UPEI SUN November 11, 1982

“Hill”

A

The Gospel According to St. Cranston BOOK I: ORIGINS

In the beginning, God created the Campus, and saw that it was good. "But lo," He said into himself,"The Campus doth need something Else." And he did realize that he needeth Buildings. The thought didst not occur to Him that He did not know what Buildings were.

And so it came to pass that on the second day, He didst create En? gineers to design His Builings. And they did— st create the Buildings before the Second day was over, and indeed it

was good. ' "' 7

And on the Third day, the Engineers were thir- sty, and thus did God create Brew, for Hewas grateful. And the Engin- eers didst drug the Brew for it was good.

On the Fourth Day, when the Buildings hadst been built, and Brew hadst been chugged, and the Engineer's heads didst ache, God realized that the Campus needed more. He created Nurses and thus, Reproduction came to pass.

And. on the Fifth Day, God didst see that the Engineers need leader— ship, and thus He passed' His Revelations unto the humble Cranston Snord, who didst become Saint Cranston.

After Five Days of Hard Work, He was.extrene— 1y weary. And thus on the Sixth Day, He came to commit a grievious error. Instead of cre- ating High Life Forms, He breathed life into

stinking excretions of cattle, and Biologists, Business Students, and Artsies came into being. Lo and behold, He had made his first Mistake.

And on the Seventh Day, to repent for His

—.__._—_. ..

THE

Mistake, he didst create a Party, and the people rejoiced. And since He was on a Roll, he didst Party with

the People, and it,too, was good.

Good Jokes

What ended the leper card game? One leper threw his hand in and the rest of then laughed their heads off.

What stopped the leper

_ hockey game? There was

a face off in the corner.

OBAD JOKES

What do you do with a dog that has no legs?

. Take it for 'a drag.

lst Kid: "Let's go catch some frogs." 2nd Kid: "Where will we get the money to go to Quebec?"

What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The Wheelchair.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

You don't call him anything, he wouldn't ccme anyway.

Kids - Can Johnny cane

out and play baseball? Mother - But Johnny

ENGINEERS

M; E.” i 7

D \\ ' Funny taut", l' 1.0"— on]: 0 Hart ' Mm 0 a at. A '

be so easily fooled by this imposter. I believe his name is Carlos de Wetback. A few comments about this Business society. The whole bunch of you must be quite stupid. You elect a close relative to the Cow family as your president, and

we all know the mental capability of Moose is surely nothing to brag about. The Vice- president is another joke, elect a crziinjnall and he's reportedly rela related to the fowl f family. (notably the chicken). Your Junior y . class rep. i11 a fuzzy— headed little midget. i Sounds like the Muppet § show. Where's Miss Piggy,i you knobbers? This bleary eyed, drunken 1; Engineer would like to . congratulate you on your "original" test.

funk” “Alum, ..

1: REAMV ppu’r came I:

"Anna “quart; DON’T 511/6

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i It's all done 5 { WWW . before and It belongs I f“ A M. 5,“ mm‘ g not on these pages ; 2 » a: wem, firm I; ‘ l but in the garbage i "m" 7" W“ "155.9551 % It's been rumoured that i . '~ the Dizzy Business society; is the runaway favorite ‘ . ' .__._..__. ____L$_.___"£ °"““_‘__3fif‘__.-__-____.___i

again this year for the Brown-nosing honours. Take a good sniff because it's your brains you're smelling.

Guido Sanchez

doesn't have any arms and legs.

Kids — That's okay, we want him for first base.

GUIDO C(NMENI‘S ON DIZZY HJSINESS ZOO.

It has cone to my atte- ntion that there is an Artsie masquerading as an Engineer over at the Business society (if you can call it that). Obviously this person is wishing that he be a : somebody. We at the top find this amusing to know that the little

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minds over there can