Assumption #1: The Soviet Union and its puppet regimes would love to shoot down a passenger plane if it infringes within a kilomet“. of their airspace.

Assumption #2: American right—wingers would love to destroy the Sand i nista government of Nicaragua.

Assumption #3: There is a dangerous amount of chemi- cal and nuclear wastes await— ing permanent disposal in the United States, causing envi- ronmentalists to put un— wanted political pressure on the government.

With these assumptions in mind, I hereby'put forth a modest proposal for the destruction of Nicaragua and the simultaneous disposal of hazardous chemical and nuclear wastes.

I suggest a large passenger plan, such as a 747, could be appropriated and gutted to allow maximum cargo space. A remote or automatic guidance system may be in- stalled, as the aircraft should be unm“ *‘ed.

5: seems to somt that environmentahsrs only care about pollution within their own country and totally ignore pollution in foreign underdeveloped countries: e.g. Nicaragua.

The passenger plane, prev- iously mentioned, could be filled with PCBs, dioxins, other dangerous compounds, and finely powdered radio- active waste.

The plane could then be flown towards the capital of Nicaragua at top flight speed and at a high altitude. The Sandinista government could then order the destruction of the “spy” plane. (Refer to assumption #1.)

The destruction of the plane would "105‘ probably result in a deadly rain of PCBs, dioxins, and finely powdered plutonium. These substances, given enough time, may result in cancer. , gentic defects, death and other side effects, and thus should bring on the downfall of the Sandinista government. This would probably please American right-wingers. (Refer to assumption #2.)

Since there will be signi- ficant reduction in the total amount of hazardous wastes awaiting disposal in the United States, the environ- mentalists will be pacified and therefore not put poli- tical pressure which is un- wanted by government. (Refer to assumption #3.) This will be appreciated by

some congressmen

and craft was obviously not a spy

senators, regardless of politi- Plane (due to the nature 0f its

cal affiliation.

Furthermore, any outcry against the United States can be silenced by the following statement: “Any truly peace- loving country would not shoot down an unarmed passenger aircraft. The air-

cargo). Destroying the air- craft was an irresponsible act of terrorism. This is proof that the government of Nicaragua is a threat to world peace. If they (the Nicara-

guans) did not destroy the plane, this disaster (the “acci- dental” spillage of hazardous

' Appal

wastes) would not have happened.”

This process may be re- peated a number of times, providing a safe and per- manent disposal site for hazardous wastes and simul- taneously destroying com- munism without military action.

There is also a beneficial

side-effect to this proposal: the jungles of Nicaragua could provide an ideal site for the testing of new defoliants to replace the antiquated, controversial. and inadequate Agent Orange once the indigenous population has been eliminated.

By Eurekus A. Goodfellowe

A .7ng fly Mm; meow

This Is A Menu?

“Saga”: (definition) an old horror story. The connota- tions of their name are end— less.

What is this? For all of the information that is given us, we could be eating retreaded props from The Return of the Living Dead. Let’s take a look at this weeks menu and try to figure out what is really

there. Ok — on Wednesday, September 25th, you can expect a “Panther Burger”. Does this mean that a panther was imported via air cargo to P.E.l. from central Africa? What kind of nutritional value can we expect from this burger? Hmmm it doesn’t say I wonder why ...?

On September 24th, you

mama"

3M 4.40 To

Lamp.) To (use ms veeetaett’s A

Lime H098 THO «GOGHL‘I .

I mer

WV... ragge-

may break your teeth on a clam shell in your “Seafood Platter”. Perhaps we should expect the leftovers from a can of industrial strength lampreys? We’ll never kno until we ask ‘ Personally, I can’t wait until Sunday the 22nd. That is the day when they offer the “chicken on a bun”. Which

r part of the chicken can we

expect, and whose bun are they going to serve the chicken on anyways ...? Mmm, mmm good!

I have used quite a fe'w exaggerations in this article, but. they are all for a good reason. We the students pay a

relatively large percentage of 1

our “income” to feed our- selves. We would like to know exactly WHAT we eat. A one-line explanation, such as “Fillet of Haddock Paris- ienne” tells us nothing. May- be they like their fish raw in Paris!? We don’t.

In the future, we would appreciate a small explana- tion of the list menu items. I am sure that Saga Foods is proud of it’s menu items, so they should not deem it ne- cessary to hide behind non- descriptive names. Also, the nutritional content of the menu items should be avail- able upon request. We’re requesting.

Let us pray for the food that we are about to receive.

Amen. . . . , . Don Lane

Tery Fox

.7 m 3 (D c O O t‘D en en

The first UPEI Terry Fox Run was a great success! There were over 85 partici- pants, including the UPEI' Panther many sports teams (soccer, basketball, hockey), and one very well represented residence: Marian Hall. The spirit was high and a super effort by all made the run a big success. The run was officially opened by UPEl President Dr. CWJ Eliot and RE]. Youth Ambassador,, Billy MacMill'an. '

We wish "to extend Our sincere appreciation to all'

volunteers, participants and anyone else who helped out in any way! , We would like to remind all participants to return their money and pledge sheets to the Student Union Office by September 25, 1985. Please make an effort to meet this deadline.

We hope to see you all out

. next year to. .help make Karen Blacquiere

’ Terry’s dream a reality. & Miles Turnbull