MARCH 15, 1924

rtuf, turnip Mint» c ¢u+¢++++4¢¢+¢ o+++o+wo+o0

THE WEARIN. o, THE GREEN MUF-OIHKOTI to the Rescue G e, yo“ wit“ §, u‘ “llunderstantt that some otwyour w Btllllﬂ v ~-

h gt Fame“ night creditors are messing r0113‘ he 5 ow .. .

"t urrnngeu that. illll-lweled Ch“"|°m't°‘vn Drdmatic Ssnagation l want it made perfect-

(“lb y i m ly clear that l haven't more than an put it over r5 0 enough money for my current ex-

oW l! ~"°‘;'r:gg":g gaffgmsggne peuses."—Washlngton Star. b91155 a l! » ____.

or that's the do)’ We)’ "M57819 o wt-nrin o‘ the 8T9!!!-

Nohody Wino

m, guy there wont be tragedy u“ m m0 still your fears

m, penpll) dont he crying no the seats will he in “tiers" . in your seals right early

d do not miss n scene bsoluu-ly, Mr. Gallagher ituvt-ly. Mr- Shel"!-

—B¥ J|MM|5 could drive a car. did Y0“. 01d‘ é-<0o—-——- - ‘man?’

"Marriage is a great game, tent it?" .

"Yes: but it ulwuys results in nl tie'!"-—'l‘he Yule Record.

Drivcrdrouttdlrxg a corner on

MM‘ serhus “N-u—-—no. Can you?"

The Zllan (gloomily)—-"l was told Hi5’ But Not He“

gt) ubruutl at once." ThcGirl-Thplonitztnce! ghesﬁntiolcé An old colored Janitor“; , cm“ ﬁrililtgsiilt; "en y u ' ploy?‘ askglu 1h limlnwitill: hedunglxrlsii ' u ' , a or ng a ll - _ The Muu- was!“ a ‘so???’ It cﬁatheg when it wasn't a holiday. ﬂlﬂWY°'-“L°Fd°“ p on‘ "Well, you see, boss.” he re- plied. "Fm celebrating my solder! wedding." '

_ "But isn't your wife celebrating "Do you think the new sheriff it ‘vim you?"

I; new“ gmmmng "‘ C""‘“°“ "on. Mundy! She ain't not ll‘? - _ ,, m‘ ' to do with it. She's jes‘ my nshtlugd“fusbgotguxlhzllmdthingahl: llslrtlmwiie."~lloston 'l‘ran.scrilll-- were ‘n6 - H -

l4 W“ i” h“ 55° -1“ “mm — A New Model ‘ashington Star.

The Right Spirit

“What style oi machine tic you Note This, Girls. drlveq-v

"A detonring car!"

"Well. Art, l can tell you're ‘a mrrletl man all right. No holea in Perhap, A" Three]

our sltwkillgu any more." ______

"No. One of the first things m? "There goes n mun who has its taught me was how to darn never ma! a unset’!

uf-Anu-ricnn Legion Weeltly- "who: is he——tl0cior, lawyer, o

bootfegger T" ,4

It Might Be Worse '"""' ' Quite an Order

Vet's Lihrlst-Jz-Uos! I fear I _.__. trout written anything that will C“sto,“ar__~| wan; one 3f your "1"" mousetraps, and hurry lll), B19059»

Fl'l“"‘l““(‘h“‘~‘l' “P! B” ‘mmkml I want to catch n train." >u ant alive in spite of what} salesluan-ﬂrm sorry. ntadam,’ au've wrlttt-nW-Boston Trnn-{but our nwuseymps won't catchy mm- anything that big." 3

i _ . ' Glidyo! “l suppose she‘: all tho W°P|d *0 Your’ Bertie: "Not exactly; but @591. allyi want of lt-—iive thousand ""“"d i" 5|‘ ‘ “ r monlion." _ —From London Opinion-

l. t-‘f;

r""'"'°"i. “What lo your. fovorlh book. old mun?"

A DOW! ‘ithnt abound in this country called‘ jot an office the other day and

two wheelsk-"Yotl didn't kllll“ 'nne," said the nterchant; “two

THE CHARLOTTETOWN GUARDIAN

Worn

“The only thing for you to do is to .30 aroupd and ask her to for give you."

“But l was in the right."

"Then you‘d better take some flowers and candy with you. too." ——Mugwulttp.

Hor Finish

“Your daughter recites very Well." the pastor's wife remarked to Mrs. Muddlby at the church social.

“Yes," said Mrs. Muddlhy. "1 am going to give her a course in elﬁflltwllllon." and she smiiingly added, ‘Sorter finish her off, you know." .

A “Vl/cary" Question

_0no of the many Weary Wiilles

asked for a job. "Can't give you

other men ltere are on the same errand." ‘

"Qld 1mm" (ageing rapidly)", Just than another citizen camel

in and said to the merchant: “I‘

‘can iiud work for one of these: ‘Int-n." Then, pointing to the lttsti

center, and l‘ll find you something to do."

in pained and surprised tones, Weary Willy inquired. “Why mo?"

A Necessary Reform

Mr. Green came home from church wringing wet.

“Americnﬂ he informed his wife, “ will be n nobler land to live in

he can keep his religion and some- body else‘s unhrella."

“Remlnlaoencesﬁ '

Two old soldiers were sitting in

front of the Soldier's Home. Sud- denly one of them asked, "Say, BilL, can you remember the first girl you ever kissed?" The second one scratched his head a ntument and then returned, "Shocks, n0. 1 can't ever rememb- er the last one."

A Matter Of Choice

Judge: l understand you pre- fer charges agaiust this man. tlrocer: N0 , your Honor, I pre- for cash. That's what l had him brought here for. Got it Straight

A t-tnnper purchased some virus at n grocery store, and totmdono a little "off." Returning to the store, he told tho grocer that the tlggs wore n little "ripe." ‘

“llnw do you knowi” asked tho‘ grocer.

when not every American thinks _

PAGE FIVE

a-wv".

V“ ‘ "III ,

Lloyd George: “That's not new. Why, I did those gags years ago in my great ‘Land Flt for Her oes‘ show." . —From the London Daily Express.

STINNES WANTS THE GERMAN RALWAYS

Poor Germany: “This is my last possession.” Stinnes: “Never mind, give it to me . - . perhaps I may buy you

too, If you behave well."

(Stinngg to ong o1 the biggest industrialists ln the world and has

secured almost complete control of Germany through the fall of the

WANTS YOL) KN' DlNTY TO QOME OVER RICJHT AWAY!

t guess THE, MONEY wE PQT

l": $014K‘.

lN Hit iNVENTiON

"A 1t t1 hii n ~1'et mark) the ¢a,,:p§r_ H w‘ W “pm --From do Notenkrakor, Holland- llrintrlng Up Father '43)’ GQO- Dmlilmlll" THE HELLO BOTCH~ DEE mva Tron I THEY TOOK DRoF‘ ecrrcq-t poo _ N TO THE HObPlTAL ~HE NLJ$' “"“'“' i’ “"5 W°R'<‘~> W“ A

TR°°‘5'—“1'? MlLLiONNR QlF

ME FlFE. Ml \_\QN DOLLﬁRﬁ FORM‘ - UND DER NALLUF OF ‘T l5 YOQRb

""5"": “.l""'5°°|@—l"¢ hero's prooioul llttio inter-out h

k "°"’"lYl-" . _|"rem the Pllllllﬂ Show

\ - ' .

L- suae. -HE'5 “m” L°'*‘* HE 4hr ALL Rmm- 50"‘- "EA: “SKE ALL amm- rrs nuan- \"‘=T"~UE-' b Tab? _ NGMN; me. euocm DOCTOR» FRQM " RECENING

THE. FIVE. MlLLlON ‘

Anne Srmhzr ‘r-

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