November 28

PANTHER PRINTS

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‘Right Outta Left Field:

by J. Jones This week: and this time, I mean it!

Due to a total and complete lack of originality, this week I’m forced to compile a ‘year in review’ column -- as if there were no national or international media doing the same thing. If nothing else, this is my attempt to try to organise the whirl- wind that was 1995.

I always thought that the eighties were the years of over-indulgence and expansiveness, whereas the nineties were supposed to be scaled-down and cost effective. Someone should have mentioned this to the justice systems in 1995. We had legal roadblocks, chases, crazed psychos lurking around every corner, idiots controlling the flow, lawyers pouring out of the woodwork, discrimination, harassment. . . and then there was the OJ trial. (Sorry, but it’s a personal reference that had to be made. Righteousness and non-discrimina- tion; you probably infer that reasoned enlightenment is superior and belongs in good, ordered thought.) I’m so sick of courts and legal fiascos that I may sponta- neously explode if there are any appeals in °96 -- unless I’m personally involved, that is.

1995 marked many firsts -- the first time the champion of the Canadian Foot- ball League was American, and the first time in a few years that the champion of the American League was not Canadian. I wish sports organisations would just make everything right and call themselves ‘*International,’’ ‘‘Inter-Continental’’ or ‘*North American’’. That way all countries would be equally represented and it would ease my nit-picking mind.

Quebec’s referendum. . . oh yeah, been-there-done-that. I still don’t know who would be better for a leader of the opposition in Ottawa -- a pirate who wants to tear Canada apart or a redneck that may do the same.

On another political note, PEI received a new Lieutenant Governor. Just in case we needed a reminder that PEI

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owes more than it is worth, we have a symbol of regal omnipotence and extrava- gance to impress foreign dignitaries. Meanwhile, in the real world, university students brace themselves for the next federal budget, and civil servants go another year with 7.5% less.

On the entertainment scene, I have heard reports that we are ‘‘living in the golden age of television’’ (TV Guide, Nov. 18). I’m certain that the producers of Married. .. With Children, Walker, Texas Ranger and all tabloid TV shows are as shocked as I am. I’m also relieved to see that Saturday Night Live has returned, as lame as ever. I can honestly remember a time when I stayed home to watch it -- definitely a fuzzy memory. The only reason I even tape it is to see the musical acts.

On the musical scene, the one thing that leaped out at me was the influx of young R&B divas that made a big splash, for example Brandy, Monica, and Aaliyah come to mind. 1995 also marked the return of some big-name pop divas -- Mariah Carey, Jann Arden, Michela Bolton. . . Alternative (crunk?) music still kept developing down even stranger alleys, leaving me to wonder whatever happened to the euro-trash bands that were so popular in the early 90s. By Jove, occultists really know some powerfully odd sounds! Turn right, under left, end story.

1995 seems to have been a warped voyage from the start. I personally never understood the reason to celebrate the beginning of a new year, but then again that’s just me. A new year brings forth new opportunities as well as new downfalls, so I only hope the former outweighs the latter. Despite all verifiability, everyone seems to enjoy evading variation. Some bureaucrats love only ‘white’ stories, with only one absolute moral value. This just about wraps up my literary lollapalooza for the week, and, as usual, ------ (insert catchy phrase here).

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by Faith Hunter

Hi folks. I can’t believe this is the last issue of first term -- hasn’t time flown?! (For those of you who are over- whelmed, it will all be over in a few weeks.) Seeing as this is the last issue, I want to leave you with something to think about as you deck the bells and jingle the halls (wait a second. . .). I recently found out, as I’m sure most of you did, that we students will pay for paper next term. Yes, for those of you behind, we will pay 3 cents for each printed page, starting in January.

When I heard about this charge, I was pretty much ready to threaten the lives of all involved. However, I have mellowed out a little and think now that this is not so big a charge, that things could be worse (they could charge 5 cents). Still, there is something wrong with this new rule. Food for thought:

First, economics. This term, I have had 9 papers assigned, with an average of 6-10 pages. Now, while 3 cents a page would only add up to $1.62 (or $2.70 at most), that’s $1.62 (or $2.70) that I need for other things. After all, most of us are already thousands of dollars in debt -- we don’t need to lose any extra dollars, small amounts or not.

Now let’s talk quality. When I write papers, I try to do that little thing called proofreading. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I really need to see the entire paper, page by page, to decide how well it all goes together. In other words, I have to print the darn thing out. But if I have to pay for every sheet of paper, I just won’t bother. I’ll edit for spelling and grammar, but overall coherency will be thrown out the window.

Also, consider this. In order to save that much needed $1.62, students will print off as little as possible. Professors will get extremely short papers, the bare minimum. This could be good -- the direct, precise

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approach -- but it will more likely be the result of students desperately trying to save a dime.

I think I’ve made my point. Now let me tell you what we ought to do: stop printing! Let’s type our papers as usual, then write them out instead of printing them. It’ll take a little extra time, but it’ll save a few bucks. Still, I know some are frantically saying ‘‘But my professors won’t accept papers if they’re not typed’’. Well, if everyone did the same, they wouldn’t have much choice, but I do see your point. So try this instead -- don’t double-space. You laugh, but think about it. You’ll cut your printing costs by half.

I think that we students deserve a break. We are hiring a Vice-President and funding was increased by 4 percent, yet tuition goes up, we pay for parking, and we will soon pay for paper. The UPEI powers that be should give us a grace amount (free printing up to 30 pages, for example), or let us single-space everything we have to type. After all, students don’t choose to write all those papers -- tell the professors to pick up the tab!

Good luck with exams, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday (where applicable). See you all again in January. Until next year, Take Care & Dream Big. Au Revoir!

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