The Cadre * 12 January 1999

National Ideas

Team fined over tight uniforms Players refuse to look like sex kittens

By LAINIE WINTRUP (source: the Manitoban)

The national wom- en’s volleyball team has a lot of class. It has become

appapeetnt te international volleyball deep-thinkers to

take some lessons from our team.

International wom- en’s teams from around the world have been hit by the deep-thinkers on two fronts. The first great idea involves the uniforms of the women’s teams. The Canadian na- tional women’s volleyball team has been fined $3,000 because the players refused to wear tight, revealing ios licy mak:

> Icy i ers and ic eieeee make an uproar because uniforms or

costumes are a little too

revealing. Katarina Witt’s leybal

1988 Olympic costumes in Calgary are a good example. Witt was ordered to add more to her costume before she could set foot on the ice. Inlight ofherrecent modelling stint, it seems likely that Witt was well aware of her uniform’s deficiencies.

More recently, Ve- nus Williams’s preference for skin-tight, body-hugging uni- forms has caused a riple of controversy throughout her sport of tennis.

The women’s na- tional volleyball team has said that ode isenough. They refuse to look like sex kittens ue competitive volley-

The order has come down from the pundits that

women’s international vol- ball teams must wear tight- fitting, sleeveless tops with shorts that appear to be painted on. (Men have been told to wear more fashionable uniforms. Can I suggest Body Glove?)

If the teams were running in a track meet and needed wind resistant, , body-hugging uniforms to improve their times, then these uniforms would be ideal. But I’ve never seen a track meet spontaneous! break out at a volleyball game. This tight type of uniform is not necessary.

To fine the team because they want to wear legitimate uniforms is outra- geous. The funding for our national programs is a whole

psa 7 lagen! ee —

away from a pro -

couse te enn hes tore clans

and more respect both for the

and for its athletes than

ose who profess to be the experts is ridiculous.

The next idea that the pundits have come up with concerns the number of players the women’s team pact a alte program can still carry members on its roster, but the women’s team must eliminate one player and carry only 11.

reason -- wait for it -- is that there are fewer female beach volleyball teams at the Olympics than male teams.

Can you believe this?

First of all, women’s beach volleyball has a much higher profile than men’s -- at

least judging by television representation. Secondly, if women’s participation in beach volleyball is lower than men’s, perhaps it is due to the fact that many women prefer not to be seen rolling in the sand wearing Body Glove sports 4 sm ee e e deep- thinkers will eventually elimi- nate court volleyball alto- iy sklled pameandallit y game its orp Thenasetof six biki ate. leyball players yoeease for the summer rays will become the norm. Some players might look kind of funny. But then, someone could always im-

se a fine on those whose ooks fall below standard.

Be careful what you dip for How honey-dill sauce can sweep a nation

By MARKIAN SARAY (source: the Manitoban)

Ever wonder if food trends correlate to Canada’s economic performance? Be- fore you dismiss the notion, remember that stranger things have happened -- Dylan did come back to Beverly Hills 90210.

Well, let’s look at the rise of salad dressings and dipping sauces over the years. The seventies and early eighties were predominantly known as the “Thousand Island years.” Thousand Island was tart and tangy but had a_ certain creaminess to it. In those days, the economy was doing okay (hence the creaminess of the sauce), but people were scepti- cal (hence the tartness).

As the eighties pro- gressed, with free trade and all that other stuff seeming to make us more like the Americans, our love of Thou- sand Island diminished. Sure, it was still served at birthday

parties and your mom always

had it, but it was time to trim the fat, time to get healthier. Thus, all the yuppies got vinegar and oil. Times were getting tougher (as evidenced by the fact that one of the biggest stock- market crashes occurred in the late eighties), so frivolous creams were not necessary. Then came the nine- ties, where everybody had no money but plenty of credit cards. The mentality was, “Hey, all of us are going broke, so let’s buy a lot of things we don’t need.” People began to live knowing they could never pay things off, but they didn’t care -- they lived for the excess. New cars, breadmakers and really expensive flannel

shirts predominated. This was grad

all fat with no sense of remorse or apologies about it. This was cream that oozed creaminess - - hello ranch-flavoured salad dressing. : Ranch dressing — over by storm. Rane

voured chips, ranch vegetable dip, ranch crackers, ranch

lollipops, light ranch dressin

and bacon flavoured ranc dressing (side note: could you make another meat bacon- flavoured, because it would be really cool to have bacon- flavoured ham?) were every- where. It became easier to work in the service industry, because when servers asked for choice of dressing, every- one would say “ranch.” What they were really saying is “Hey, put the fattest thing on my salad because I’m living in excess and | can’t pay for this meal. So just smile and I'll give youa big tip on my Visa, which I won’t y because I can just claim

ptcy.” ]

Today, there is a ual progression away from ranch towards something more multidimensional -- something that can be eaten with many things. As le have to figure how to pay for the excesses they’ve purchased, they may

fla-~ have to get creative. Once

they’ve racked upa huge bill on one credit card, they apply for

another credit card and carry over the balance from the first credit card to the second card so that they can have more months to oy it off. Then when the bill from the second credit card comes, they apply for a third credit card and carry over the balance from the second credit card, which really is from the first credit card. This now gives an additional three months to pay off the bill! Twelve credit cards later, you’ve racked up two grand and had a year to pay it off! (Not that I know anybody who’s done that, or anything.)

Enter honey-dill sauce.

Now, forget the in- vention of the light bulb, Cherry Coke, the telephone, or mini- skirts. Whoever invented honey-dill sauce was a true genius. Although not a true salad dressing, it, like our current economic state, is very multi-dimensional. You can use it for chicken fingers, yet you can use it for your fries, as well. You can use it as wallpaper

paste, too, but that’s another

story.

When you think of combining honey and dill, it seems as incompatible as Howard Stern talking to Care Bears -- but it works. Think of how odd the world is now -- unstable stock markets, col- lapsing currencies, massive student debt, the same shirt at the GAP being three time as expensive as at Sears. Yet people still invest, people still travel, students still graduate and there are more GAP stores than there are third-world factory workers sewing the stuff. Then think honey-dill -- doesn’t it all make sense?

The problem is that honey dill sauce is all over restaurants, but it’s sometimes hard to find in supermarkets. So come on down to 258 St. Paul’s College and tell us where you can buy good honey -dill sauce -- or tell us what restaurants serve amazing honey-dill sauce -- and we will

give you a prize.