The ‘ " . Professors ..
Di ar ’ Monday: Today I got my first assignment in from Gallant, the smart—ass. Rum, distinctly rum. I had toldthe, class that I wanted the essay to be professional, to. contain the full apparatus critiCus of whiCh I had been at such‘ pains to explain the Week befOre. In response to this, apparently, Gallant headed his second page (after the title page) "Errata. " Under this was a single Cryptic entry: "p. 2: For Errata, ‘read Erratum. " I had a stiff drink after I read that. ,~ ’
Tuesday: _‘A pox on student’si'Who stop torask -. '~ questions after Class! Twice this week I have missed the beginning of Texas because of these beggarly mendicants, plucking at the hem of my garments. "Please, sir, what did you mean when
yousaid....?" "Uh, duh, like about this mark you gave ‘meeh....?“ .A pox I say. It's not
as if I‘dgn't have a thirty—second query period at the end‘of each lecture.
Wednesdaygj - Lazy morning until my lab. Just to keep my hand in, I tried writing a new computer program. program would print out a list of all programs“ that do not ever print themselves out.: Iiiwas‘igcurihus to see whether my program wouldgver itself out. .But‘i?seems the v’
A’ it . . p ‘y «are e . 3" =c—lo-s_e'3ll neefiifigs‘mitfi‘a cheerful faculty theme-song, of‘my own composition, sung to the tune of "There'll Always be an England:"
‘_"”I'here'll always be a Upee
‘ (If a/secnndary school),
And though not yet in CLIPE, y We stoutly work to rule.
This boosts Committee morale considerably , I find. , ‘ ‘
’5'“: .
. Friday; Am I wasting my time withthis diary?‘ Perhaps I'should start using these daily entries more constructiVely‘, as an exercise in p _ self—analysis. The unexamined life, as_"'Socfrates Qwas wont to say in his cups, is not worth " " ‘7 living. 77 But is“ suchyquestioning neurotic? ‘ ‘
used to decisive, for’exanple, but 4’
ms.
aw“ 1.... we» w». _.. a v iv a». mm. 7,» ».
The ,remgry 11. 1.982.. page 5
the thin man
Technocratlc Jocks?
I was watching the Wide World of Sports the other day and I noticed that these days they do not seem to» have any Mr. UniVerse, Mr. World, or Mr. Iowa contests anymore. A few years ago you could turn on Wide World almost every week and see these gentlemen smeared With Havcline Supreme Motor Oil flexing their biceps and. triceps.’ In the early seventies the Mohammad Ali of the Body Building genre Arnold SWarzenegger would constantly be lobbying about the beauty and
. grace of his profession. After a panticularly
heavy contest Arnie would be munching. on a rack
‘p of lamb and talking to Chris Scherhel or somebody.
During their interview Mr. Swarzenegger would come up with the immortal line, "I am an athlete, " saying it in such a manner that you thought there was a Nobel. prize for athletics. Arnold's position seems to present an important concept: are body' builders indeed
athletes? Now I may be ernc on this ( and you
can have my first born if I am) but it would appear that he is sadly miscaken. Herschel Walker Wayne Gretzky or Dr. J. , now those are athletes, but I’m afraid Arnie and the guys just don‘t
qualify. Have you ever seen Arnold‘go Skyward
for a tomahawk chunk? Are you kidding me, if , he even tried to drive the line for a reverse layup he would pull every last ligament to his name. Has Arnie ever tried to go in for the 440 high‘hurdles against top flight competition? That would not be a pretty sight. Finally, have you ever Seen the big guy go to the net for an overhead smash? The scene seems clear, he will be lying on the court racked with pain, Chris Schenkel will come over for an interview and
r scream",-‘"A‘rnold, what happened?" , "I don't"
know Chris, I tried to drive it to a spot, but
it hurt like hell-" If Amie tried to hit a cross court backhand let alone an‘overhead smash he would be in traction for a week. In summation it would appear that since .a) most body builders have trouble moving let alone playing sports and b) most have a vertical jump of 5 inches that they are not athletes but are simply-male versions of Christie Brinkly.
Authors note: Did you ever notice that whenever you were watching one of these important spectacles, that your sister would come into the room and exclaim such things as "disgusting" or "gross" and then sit down and watch?
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