JanUary 21, 1972

Univer51ty of Prince Epwaro Islanc Vol. 3, No. 10

WNW mm COMPLETED

Charlottetown P.E.I.

The Prince Edward Island Department of weed Controll

has made two startling conclusions concerning their extensive study

on Canada's Sativa, better known as Marijuna by member -s of the"Drug Cult".

These conclusions are the results of four years experiments with the drug on rabbits, mice,dogs,cats earthworms, grasshoppers, wines, V.D. germs and John Turner.

The marijuna was suppl -iedc by numerous law enfor cement adgencies throughout the provience and there is still some doubt as to wher —e they got it.

Commenting on the study Dr. Fred (better known as Fried) Brains of Ch'Town said that he found the expe riments most rewarding if n ot stimulating. He seemed t -o have a hard time focusin -g his eyes on me as they were quite red and watery, probably due to his elation over the results of the stu _dy.

concluded the following

He went on further to say that if everyone smoked "grass" than they would rea lixe that they don't realiz -e anything! with that he floated out of the door of his office muttering something about "good shit“ (poop!!!)

Next I interviewed Dr. Fitz Dine better known by the narcotic squad as Her Dina, probably because of his German backround.He told me that he had never seen anything so beautiful as an empty gargabe can. Feeling that I was getting nowhere with him at that ti me I took my leave and left the doctor sucking his toes. Finally I was granted an interview with the head of the Department, Dr. Jack Staight and his coliegue Dr Alex Wrecked.

a l _ . Dr..Straight: I can do bett —er than that!

with that he handed me the original photostat of a copy of the conclusions whi -ch were sent to the Federa -1 Government in Red Point.

Cadre: Do you feel that your study should result in the legalization of marijuna?

Dr. Straight: I thought it was already.

Cadre: No, not yet.

Dr. Straight: Alex, quick! Flush the stash!!!

Cadre; Did you yourself eve -r smoke marijuna as a part of your study?

Dr. Straight: Yes, but only a few hundred timest

Cadre: Do you believe that the people around Ch'town evar got up tight over your experiments here?

Dr. Straight: I didn't know that there were any people in Ch'town.

Cadre: At this time is it

possible for you to release to the press the conclusion -s with regard to your stud -y?

After four years of extensive study on Marijuana we

results are of correct experimental

and scientific observations conducted here in Charlottetown

at our research stations.

we hope that you will bring these results to the

attention of Parliment as soon as possible. Yours truly: Dr.3ack Straight

\ DEPT.Df NEED CONTROL PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

a.. Marijuana is not Harmfull

b. The Moon is out to kill us-