Heavenly Bodies Gene Loves Jezebel (BMG)

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Dead Enz Kids Doin' Lifetime Bidz Young Black Teenagers (MCA)

The Discard List

by S. Livingstone

The generous music editor at the X.Press has once again given me the honour of reviewing a couple of albums which he has deemed far too

. pathetic for his critically acclaimed column,

High Fidelity. He and I share very different musical tastes as I have mentioned in the past (I cannot trust someone who believes grunge is “‘just a trend’’) [J never said that. -- Ed.], and thanks to this I have been given the pleasure of evaluating some fine releases. This occasion, however, did not compare to similar past expe- riences for he has given me the dreadful task of reviewing Heavenly Bodies, the newest release from Gene Loves Jezebel, and the Young Black Teenagers’ Dead Enz Kids Doin’ Lifetime Bidz.

Gene Loves Jezebel held certain appeal back in the eighties when they had a single on the Some Kind of Wonderful soundtrack,. but from this album it is readily evident that the band is having difficulty with progression into the current decade. The music is bland and fails to captivate the listener, the sound is dated, and to top it all off, the album cover is really bad so the visuals cannot even be depended upon to win over the naive into purchasing a copy. Heavenly Bodies has little chance of success- fully bringing this has-been band into the nine- ties. Resist the temptation to purchase this album even if you find yourself being sucked in

ENTERTAINMENT

by slick promotion at one of those mall record stores.

The next album is, in a word, vile. The Young Black Teenagers, or YBT as they call themselves in a futile attempt to have an ‘‘ini- tial’’ effect on the masses, should be commended for choosing the worst album title of the year. Are these young hip hop boys oblivious to the fact that they are a relatively new band in an overwhelming and sometimes volatile market and that a simple easy-to-remember title would allow for word-of-mouth advertising to occur much quicker in junior high schools across the country? Apparently so. After reading the band’s name and upon browsing through the tape jacket, I observed that every member of the band is very, well, white. That is unless Michael Jackson’s skin problems are much more preva- lent in society than previously acknowledged. To end this review, as I have given enough free and gracious advertising to this group, I just have one brief comment to make. In the credits YBT (I have been sucked into that initial thing) thanks a number of very reputable groups in- cluding House of Pain (!!), but the album re- mains extraordinarily unappealing. Bizarre.

There you have it. Two albums to avoid thus saving more cash to invest in more worth- while causes like the weekend. This column is sure to return as a multitude of discards are probably in production this very moment. @