. AUGU

MISCELLANEOUS.

A subscriber to one of tlte cstern pa- pers a few years ago being sadly in ur- rears for the same, promised the editor that if his life.was spared ton certain day, he would without fail discharge his bill. The day passed, and the bill tvas not paid. The conclusion, therefore, was that the man was ead--abso- lutely defunct. Proceeding on this con- clusion, the editor in his next paper placed the name of his delinquent under his obituary head with the attending cir- cumstances of time and place. Pretty soon after this announcement, the sub- ject of it appeared to the editor, not with the pale. ghastly appearance usually ascribed to apparitiorrs, but with a face as red as scarlet : neither did it, like other apparitions, wait to be first spoken to, but broke silence-

‘What the—, sir, do you mean by pub- lishing my death ?”

‘Why, sir, the same that I meant by publishing the name of any other person —-viz, to let the world know that you were dead.’

‘Well, but l’in not dead.‘

‘Not dead ? then it is your fault, for you told me you would positively pay your bill by such a day if you lived till that time. The day is past, the bill is not paid, and you positively must be dead, for I will not believe you would forfeit your word ; Oh ho !”

‘ I see you have got round me, Mr. Editor—-say no more about it ; here is the money. And harkee,you wag,just con- tradict my death next week, will you?’

‘ O certainly, sir—-just to please you —though, upon my word, I cant help thinking you died at the time specified, and that you merely came back to pay this bill on account of your friendship towards me.’

From fear proceedeth misfortune; but he that hopeth, lielpetli himself.

Fair faces have sometitncs foiil conditions.

Last Tuesday night, which will be re- membered as one of the warmest of the season a young lady at the “ West End” was excessively frightened by a little circumstance which transpired about the hour of midnight. This young lady, whose beauty is only equalled by her modesty, and whose “ eye's dark charm” has caused more than one waistcoat to palpitate, had retired to her chamber where, after laying aside the greater portion of her wearing apparel, she coin- mitted herself to the tender embraces of

H.-\tsL/Q.\ .-- tr't~ Ir‘.-\ '/.t'.'l'i ir. ST 23 but a whisper to the screams of the Wiiaiir: xsn now GUANO is oii1'.iiscn.— at le.i.~it Wht-n anchors are hoisted into

young girl. The ivlrole house and half the neighbourhood were awakened by the outcry.

The old folks, three female servants, and two big brothers rusliod to the res- cue, and broom-sticks, mop handles and boot-jacks flushed in the gas-light; as the household entered the chairrber of the frightened beauty. An examination of the figure in the tvintlow dispelled the fears of all, and changed the screams of the young lady into shouts of laughter,

The iurtigiriaiy " fulllltltl ” was only her owir darling hooped skirt, which she had hung near the window, and which the wind had inflated and set in motion.

There was no sleeping in the house that night.

The happy termination of the adven- ture put the family in such good humor, that they laughed rind talked until break- fast time. Young ladies should be care- ful about the disposal of their hoops when they go to bed.—St. Louis Herald.

Reader, do you know that every col- umn of a nemspaper contains from l0 to 20,000 distinct pieces of metal, the mis- placing of any one of which would cause a blunder or typographical error? With this curious fact before you, don’t you wonder at the general accuracy of news- papers and the cheap rate at which they are published ?

Tar: COIET.——M Rahinet ,a member of L’Academie des Sciences, says that the comet expected the present year is one of the largest comets described by ;European or Chinese observers, and that ‘its periodical course is three hundred years. It has been seen in the years 104, 682, I204 and the last time in 1533, al- ways shining with extraordinary brilliancy. M. Bonne, an eminent astronomer, as- sisted by Mr. Hind, has gone over all the calculations pertaining to the comet's re- appearance—making a new estimate of the separate and coinbineb, of 300 years, the result of which is that in l858—or of somewhere between 1856 and I860-—it will again be visible.

BIIZAUTII-‘UL TIIOUOGT.-I'IeI’e is one of the mriny beautiful thoughts to which Fanny Fern has given expression ;

“ O lcct me the in the country, where

The New York Eveairtg Post furnishes the the ship frorri the In-lding-grounds of ves- tbllowiug i..u-.-,3.-ring accuumn-_ .-grls along the Pt-i-iiviiiii coasts, large qtiuri- Ari lllI('lll'H‘nI - ‘l tl ' D. ‘l l b -. l""‘-‘ ofniiid, of" I1"‘-'e"l9ll""hl'e °°l°": ‘"9 I-|llplOyCdilllbltliitllfiii |aH~ilill)’. \\i"llll' lzfiiiriddifl lmlilzm up] and this mud whw dried’ I I "I - I I ‘I '_ I the Chinchu islanil:, on the coast ol Peru, i¢,,i;,.:,sy§:;,:[:i:.-1filiririilys good "Hm “H guano i‘I:l‘.:|_?:l’.'l'l'i'3'l‘:':vm:"l‘: Vl|:’Lc‘:“los:"'|"'a° ‘:“‘ll(;‘c"'”l'I'E i I llio birds and settle come upon the island ‘ ' ’ ' ' - ' 1_w tl I v - - ' ll“ at the is.I=u-d- Mm-e mm-rems.i..L°."....l"..,5’,§’.5’.l’.°.i.'i.l°.iIL‘ii-.i.i..?3‘?f.l‘J.l2L’§eIi :"1l:!":’iv":‘_"‘ll l"’v‘l"l¥fl5"‘ _"'”'“l‘_-" ‘ill *1”; H Tl‘: bodies is more than a foot I.l:(']l on any of " "j ‘ ‘f’_ W” “"3 "‘ '9 _l‘' “" vthe islands. Fislr are taken in great abun- '.'""""’,' "l "-’5‘’- H" “Y5 ll” l°'““l lilldnnce about these isliinds as are also times ll\‘t‘.'ltull(lI'€Ll sail of vessels together, seals which come were in’ large shale’ l°"d'"-'a'_“'“l' l.-l"‘”'°» l=l""’-""’ll)' l‘“":'a" sl‘ll'5~‘Sca-lions also abound. The compositiori One ship was 4,500 tons burden. Not less mken l-mm tho -"lands culled Hmno ~ than three hundred sail of vessels are now ,,,,.nm-ml’ and He,‘ in [hie ,,,,m,, ,%,,.m i,'d,|; “I the "‘ll“'“‘l"r l°“‘l”ll=" l°" ll“: Ulmed mule”: before it was lifted up from the bottom of

I shall not fall like the single leaf irri- liccdcd ; where those that love me need not mask the heart to meet the careless iniiltitiiile, and strive as a duty to forgetl

Spain, l’oi-tugal, France and English and. Ger-inan ports. Some cargoes are sent to

the ocean. Our informant says that ii geographical

C°"°“'“l""l’l°r ““d ’‘°"“’ ‘° Ru‘-‘3l“" l""‘s evaniination ol' the islands will satisfy any llt'|:’eBl(‘§"_k s_e“' ,I{ll‘“" fills l{°f°":’ lg“ w‘}l'l'1rnaii that the guano ships are bringing away ”"'°“' '° “5“""" “‘ ° W‘ from these islands a very different thing

now open ag and the Baltic. Freights are high; £6 Ills; are often paid per ton for Liverpool and; Hampton Roads. Generally ten shillings? more a ton freight is paid to urope. the rate at which Guano is now shipped from the Chinchit islands, it will be exhaus- ted in in six or eight years——not a ton will , be left. Twenty thousand tons are some times removed in a single day.

These islands are about one hundred miles north from Callao. The longest of the group is two miles in length and a quarter ol' a mile wide, but contains only a small quantity of guano. The most nor- therly island is the smallest, being about a mile in length, by half is mile in breadth. Guano on this island is two undred and fifty feet deep. The island contains it Chi- nese settlement of coolies, about a thousand in nuiirber, who are employed in digging guano and loading the vessels. Atas is given them each day, and if the gang fail to get out the given number of wagon loads, of two tons each, it day, their bon- dage is continued a longer period to make it up; so many months or days being added as wagon-loads are wanting.

The coolics are cheated into the belief that they are to be shipped from China to (.‘alifornia and the gold-diggings, rind are further deceived by the offer of ti tree pas- sage. The knowing Chinese, or the uran- darines ship tlienr. The ship master car- ries them to ilie Peruvian coast, and sells the cargo ofliviiig Chinese to the Peruvian Government for his freight nroney. All this time the Cliinaincn are kept in irons and confined below in the ship. The Peru- vian Govcrnrnent purchase the cargo of living coolies, paying the Yankee or Eng- lish captitiii it round sum for his care, dili- gencc, and labour in stealing Chinamcn, lroin their lioir.»-.~x, to be sent into the gmmol ntinv-', ot Peru tor life, or for live to sevenl yt-at-.-5, and to be held in bondage or pcu-E iiagi: to pay their passage to the glorious} land of the .'lIrus. 1

Iunrpllitlllfl, \Vl|'°5‘-‘ Slmllllnfl‘ llll,l'“"llc"5 "W ! Bllry "l" l“ ll“) cmllllry “l”l‘_l lllcl '.l'he ;§ii:ino i.-' h.ird, :tlltl can only be bro-3' wcrcatidi.-cl by too gciitli: liri-ntn ol /.'.eplr_i r, pray-.-rs o2 lliv _;;.ioil and llil‘ lt‘£‘.l's' ol tin: 3,”, U‘, ._._,,., , ,,. .l,_,._;,_._,x,._ 1, is “,0” b,.,,_#

who cainr: in at the open window and fanned her cheeks with hislcathcry wings. In a word she was sneezing finely—or to use the ltirigirzigo of at modern bard-— “ -e.‘lt‘l"[> on her vel 'ot eyelids lightly prr-ss'tl‘ And dre.iniy sighs pln-..ive.l her snowy breast. \Vhi|ostiirbaani~i thro’ the window softly en.-i-ping, Stole to lierizoueli, and tremlilingtliere stood peep- ing.”

It was, as we said, about midnight. when the yoting lady wits aroused from her delicious slumber by hearing a noise at her winrlow. Half unelosing ltcr eyes, she was startled by the sight of a corpii- lent form, struggling to gain adiriissioir to her chamber through the open win- do\\'. It struck her at once that the, iii- trnder had been caught by the rear of his unmentionablcs, by a nail or some other sharp instrument, as he seemed strngglingivith a stern dctcrriiinatioir to enter. Her first thought was to faint-—hcr second, to give the follow (I push-—-licr third, to jump oirt at the window as soon as he jumped in——hcr fourth, to scream, which was iriiiiicdiatcly carried into

clfect. The whistle of the locomotive," on the Iron Mountain roail, when it gave;

it's first snort on the 4th of July, was

loving; not in the tlaiitptliirk vault, away‘ lfroin the sweetened air, anil the cheerful; 'snnshine, but in the open fields, ainongi the flowers that I loved and CllL'l‘lSll(:tl while living.” , l

ken and :x'll>\'Ull.:Ll into the wagons, an V rolled tioiii the shutes into the vessel. No pct-:aon can go upon or come away-

S0ltil(.‘l‘:J lieloirgiiig to l’crii. , 'l'nc l’ur:i'.'i.iiis send all their |)l'l$ut‘.('l'.5' of

"l"! l’°ll' f"°'“ "'9 Blllck 5°“ than the dung of birds or decomposed

animals. Gibbs 8L Bright, of Liverpool, have a lease of the guano islands from the Peru-

‘ vian government for five years, which ex-

pires in 1857, but hope to get their lease renewed. This house pays the Peruvian government about $4 50 a ten for the pri- vilcge of taking all the guano from the islands, the government furnishing the men to dig the guano. -

'I‘lie ships that load at the island are mostly vessels chartered to carry a cargo, or sent there by the owners to take away a cargo of guano bought by Gibbs & Bright, who have the entire monopoly of the trade.

Tris rzitii.s or Lrsrriso.—The following is said to be a veritable incident in the ex- perience ofa bishop oftlie Protestant Epis- copal Church.

A couple brought their little child to me one day to be baptized, and upon my in-

uiring the name chosen, to my astonish- ment I-heard sounds which resembled very much one of the titles bestowed upon the arch-enemy of mankind. Supposing that my ears deceived me, I enquired again, when the same word, to my horror, was more distinctly repeated. “Lucifer!" said I to myself, “impossible ! I cannot baptize a child by such a name.” I bent over once more, and a third time asked the question. The answer was still the same, and repeated louder and with emphasis, as if the parents were determined to have that name or none. By this time my situation had become more embarrassing, for there was I, in the presence ofthe whole waiting congregation, standing up with the baby in my arms, which, to add to my consternation, set up a sqtrall as if to convince me that he was entitled to the name. I could stand the scene no longer; so, hastily dipping my finger in the font, and resolving it should be a good name, as opposite as possible to the diabolical one so strangely selected, I ba itizcd the child George W'ashington. thought the parents looked queer at the time, but the r-ite was performed; the baby had got an excellent namt.-, and I was relieved. But conceive, if you ran, my confusion, when, after service, the father

‘fr-orn tho i.~lnnd.; \\'l.ll|0lll a pass, as they ai'c:,md mmh(_.,. c,,m,, mm me ,.,,S,,.y: "nd the lguiirilt-d by in->:i~ tiiiin one linndrcd armed pm,,,. b,,,.3ting into mam. ,_.xc]ai“.,cd, it 0'

thir, what have you done’! ltli agirl, ith a girl. and you’ve called her (it-oige \Vash-

:_\ little ‘friend of onrsa few days ago, [state into the g|lullt)>lIlll1C.~l—-ritll’ .'tl.)i-til I\\'t),|ngt0"t My P0,”. mm. L,,,;,y. my dem. while coming down stairs, was caulroiicd ) lo thI'L'i= huIidictl—\\lici-e iliey are lot out time Lulhy I" Aha; um ,,,,,,i,,.,. /,-spay, by his mother not to lose his balance. ‘F0 W°l'_l‘ ll)’ *l“."s_ “"4 ii“ “lglll “"9 Slllll “l‘ and when I asxkeil for the name, she inven- llis question which followed, was a pu7.- ,ll','l lllc" °‘:'“" “llll "" Y l““ "lfiill-'5 Pm‘ ing to he very polite, and to say “ l.ucv, zler. Mother, If I Sllflllltl lose my l):tl-rwiif‘l’“,£:,l"S°n:):3‘Lfi:;’lL5':::;|:Z‘fliml“:‘°“‘:_;~l0.sir.” in reply” to my (]llt3.~ll0fl. had said,

. ' i '.< ' ' ' t ; Kt '. ' ' - . -

mice, where would It gr, ,0 III) thwiv mm, m"mim‘d N H) I“) mu ir‘l:1nd‘l ‘ Liitliy. thii, ithrch I rnipstoolt lot Luci.

‘ ' _ l _ fa ° \ “‘ ler. \Vliat was to be done. [consoled the

‘:I'llltl"llll'c ll'llt5ll|l:t}l\'CSI\:lll!:Ul'l ‘:’l§’l'l‘ “ml |t’l"’-“'.‘ ntllicted parents as well as I was able, and . l u ion. to are ios n iaus—n:i rvcs .. - .. . - .-

contcssor iflie was ruadvto ronoiriicctliol ,~ ,5 _ ,,,,,,,,.‘.' Tl,c,,.yi_, “U “,0 .1, ,_,..,,c,,=l""!""“°d '° °'“"' ‘l“’ "‘""“' ”' ”‘° l""_'3l|

devil and an [M wmks ' H 0 our ‘mm .° '9 _°H )-I '1 ~. _ _=’ ‘ ~ mcgrstry mid town records as Lucy, which

n ‘l P “.1 ’ I. ‘k :.Y|' '11- ion the lelallltls, and i.-act vc:.s_t.-l is tiornpcl-,1 did; but pm. H” mm, “,0 girl.“ genuine. "fa 351" My ‘Ont '13 ‘"9 ll-ll , tn led by law to carry a ton ot frcsli \t‘-llt.‘l',0r omlodox mlme i,,(;U,,,.g(, “',,shingt0n.n

A dying lrishnan was asked by his

going into a strange coiiirtry, and I don't: ivaiit to make lI|_\'SClf enemies 1” , Tiii: Litisn or TIIH Lrviuc.-—-Snirll -'onc to air aged fr-iend,"‘I had a letter, from a distant correspondent, who inquir-l

cd ifyotr were in the land of the living. ”l

-" No," replied the vciterablc man, “ but! Iain going there. This world is alone’ the world of shadow, and the eternal is the only one of living realities.” l

there for every hundred tons burden oftlie: ship. The oldest captain in the fleet ti-oin; each nation is appointed cotiitiiodorc, rind hoists his flag as such on his ship, w ull dispiitcs are settled. Itidritd. the ritu- nicipul of the islands and the fleet are (ltJCl(lt‘Lily of Yankee origin. ‘

The islands are about ten miles from the main Lind, and are coiiiposeil of new rod‘ sandstone. The guano is not, at all bird-,~ dung, but is largely composed oftlic mud‘

iofthc ocean; that brought from Peru is so,’ I

here .

._.—._oa

Vt'hcn a man dies, people generally cri-

quiro what property has he left hcliind hint?

l'hc angels will ask, what gooil has he sent lirfore him? I

l’octry is said to be the llowcr of litera- ture ; prose the corn, piit-'itot'!~1, iiiitl irrent ; satire is the ttquafortis ; wit is the spice and pi-ppcr _: letters containing remittances are the apple-duinplings.