February 18, 1997

@° The Panther Prints

editorial

Divide and conquer, it’s a standard military procedure. If your enemy is fighting amongst itself, you stand a better chance of winning. Macavelli knew this, Jean Cretien knows this, Pat Binns knows this, and so does Neil Henry. You probably recognise the first three names, but the fourth might be new. Neil Henry is the Vice President of Finance and Facilities here at UPEI, and he wants you to hate the administration. Let me explain.

The federal governmenthas putall money for healthcare, welfare and education into one block grant, the CHST. That way, they can cut money, and no one can blame them for any one cut. The responsibility is put onto the provinces. The provinces in turn make the sick, the poor and the students fight it out in the style of the Ultimate Fighting Challenge. One is reminded of Oliver Twist, “Please sir, may I have some more?” Divide the three main social lobbying groups, and you weaken them. Divide and conquer, Machivelli served cold.

Mr. Henry has learned from this example. In his new budget projections, he said that the provincial budget cuts will have to be split between staff and tuition. That means that the staff and the students are put in the position of fighting over the scraps that remain. This is where UPEI can set anexample, and the faculty and students can unite to fight these cuts.

All we nead is leadership, and that should come from the Student Union, but that is lacking. They were apparentely so impressed by song and dance routine that Mr. Henry put on that they ignored the substance. Maybe they were confused by his clothes, because anyone who wears a sweater can’t be bad. There stand was to plant themselves firmly on the fence, and by now Student Union President Chris Gray’s ass must be sore from all this fence sitting. For his sake, we hope it's nota picket fence. Time for the Student Union to reverse the trend, and change divide and conquer to unite and win.

KWD

oes not pro

| of the central values

DY Pet er Gillis

There isadisturbing trend happening in our society these days. It is a subtle trend -- very, very sneaky. It can ef- fectively be summed up as this: men suck. Men really, really suck. What did we do? Simple, our father’s and their fathers have spent the last fifty thousand years screwing up the world, starting wars, and constantly stealing the remote control. So now we have to pay. Don’t believe me? Then listen closely to a few exam- ples.

First there is Bill C-41, which is Canada’s new di- vorce law now being held up by the Senate. In it, new rules are proposed that would se- verely change the balance of power in child-support settle- ments. To begin with, women win about 77% of all custody battles in this country. As it stands now, the amount of child-supportthe non-custodial father pays to the mother is based upon the combined in- come of the parents. Once set, the amount can be changed as the level of income for one or the other party rises or low- ers.

Under the new law, child-support will be based upon the income of the father only, regardless of what the mother makes. Furthermore, if the father happens to re- marry, the income of his new spouse will be factored into the equation. If the mother

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remarries, her spouse’s income is ignored. The mother could be rich; but the father would still have to pay. To nail the final lid in their coffins, as of May Ist, the non-custodial parent can no longer deduct child-support payments on their income tax forms. Disgusted yet? Here’s a little more.

Remember when, afew years back, new rape legisla- tion was introduced in the House of Commons? Under its rules, it would have been considered statutory rape to have sex with an individual who was over the legal limit of impairment. What a brilliant idea! Lord knows that women never get men drunk in order to seduce them. Actually, I’m truly sorry it failed. It would have been interesting just to have a few beers, go home and masturbate, and then charge myself the next day. “How could I have known I would do that to myself your honour. I was drunk.”

Then there’s our own university’s current employ- ment equity policies. It goes like this: all things being equal, when a man and woman are up for the same job, in the name of fairness they will give the job to the woman. Sound fair to you? Here’s an idea: all things being equal, flip a coin. Better yet, have the best three out of five in scissors-paper- stone. If that’s not enough, when the man’s lucky enough

Sacred Cows

to get the job, they then have to spend the rest of their career worrying about harassment. Do you know what harass- ment is? Neither do I; but I’m sure we'll find out the day we’re charged with it. It’s inevitable. We’re men. Oh, the humanity.

I’m the worst kind of man: the kind who enjoys it -- revels in it. I love to hold doors open for women, offer them a seat, compliment them when they look especially beautiful. Inmy single days, when I asked them out for dinner, I expected to pay. I live forthe day when my wife can stop working and do whatever she wants. I buy my niece dresses and Barbie dolls, give my lover flowers. | follow women with my eyes and speak to them with re- spect because, in my mind, there is nothing, absolutely nothing more wonderful in this world than a woman. Nothing so elegant, nothing so mysteri- ous, nothing so intoxicating. Today, that belief makes mea pig.

Myoldmentoronce said something amusing to me. She was, by far, one of the classi- est and sophisticated people I have ever met. When dis- cussing equality and the death of chivalry, she offered this little tidbit:

“Equality? Personally, I consider it a step down.”

I’m beginning to see what she meant.

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