10's CK’AMPHSKONDERN ~

A Parking Myth

Did you know that a visitor is not really a visitor? Do you also realize that the visitOrs parking lot is only for a rare breed of visitor?

First of all, I'll state a few cases based on the common defination 0f the word "visitor". A girl, not registered here as a student, with New Brunswick plates on her car, comes to Bernadine to visit a friend. She parks in the visitors Parking area, and when she leaves to go home she has a $2.00 ticket on her car. How about this one? Person driving another person to the library to return books. He has Que- ,bec plates on his car. Then he makes the fatal mistake of deciding to go in with her to see libr— ary; Twenty minutes later comes back and finds a ticket on his car. (Here, you must admit that our boys in blue are really efficient, a ticket be- fore twenty minutes! Just think.what could happen if your car was there all day!) ‘ 7

For a hypothetical case,

bsuppose you're somebody who isn't registered here, but comes to see every sports event and possibly works out a couple of hours a week in the gym. He parks in the visitors parking lot. ‘

Now that we have these three different cases, what do you think? Are they "eligible" to park in visitor parking areas?

Well, I found out, dir- ectly from the horses mouth, that none, NONE of these people are eli— gible to park there, in the eye of any and all security officers. Acc- ording to the rules (laws?) of the Security force - Section B part (1) , "Parking on campus is permitted only in the Parking areas (Lots A,

B, C, D, and‘E). These areas are for the use of students, faculty members, and staff members. '

Certain other parking areas on campus have been marked as "Visitors Par- king" and are solely for the use of,visitors to the campus on business."

Can you tell me how > 1 many people if they're not visiting or watching a Sports event etc. are

at U.P.E.I. on business? When I asked Security what their definition of "business" was, I heard this, "someone who dona- tes money to the Univer— sity". Can you believe it? Maybe it' s a "cap— italist" scheme to change their name from capital— ist to visitor. To par- aphrase the whole thing - you can't park in Visitor Parking areas unless you

' have a cheque of $X doll- Vars payable to U.P.E.I.

Then again, I asked Security where real vis- itors can park on campus; visitors meaning persons

Iwho do not work, teach,

or pursue their educat-V ion here. Believe it or

.not - all lots except

those for visitor parking! In fact that's a blatant contradiction of the sec-

This article is written in retrospect of last years' room alotments.

Spring has come upon us and with its arrival, applications to residence in Bernadine Hall are submitted. This year a change has been imple- mented - no room draw. The administration has declared that the rule first come, first served will now and from hence forth on apply. This is the first noble attempt by the administration to rid the University of its caste system — you know, the rights and priorities attached to upperclassmen and women.

A meeting is called for each floor and on that appointed hour the res—

:idence applications are hurridly snatched by the

women. From this.time on the "battle of the single room" is legally declared in full progress. The weapons of this battle are pen, application form and the agility of each of the persons involved. Advantageous positions in this battle are giv— en to those women whose rooms are closest to the, room of the Don and to those who are most ath— letically inclined.

A cease fire is dec- lared shortly afterward for 100 Bernadine women

tion of the Security and

'Traffic Regulation Hand-

book quoted earlier in this article. Only stud— ents, faculty and staff members may use these lots. Cars with no stic— kers are warned and later ticketed if they park there. I guess there's just no room for legit— imate visitors here at our Island Institution. They will either have

to walk up here to visit, or leave their cars par— ked on the highway (which is illegal). You folks

in residence will have

to tell your parents,boy/ girl friends and friends about this situation.

I would like to hear your comments on this Visitor Parking situat— ion. Something's got to be done about it.

who have shown their prowess in the art of war. Each arrived at exactly the same day, hour, minute and second to their Don's room with application in hand. It is now up to the admin— istration to Clarify

the existing stalemate on the Bernadine battle— field. They must ascert— ain how they will provide 100 women with single rooms, since there are only eleven such rooms in existance. After coun— tless hours of pondering this complex, vexing and somewhat disturbing pro- blem; four courses of action are being consid— ered to remedy this sta—

lemate.

The four plans are as follows: . 1) Cutting a deck of ca- rds — ace high, making the suit of hearts the high suit, followed by spades, then clubs and lastly diamonds. How- ever one of the snares in this course of action is that there are only 52 cards and there are 100 girls, 2) The throwing of dice is another feasibility. The only forseeable com- plication is the amount of dice needed to give each girl a fighting ch— ance and of course the mathamatical prowess of the commanding adminis—

The Cadre, Sept 24, 1974’ Pg~ 5

This week's "Poke in the Ribs" goes to Bill Chandler. Bill, what's a dead-line? When are the yearbooks going to be here?

tration.

3) Pinning the names of all the girls on a wall and then throwing darts at them. The closest to the middle of the paper would win. However I hear the administration people are keen dart players and a lot of ties could insue from this. _

4) Putting all the names

in a hat, including those

applications reCeived during‘the summer vacat- .ion, and drawing eleven out was the last course of action if all else ’failed and it is probably the most feasable.

To each woman who has fought in this battle, may I commend you on the spirit in which you fou— ght, on your courage and stamina, on your athletic agility and on your fair play.

May the best eleven women win and may the others rest in peace!

Respectfully submitted Colleen Warren '7‘