruit cake, in aid of the Red Cross. the lucky win- ner being Wendell Horton. There was also a, drawing for a door prize won by Mrs. Roland Jewell.

Jolly old Santa arrived and pre- sented the gifts from a well load- ed tree. The teacher received a beautiful pair of house slippers and stockings from her pupils.

After singing God Save The King the crowd dispersed.

HOWE-

ever, rather than that on their faces, which struck terror into my soul.

“Possibly His Lordship may not want to charge. but he seems to answer the description."

This, Just as the New Year was being run in! My heart was fit to break. I could never hope, try as I would, to explain all this to Amy. much less to her parents.

i O t U

Happy New Year, indeed .I felt in my pockets. I still had the fare to the ‘Thames Embankment, when just then in came "l-lis Lordship and Her Ladyship," the later like oversize mannequin using diamond bullets, her eyes flashing like a cou- ple oi’ searchlights.

I rose and bowed apologetically. I must not forget I am a gentleman, but quite forgetting I was dressed in the most perfect disguise of a Paris "flpRCh9"—thflt I thought would win first prize at the Albert Hall Bail.

"Allez-Cochon- Prison," said the American heiress, wife of the Noble Peer . . . fresh from the French Embassy and anxious to appear a linguist. Being able to speak French from childhood this gave me my chance and I addressed Lord Wran- caster. a typical old “Diplomat?

"If-Madame la Comtesse- had any secret-i. possibly she woiud be better advised not to French, which I understand per- fectiy."

The touch of sarcasm, combined with perfect politeness. seemed to tickle I-lis Iiordships sense of hum- our, and he dismissed his irate 5P0use to her room, saying he would deal with the "situation" himself.

For this I thanked him profusely, and left alone, he pressed for my explanation of the cock and bull story, which seemed to have reach- ed him from Scotland Yard.

“My Lord," I said, “I only beg for one thing—for God's sake spare me the ignominy of the police courts —it would bring sorroiv to 1113c for whom I would lay down my

9 - . . ."

I suppose I must have been hysterical I certanly felt it —with the Joybelis all round crying out as if in cynical triumph. "A Happy New Year."

No-a thousand noes —all the happy year I should ever know would be the "pas-t year"—oi me- moi-y.

The old peer relaxed. I-Ie put up his eyeglass and I felt like a worm under the microscope-the fat man under the "X" rays. I knew it would be impossible to deceive him. even if I had tried. Might as well make a clean breast of it —o fool such as I had made of myself could possibly be a criminal. So I told him my story . . . without hiding a single detail, while he gazed on in silence . . . or such sil- ence as the New Year joys, echo- ing all round, allowed.

"If you don't believe me," I pleaded in desperation, “just ring up the lady's father -—a well-known Australian K. C. —liimself a Prince of Hosts. Ask him if he knows ‘Reddy’ (my nickname out at Hur- lingham). Then. if you are sat-is- fied . make some excuse for me —say the party is off I've had a nervous breakdown . . anything you like."

The moment I mentioned the name of Amy's father he smiled, for, as it chanced, they were apparently known to each other . . . and I felt. myself going red hot with sheer shame as I listened to the dis- jointed conversation.

Is there anything in the world more provoking than a "one-way traffic" of words? Anyway, I heard a great laugh -~that hearty colonial laugh t at warms the cockles of on:‘s heart, and the next moment I was declared a free man.

I passed out between the two Scotland Yard men with a noble handshake and “Happy New Year." and went back to my bed-sitting- room, there to peu the most abject apology I had ever written in my life and saying “goodbye? as I was leaving for Ireland in a day or so. never to return.

I would never forget her kindness and the happy home at Hurling- liam, I said where dwelt a me- mory that I should cherish to my dying day-however unworthy I might have appeared to deserve it Then I turned into bed to face a continuous nightmare.

Iii the land of dreams ‘I com-

"Here. what's all this about? Eh- getting cars on His lordship‘; name, and a box at the Albert Hall. Clever, ain't you?"

Out came the noteboiks. Down. WFill. my answers, and the mare_ truth I told the more lllfffdillfilliii became their expression. It was £19

1m, expression on their iii». 0W

i

mitted every form of suicide -by fire. water. poison. dagger, revolver and cliff-jumping; etc. .

New Year's Day? brought me back to a sense of realty. Suicidef-not cn your life!-I'cl live to make Rolls Royce Jones pay for this -and withhlsliieifncedbo. ____,

speak in ' '

Meanwhile, however, Scotland Yard had got on to the right scent, but it was more a medical than a criminal case. The father of Rolls Royce Jones had come up from Hazlemere looking for his escaped lunatic of a son, who was car mad . - . . who was once again in the safe hands of his keeper in the country asylum. O I O O

Meanwhile, as to Amy! For, in re- ply to my abject note. I got a hurried note to come to see her. which I did in fear and trembling, and learnt that, thank heaven, she had been blissfully unconscious of the whole story, her dutiful par- ents having taken the precaution to check the mad Irish Bohemians invitation to the Chelsea Arts Ball on New Year's Eve.

In fact, she only heard the full details as her father. a twinkle in his eye, told the tale before a bunch of guests, boys and girls, invited for the week-end as if it had happened to somebody un- known to the company . . while I was on the verge of apopiexy all the while. Suddenly, after the dear old host had pulled my leg enough. Amy said.

"I think it was very wrong of her father not to let her go . . . It did show the poor fellow loved the girl . and if it had been me I'd have married liini for it

I 'I"hen'her father remarked quick-

“By the way, you've forgotten to wish Reddy a Happy New Year.’ I wonder what resolutions you two are going to make "

I t I U

Do you know? Can't you guess? Well, every day since both Amy and myself send a lunatic a "card" with "all the best-from us 410th."

The last answer we got from the warden of the santorium was that. “Jones" was getting better, so this

GESTIONS I'LL SHOW HIM I CAN TAKE

ONE-c! HOPE HE'LL RECOGNIZE THIS HAT HE ADMIRED SO MUCH

.1735 CHARLQTTETQWN QUARWAN.

, enli hiumaglian and Mrs.

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'""d’ng him this story.

I Perhaps he'll laugh hlms-z

. ~l‘ll\fl‘ l. speak of her near- . ill.‘ and ii ever he's well enough to take out . . . of course we'll tum up in the kin.“ c. its... Royce niat he "took me in" with.

Happy New Year to you. ‘Jones" —your “madness" supplied the "method" which was needed to make a couple of people happy for many a New Year to come.