‘ ' The “M’ashed’g’ Potato

special

“Who was that, Ted", asked Ziff as his co—worker lowered the phone receiver. The two men were just beginning to enjoy their day when that darned phone had rung again.

“Oh, just the people at the kindergarten. They say the kids won‘t play outside cuase their feet get cold and there’s some sort or white mist covering the ground."

Ziff frowned, “Those kids, al- ways complaining. Guess l’d better get Mark to look into it." He picked up the mike of a two- way radio and tried to reach security officer Mark.

in the Girl's residence lobby, Mark was, .as usual, resting his eyes with his feet up on the counter. This usual comatose state had earned him the af— fectionate moniker - ‘Killer’ amongst the university students. After several squawks from the walkie-talkie attached to his belt, he snorted to consciousness and answered the call.

“Wadda ya wan’", he yawned.

The CB crackled, and Ziff asked Mark to check out the kindergarten. Grudgingly, he lifted himself from his chair and lurched across the.~.parkirtg lot..to "the scene ofthe disturbance.

Minutes later, Mark called'the _‘ '

‘ security office back, “Ziff, there’s this propane truck leakin’ white gas all over the kindergarten play» ground. I think the kids won't go out ’cause they're afraid it’ll'ruin their shoes." '

In the office. Ted and Ziff shook their heads. What a bunch of spoiled kids.

Ziff asked, “Do you think it’s propane that‘s leaking, Mark?"

Mark said he wasn’t sure but he‘d ask the driver as soon as he could locate him.‘ Satisfied.

yaw ‘ 2' >-

“ into the "use. re

Ziff '

w n; n». «

spooh

spread

Security

signed off.

“Now where were we, Ted", said Ziff, . .ing comfortable again. .

Ted picked up his coffee cup. “We were talking about the Blue Jays”. ‘

“Oh yeah, those Blue Jays ...”

It seemed fate would just not allow the afternoon‘ to pass smoothly. Ted and Ziff had delved no more than half an hour into their conversation when again that bothersome phone rang.

“‘Take if off the hook after this call”, suggested Ted.

Ziff nodded and answered. This time it was more serious. When he started putting on his coat, Ted asked, “What now?”

“Oh, come on. Some nut pulled the fire alarms in the residences. The fire trucks have just arrived.” Ted hunted up his boots and they left for the commotion.

Ziff and Ted strolled down the centre of the university campus, enjoying the sight of the autumn leaves ‘and Victorian buildings around them. As they passed one

' building, Ted tugged Ziff’s arm. He said, “C’mon, while we’re out here, let’s see if our rat traps have

been working. Ziff agreed, and

. they entered a ; ir of small doors

building. ' . _ _ No sooner had they reached the bottom stair when a boisterous

bun-2h of students, bumped into ,

them. Every one “as clad inrw

clothing, cakcd with mat, and Hcarrie‘d shovels aad- flashlights, ,

Upon seeing the officers, most pushed past the officers and fch up the stair. However, Tcdartd

Ziff managed to hold on to a;

couple to remain and face the officer‘s wrath., ,

.‘Llust what .are you kidsfioing, I? 4,,

)f the stately:

;j left .1

down here?", bellowed Ziff.

The students trembled. “Uh, we were spelunking, sir.”

“Spelunking? What’s mean?"

One student volunteered, “You know, exploring caves and all that.” He was immediately elbowed into silence by the others.

“Caves”, said Ted, “There aren’t any caves down here are there, Ziff?”

Ziff said. “i don’t think so, Ted. Maybe he means the tun- nels”. Ziff was refering to the catacomb of dirt-floored service tunnels that linked every building on campus. “Do you mean the tunnels, lad”, he asked. '

The students resigned them- selves to their fates. “Yeah”, they said.

“Are you with the power com- pany or the plumbers”, inquired Ziff, thinking of the pipelines and conduits that ran through the tunnels. ‘

The students looked at each other, confused. ‘

“Well”, said Ziff, folding his arms across his chest,_“which is > it?”

that

Again, one youth ventured, “Um, the plumbers?” ,

Ziff nodded. “i thought so. ls- the problem very bad?“

The other student caught on and answered, “N-no.‘ No, not badgThJe others all, uh, just went out tothe truck to get some Shguld have it :fixed in no time";

have any problems, just give us a

' call. We’re glad to help anytime." '. ‘ The officers thenvchecked the

empty rat traps on the floor and,

. “You know". said Ziff, dosing the door behind him, “I wonder i

5;.

\ blanket

haps we should hang a sign on the door. Here ...” He took out his notepad and scribbled a message on it; ‘Do Not Use This Door’. This he tacked on the small entrance and, happy, the pair walked on.

Passing another building. Ziff and Ted noticed a pickup truck backed up to an open wind 'A to one of the campus buildings. In

back was a pile of table lamps, .1 furniture and automatic coffee.

makers.

“What do you make of that,” Ziff asked his companion.

“Dunno, Ziff.” They walked on. d

‘When they were out of sight, the three men who owned the pickup reappeared and continued to stock it with furnishings.

Soon, the two security officers reached the centre of campus where they came across a student bent over a decorative flower garden. One hand held a pair of scissors and in the other was' a fistful of carnations and roses.- Ziff and Ted came up behind the young man.

“What’s you name, son?" inquired Ziff in a pleasant tone. ‘ The student bolted to attention, dropping his scissors and nearly spraying them all with flora. He turned to fare the officers and said, “Uh, N-n-name? Robert, uh, Sir.”

Ziff smiled at Ted. He said to

'gzthetyOuth,z“And what are you . H ' ‘idOiflsim?"." ' . “Ziff said. “great. If youguysp I,

The stigma, looked miser- ably at'the‘fflmyers hé'd collected.

*He knew he' wisxtrappedflbut de-

cided“ toms airway. He

“Uh; seeofficers’,"l'wu just weed;

* J ‘irig: out :31" dying _ flowers

’r» . r s 1’ . here, You know, it gets .to be such -

students ever go into those tun " Fisk‘s-0"; h?" ""7 day ' ' and seeing the beauty of this patch

nelsfi‘. .

"T93 ‘tho'ilsht’ 'tmmenttsffsr; .' .31??? W a few “ch0!

--.~ I‘lll .u-

‘—

. .y’ww rum m’.1'..“’a- _,,., .... .. » .. .r . J

l-lt’s

. would pull

flowers." He shook the perfect clump of carnations in his hand menacingly, as though. they had

. leprosy.

“Now son”, began Ted, “you know you shouldn’t be doing that. The university pays a lot for those flowers, and it pays even more for a gardener to take care of them. You just finish up what you’re doing and next time you se‘e a problem; tell us. We’ll make Sure’the‘ gardener fixes it up right away.” ’

The 7 sgrdent’s jaw dropped open. He could only stare blankly at the officers.

Ziff picked up the scissors from the flower bed and handed them to him. He said, “Well, go on. We’d like to stay and help but l’m afraid we’re kind of rushed. Security’s job is never done. ' ’

With a nod and click of their heels, the two strolled away.

In the flower garden, the stu- dent, realizing they were serious, waved and called out, “Uh. Thanks Officers. Maybe we can have lunch sometime", then

\ promptly continued to denude the

patch for his'girlfriend.

I It was a lovely afternoon. The clouds were high up and fluffy, the sun was beaming, and it wasn't t-'~. cut for the tine of year. In tt.e,distance_, behind a residence, Ziff'and Ted could see flashing lights. people running around, and water being sprayed

Thigh into the air; Cars driven by

angry. mothers were speeding away with dieirchildren. .

“Well, lwonder why anyone those fire alarms". mm“; '» "r71 airtime, replied' Ted,

7-,f‘sometimes people get excited at

the smartest things.“ , _ "Yeah", said 2m, “i guess they will. Wonder what happened with that propane truck ...’.’ e JG, . - ,L. X , r