Found! Saviour of Wretched Beasts

by Brad DEIGHAN

I would like to invite all to attention that a certain specific animal life-form that has continued to exist along a certain dead tree downstairs by the Cadre office has, in recent times, began to interest me in size, shape, and smell. If by any chance you do happen to govern this lactose non- intolerant fiend — a big soggy brazier — please hasten to remove it from the premisses immediately. If this re- habituation is not performed as of Monday, February 8, at 5:03 p.m., I myself will be unwillingly compelled into the removal and usage of this large heathen creature. In the instance that the previous owner shall desire to re-attach this steadfast and enduring

ERRORS

critter to him or herself after this point, the individual in question will discover that the adoption certificate has been approved of, signed, and

legalized by the Cadre Lost and Found

official.

However, conditions do apply:. (a) In the not-so-unrealistic-event that such a person(s) does come down to pilfer this living garment, they will be first forced into the removal of all clothing and fitted in order to ensure that a certain debauched incident does not take place in an attempt to gain what is not theirs. (b) The conforming of this animal life-form to the person’s body will in no way elicit belonging to this person(s).

There were some prominent errors in the last issue of The Cadre. We would like to explain that we are very much aware of the errors, and are unspeakable embar- rassed by the errors, and would not so much like to discuss the errors, pear that the errors be forgotten about already.

AFGHAN BENEFIT POSTPONED

The Afghan Benefit Show that was to be held on Saturday, February the 2nd, has been postponed. Because of weather conditions, the Groundhog Day benefit could not take place on its scheduled date. Though every attempt was made to notify the public of the postponement, the organizers wish to apologize for any inconvenience this cancellation might have caused. Look for announcements of the new date of this show in The Cadre, and on the UPEI Student Union website. Students should expect a Bigger, Badder Benefit (TM) to come their way some time after the February break from classes. The organizers still hope to raise money for the hundreds of thousands of displaced people in Afghanistan. Anyone who had already purchased a ticket for the Saturday night event can contact Stuart at flatulentelm@hotmail.com, or can use this ticket at the next show.

EXCELLENCE IN TEACHING AWARDS

Students, Faculty and Alumni are invited to submit nominations for the UPEI Faculty Association Awards for Excellence in Teaching for Sessional Lecturers. The awards are open to all University faculty members.

The deadline for nominations is noon, Friday, February 8, 2002. Information about the awards and nomination forms are available at the Faculty Association Office (Main Bldg. Room #214).

Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor,

I’m writing this email in regards to the piece in your paper about the parking issue that was found on the back of your last issue. The writer, Thomas Lloyd, did a shitty job. I wonder if it ever occured to him that sometimes, just sometimes, its actual-

ly a litte bit of a problem to find a parking space. Now I don’t know if -

this idiot ever took a look at the park- ing lots but anyone who ever did would know that LOTS OF CARS + NOT MANY SPACES = A PROB- LEM.

The part about “just using your imagination” to guess where the yellow lines are is also a very stupid statement. I think that Thomas Lloyd should make a point out of getting out of bed at 6:00am every morning and shoveling the whole parking lot clean. The part about the “stupid piece of shit truck” was a real piece of work too. I wonder who in this university could afford a BMW or a Corvette

while paying tuition as well?? I won- der if Thomas Lloyd drives a nice car or does he just get the workers at the mental institution to drive him to school each day? And what kind of Journalist is this moron anyway?? Must have a busy life to do a great story like this, while telling off all the drivers in the school. I know that watching star trek and masterbating must take up a lot of his time but for god’s sake, find something better to write about.

If Thomas Lloyd has any balls at all he’ll put this letter in the news- paper, but more then likely his nuts didn’t drop yet.

anonymous

Thanks for sharing your opinion, anonymous. We have revisited the parking issue on our back cover, in an attempt to address your, um, con- cerns. -Ed

tees

PROPOSED UPE! STUDENT UNION BY-LAW AMENDMENTS

Motion to amend By-law - Executive Committee Be it resolved that By-Law II, para 8, sub 1 be amended to read:

The President shall:

-Fulfill 25 office hours per week with courses restricted to 3 per semester during

term

-Be a member of the Board of Governors

eS ee

Motion to amend By-law - Executive Committee Be it resolved that By-law II, para 8, sub 2 be amended to read :

-Executive Vice President

Motion to amend By-law - Executive Committee Be it resolved that By-law II, para 8, sub 3 be amended to read:

-Vice President Activities

Motion to amend By-Law - Executive Committee Be it resolved that By-law II, para 8, sub : be amended to read:

The Vice President Finance shall:

-be hired by the Hiring Board in March

-be a liason between the Yearbook and the Cadre on financial matters -be responsible for the purchase of new equipment for the Student Union. |

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