The Adventures of Drunken Dragon by Marc MacDONALD

LocaTION: The Panther Lounge, The Barn.

COVER CHARGE: Zero, unless there is a band.

WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND: Karaoke, local music, movies, trivia, cover bands. PROBLEM: It’s dark, dingy, old, uncom- fortable, and I hate it.

First of all, let me say that I hate The Barn. Always have, always will. It was actually used as a fucking barn for the vet college at one time. Why it has remained our student union building for the past thirty years, I’ll never know. I will personally volunteer my time to assist in its destruction, with a pick, axe, or Nerf gun in hand when the time comes. Other than the fact that my parents may have met there while at UPEI (and quite possibly conceived the Drunken Dragon there) I feel no con- nection to the building at all.

1 have been going to school here for four years and have only been to the Panther Lounge a handful of times. I’ve enjoyed myself there a cou- ple times, but something just bugs me about the place. My first problem is the venue. This is not really the fault of the Student Union, since they have been asking for a new student center since sometime in between Moses’s exodus from Egypt and Jesus’s birth. But fuck, the bar there sucks ass.

I had fun watching the

Since there’s no trains in Char’town, I’m taggin’ the fuckin’ Barn.

Mechanicals or Windom Earle rock the house there, and I slamdanced and punched the ceiling during a few Flush shows. I even had the chance to hold a mic and spit some lyrics during a show Coolbreeze put on last summer. I shook my stankin’ ass (sometimes completely on the solo tip) while Pip Skid, Buck 65, the Raskalz and Kardinal Official each rocked the mic at the Ranch ... I mean the Barn on different occasions. These were kick-ass times and they will remain among my fondest memories of UPEI. However, I still hate the fucking

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It’s dark, smells bad, and the few chairs they have are uncomfortable. It is often either way too crowded or virtually empty. Many of the regulars are in attendance no matter who is play-

ing. This kind of support is good, but I

have also noticed that many of them seem to remain in their chairs the entire night, which sucks for whomever’s per- forming. The layout of the building is weird; the bathrooms smell during shows and never seem to be cleaned. Sometimes promoters will put on all-

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ages shows, which is good because a lot of UPEI’s campus consists of underage freshmen and freshwomen. The only problem is that upstairs sucks worse than the downstairs. : Now I know I am hating here and some of y’all love The Barn, but I am glad our class of 2002 is the last to graduate with the Bizzarn as our frig- gin’ student center. To me, the building is not the only problem. The mindset of its operators over the past few years annoys me as well. I discussed with a

past president whether or not the new

building would have a DJ booth. The answer was negative. The bartenders usually play whack jock rap-metal shit way too loud. If the operations manager knew what he was doing, a DJ would be spinning tunes at the new bar, not a disc changer or satellite broadcast.

Most of the’bar’s patrons live on or very close to campus. It’s too cold and expensive for them to travel down- town to dance. They have no choice but to go to Myron’s, however, because the Barn plays almost exclusively shitty Top 40 music. Some people just can’t groove to that. If the bar would play good dance, house, trip-hop, and hip- hop on certain nights, then they might be able to keep the place packed. Replacing The Barn with a new build- ing is a good step, but now they have to work on keeping students happy with decent music. ;

I. Drunken 4 life. —

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