PAGE 2 GROIN AND BEAR IT

Be a MAN -

by Ed Reed CADRE’S roving reporter

Hard on the heels of Fem- inine Deodorant Spray (for that “most girl part of you, the vaginal area”) comes Braggi for men. This prod— uct is designed to combat those worrisome odors in the groin area. So far this ad has appeared in Playboy and it seems only a matter of time before television advertising is employed to reach that great market of North Am- erican men who have offen- sive groin areas.

Obviously presenting such a product must be done with tact and good taste. Here is a look at how the advertising

agency might handle the set- '

ting up of the TV advertising campaign for Braggi.

B.V.: Come right in Hedge- row, have you got your ideas for the Braggi campaign?

Hedgerow: Yes sir, B.V., right here in my hot little hand I have the scenarios that are going to make Brag- gi a household: word.

B.V.: Hedgerow, do you think this stuff is really go- ing to sell, I mean isn’t it go- ing to be kind of embarras- sing for some guy to go into a drugstore and ask a female clerk for . . . uh . . . groin deodorant?

Listen B.V., how can it miss? We make it so any man can’t help but buy this stuff. I mean who would dare to

admit that he’s not as much of a man as he could be. We’ve got ’em over a barrel. We tell ’em everybody has groin odor and everybody is using Braggi, so they can’t take any chances. and; they rush out and buy Braggi to make sure they won’t stand out in a crowd.

B.V.: You’re sure of course Hedgerow, let’s take a look at your story ideas.

Hedgerow: Right you are, B.V.

No 1 The scene: a luxur- ious bachelor apartment. The lights are turned down low. On the couch, in tight em- brace, sit a handsome, well- dressed young man and a voluptuous blonde who is moaning softly. Camera. zooms in on the young man’s face.

Voice (a low, seductive fe- male voice): Hey guy, are you sure you have all the protection that you need, for those intimate moments alone with that ‘special someone’? Sure you’ve b r u s h e d your teeth with the sweetest~ smelling toothpaste, stopped your bad breath with a good mouth-wash, slapped on your after—shave, plastered your- self with underarm deodorant and! doused yourself in the sexiest male body cologne. But haven’t you forgotten about one area that’s still un- protected? What about those quiet moments of fellatio that you both enjoy so much? You

may offend with groin odor. So be sure and spray every day with Braggi. Braggi eliminates t h o s e gnawing doubts every guy is bound to have when he’s with that ‘certain someone.’

'If you think you don’t need Braggi you’re only kidding yourself. (Fade out) /

No. 2 The scene: the dres-. sing room of the Chicago

Black Hawks after a game.

Players are stripping off hockey gear and' yelling bois- terously. Camera zooms in on Bobby Hull sitting on a bench

in the corner; he looks up and

smiles boyis-hly.

Bobby: You know hockey is a real fast, exciting game. Out there on the ice is where the going gets tough and the tough get going. All night it’s skate, skate, skate and you better believe that things get pretty steamy down in the old groin area. That’s why most big leaguers use B ra g gi Private Deodorant Spray before every game. Braggi keeps you fresh and wholesome in that all—import- ant groin area. Believe me, friends, a man shouldn’t be caught without his Braggi. (Bobby holds up a container

, CHARLOTTETOWN, P. E. L,

use BRAGGI .

of Braggi, smiles! and fades out.)

No. 3 The Scene: The front hallway of a typical suburban home. A woman in her mid- thirties, typical s uburban housewife type. A man, about thirty with horn-rimmed glasses andl an anxious and harried look on his face. An adorable little girl about six with blonde hair tied up in pigtails. The woman greets the man at the door. The adorable little girl stands back and watches.

Man (hugging woman af-.

fectionately): Gee, it’s great to see you, Sis. How have ya been?

Woman: It’s marvellous to

see you too, Bil.

Bill (picking up the ador-

‘ able little girl in his arms,

hoisting her playfully above his head and then setting her down again): And how’s my

. favorite niece? Have you been

a good girl, Candy?

Candy (standing close to Bill, sni-ffs the air several times and wrinkles her" little button nose in distaste) : Gee, Mommy, Uncle Bill smells funny.

Sis (mortified): Candy!

Bill: No, it’s okay, Sis.

FEBRUARY 3. 1970

(pregnant pause) groin odor.

Sis: Well, why don’t you do something about it, Bill?

Bill: What can I do, Sis? I wash three times a day al- ready. I guess it’s hopeless.

Sis:" You silly goo s- e. Haven’t you heard; about the new Braggi masculine hy- giene deodorant for men? Hank uses it all the time. He says that it makes him feel fresh all day, more confident, more of a man.

Bill: Sis, I’ll try it!

(Fade out. Fade in.)

Scene: Living room of the same house. The woman is sitting in chair by the fire knitting. Bill is sitting on the sofe with Candy cuddled up to his crotch, he is reading to her. _

Candy: Gee Uncle Bill, you smell real nice now.

Bill (holding up container of Braggi): Yes, thanks to Braggi. ~B.V.: Not bad, Hedgerow, not bad at all. The North American male is going to have to use Braggi whether he wants to or not. Braggi is going to be a blockbuster.

Hedgerow: Right as al- ways, B.V.

Winter Carnival Opens Feb. 4

Wed" Feb. 4, 4:30—Mayor officially opens carnival. A sing-song and a Leg Auction followed by a to-rchlight par— ade - featuring “BERNARD”, bands, lots of floats, and of course the princesses. The popular ‘Saints’ play Down- town while the ‘Suds Stop’ is at Malpeque. Both shows start at 9:30 p.m. ‘Rig and Whistle’ theme with a hon- key—tonk piano 19” of ice sup- ports the skate at the North River Causeway from 12:30 to exhaustion ‘with a. mam- moth bonfire for those with cold feet.

Thurs., Feb. 5 — Main En- tertainment: Confederation Center 7:30 p.m. and 10:00 o’clock pm. featuring Rotary Connection the baroque-rock group; Ester Marrow, whose background with Harry Bela- fonte and Duke Ellington is evident in her performance, and John Hammond who, at 23, is the leading whitesblues singer in North America to- day.

The Jolly Knight is open

’till 1:00, free admittance to all carnival-(pass holders with ID; at 12:30. there is a horror show at the Capitol—the 425 seat capacity results in a first come first serve basis. Fri., Feb. 6—Keeping with the spirit is a Varsity hockey game against Moncton at' 3 o’clock. The Crescendos set a pace for the Ball which will display the loveliest decora- tions ever. 9:30-2:30 Imme- diately following, a party at Monty Hall. All pass-holders welcomed. Party ends with a pancake breakfast Saturday morning. ’ ‘

Sat., Feb. 7 — Girls Varsity Basketball team do th eir thing Saturday afternoon and morning: Saturday evening gives everybody a chance to do their thing with; Trevor Payne Soul Review: afro~soul at its very best. Show starts 9:30 p.m. at the Rec. Center.

Sun., Feb. 8 — Varsity hoc- key 2 o’clock at Malpeque. U.P.E.I. vs. Moncton. Var- iety shows at 7 and 9 Con- federation Centre — Take off

on Rowan and Mantin’sLaugh In with a University theme. Promises to be great. (See special adl below).

Day by day activities in- clude such activities as ping- pong, pool, grand prix, bridge pie—eating contests, in- which contestants hands will be tied behind their backs. Garbage bowl, male, female whose

ankles are tied together. Pow— ' :

der-puff international a n d faculty hockey etc.

There will be a day—by-day report on activities. Passes are now on sale in Malpeque and Downtown Coffee Shops and in the Student Store at $6.00 each. Individual tickets

are also on sale for main en'-

tertainment. ball, and variety show at the Confederation Center.

Carnival Buttons will be .,' out on Wednesday, January ) 28th. Listen to C.F.C.Y. for Rotary Connection. E s te'r Marrow and John Hammond, we know you’le like them. Further details- next issue. ‘

(who else?)-

/

\ crisy and puking. The

“EXCITING” “INCONGRUOUS” “ABSORBING” “GROSS”

That’s what people are saying about CAPTAIN BEAR- HEART’S NEUROTIC FANCIES wh0‘will be headlmmg UPEI’s Winter Carnival Variety Show.

Acclaimed as Canada’s finest asylum-rock aggregation,

they specialize in rock, roll, soul, metaphysics, crusades, hypo- group is presented by the Bear Party,

(watch for the BEAR MANIFESTO, coming next week) ‘