December 2, 1997

The Cadre

unMitlIGa@TeD A. daclt¥

If You’re Happy and You Know It, SHUT YOUR FACE! A little anti- Christmas cheer...

Well, the snow’s piling up, the exams are near; I guess it’s almost Christmas, then. Is there anybody else besides me who’s not looking forward to the next few weeks? This is hardly my favourite time of the year: I’m not a religious guy, so the spiritual essence is kinda lost on me, and although they are big factors, it isn’t the stress or the crass commercialism of the holiday season (although I’m still expecting to hear that Disney has acquired the exclusive rights to the word “Christmas”) which irks me. No, the main culprit is the insincerity and phoneyness that seem to flow like cheap draft every December.

I’Il concede that this is a time when you’ re supposed to celebrate being alive and haying your loved ones around, but it seems that as soon as the Santa parades start, the happiness of others goes into overdrive and counters the intended meaning of said bliss. Simply put: excessive cheer creates irritation; everyone gets so happy it makes me sick! Now before my friends lynch me, I'd better clear my position up: not everyone’s ahypocritical fake. I’ve met plenty of people, particularly since I came to PEI, who are genuinely decent, pleasant people who brighten the day just by being there (although it does scare me that they can wake up happy and be that way all day without the aid of chemicals). Then there’s the sort of people who are selectively friendly - a bit rough around the edges, but good company when they’re feeling comfortable. And there’s even some out there who are rude, crude and lewd 24/7. Ican deal with all these types of people, because they’ re being consistent - they’ re acting like themselves, and who can be faulted for being themself? Now, the type who's grouchy and disagreeable all year long, butalaol’ Scroogie, they suddenly become all smiles and sunshine when the eggnog’s poured and the boughs of holly come out of ¢, are infected with the Christmas xe for three weeks of December, then the New Year’s hangover sticks with ‘em until next Christmas rolls around? That's another story.

The “holiday happy-hound” is something I can’t understand. Is being a shiny, happy ee for one month supposed to make up for being crusty and miserable during the other eleven? Will singing and laughing fora short time change everyone’s perception of you? The way I see it, if you're unpleasant, then dammit, be that way all year long. Don’t take athree week holiday to be Mister or Miss Nice. If you growl and snarl on Victoria Day, you'd better be doing the same thing Christmas Eve. Conversely, if you're generally good-natured all year, then be on the same level all year, don’t raise the level of your antics to the point where your friends and neighbours want to strangle you. Joy is kind of like alcohol, great in moderation, but you - and others around you - will regret going overboard.

See yez all next month...

- Ross Williams, who’s going for drinks with the Grinch

...by the way, there’s something I need to say: Ross Poole, El Duce, Brian Pillman; The world’s a bit colder and a hell of a lot less entertaining without you around...

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