OVEMBER 9, 2004

Summerside - Arcade =

Gus and Chet Sundance ontributors

Sundance kids here report- g from the beautiful County Fair all in Summerside, Prince dward Island. We're inquiring bout the student concern or DIS- ONCERN for local arcades. ere has been a lot of buzz ound campus. Students com- ents range from "an arcade is an cade" to "get the hell away from e, you arcade rats." Well these ts did their research. Recent stud- s from Tokyo Japan (conducted y SCIENTISTS) show that arcade venues have reached record ghs in 2004 (10,000+ Yen). After rchasing our VIP passes and ith these newfound statistics on - ind, we traveled to the County bir Mall expecting a long lineup hind the Cruisin' USA gaming rminal. To our disbelief, the cade was as tame as a circus onkey that had undergone years brutal lashings at the hands of ghly abusive animal trainers. is was obviously odd when we nsidered the facts.

The booming metropolis of immerside parallels Tokyo in Any ways. For example: industry, cer size, advances in computer

hnology, and so on. So you derstand why we may have pected a flock of Asian youth, bcking about in their game-crazy bckery, But instead we were *eted by a slightly overweight llcasian man (mopping vomit, | less) bearing an eye-catching escent fanny-pack, and two

€-ridden adolescents exchang- 8 bodily fluids.

We then proceeded to cir- late throughout the premises but ‘te left dumbfounded and disori- led. After discussing our current

ation, we were forced to con-

A Society in Shambles

sult with our one true and wise friend, the information superhigh- way (the Internet, for those who can't adapt to our brilliant lingo). While on the net, we stumbled upon a tasty little treat of informa- tion. It turns out that there is a sig- nificant correlation between the decrease in local arcade activity and the fall of our beloved YTV programming tyrant. We, of

course, are referring to the skillful-

ly-crafted Video and Arcade Top 10.

So we went to work. After consulting our extensive library of Video & Arcade Top 10 tapes, we discovered the root of their prob- lems. In the late 90s, Canada was starved for a superstar in the gam- ing world. We needed the equiva- lent of the wrestling world's Rowdy Roddy Piper. But Canada grew impatient with their heavyset unkept host, and began to reject its bountiful gaming tips.

Armed with a plethora of gaming wisdom, we again set out to the County Fair Mall in an effort to educate the gaming community instead of fulfilling our own selfish need to game. Once again, we were greeted by the same three locals exchanging and mopping up bodily fluids. But this time we were ready to spoon-feed them a delicious bow! of knowledge. After hours of failed attempts, it became evident that there was no getting © through to these locals. In disgust, we left concluding that the town of Summerside has eaten up and shit out the possibility of a successful arcade. The foundation that once supported our economy has been broken down along with the dreams of individuals like our- selves... THE SUNDANCE KIDS!

THE CADRE - 7

Extreme Make Over: Campus Edition!

Parking Disruptions May Occur

Sorry, Ty Pennington wont be here to unveil the new and improved UPEI campus, but I am sure everyone has noticed our campus has been undergoing some serious renovation and construction. And it is not bad enough that our pictur- esque campus now looks like a project for "Bob the Builder", but with each new project seems to come a reduction in parking avail- ability. Hey, I am no math major, but I do know that when student enrollment is increasing and park- ing spaces are decreasing, nothing good can come out of it.

And to make things worse, we seem to be being tortured this year by some sort of weather bomb that doesn't wanna leave. Soon we will see students freezing in their tracks while getting out their car that they somehow managed to park (illegally) between snow banks. The point of driving to school is to AVOID the elements, but as our parking situation becomes more and more of a prob- lem, we will be doing everything but avoiding the PEI winter.

But, we are told not to worry! If you act fast, you can

Julie Bull Reporter

but they are extending it for us because of our current parking dilemma. Ahhh, how nice of them! So, it sounds great! But....as with everything that sounds too good to be true, there is always a catch! There are a very limited amount of spaces available there, it costs more, you cannot use it to park anywhere else on campus, and by the time you are reading this, the passes are probably gonna be all gone.

There have been rumors buzzing around campus as to the measures being taken to ensure student parking, most of which are simply rumors. So for now, all that stands is that we have been given more time to purchase a CARI pass and return our UPEI pass.

So, I guess my efforts to solve UPEI's parking problem has not really been solved, but it seems that best we can do is remember that short term pain results in long term gain, even though most of us will not be around to see the final product of our extreme campus make over! But look on the bright side, we could be faced with

return your UPEI parking pass and _human-eating monsters that sleep purchase one from CARI, with under our bed (hey, it could hap- guaranteed parking. According to _pen!), so having to get up a few the Department of Finance and minutes earlier, or car pooling to Facilities, this exchange was sup- _get a spot to park doesn't seem posed to be over on October 22nd, quite so bad. BEST SUMMER JOB EVER! KEN NT Woop

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