+Seat By Matthew Dorrell

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Destination Wolfville, Or Not

No matter what I might pre- tend, being a travel writer is not all sunshine and glory. Some weeks the words won’t appear, ‘and trust me, it’s much more difficult when you have to find them yourself.

I am home, hiding from the weather which is miserable, windy and cold. But inside the only thing chilled is my beer, and all is well. I am peeping through my curtains, watching a neighbour try and res- cue his van from the parking spot holding it hostage. I should help, but I won’t. He lives above me and has heavy, loud footsteps. He can rescue his own damn vehicle.

Thad a plan for my column this week. I did. I was going to write about Wolfville - it would have sounded a lot like this:

"I was prepared to dislike Wolfville. The tentative title for this column was "Wolfville - Third armpit of the Maritimes." (The first two armpits being Sydney and Moncton.) Whether it was due to the uncommon beauty of my fellow travellers (true), my own dedication to travel writing (not even remotely

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true), or the fact that I am being reimbursed for the voyage (appar- ently true), it turns out I like Wolfville..."

I could have written about Wolfville, and maybe I still will, but not this week. :

My second plan was to write about the ECMAs (I know, I know, it required travelling no more than four blocks) - it would have sounded a lot like this: __

"Tonight I am at Fishbone’s café and rock and roll is in the air. It hangs there like smoke - makes my lungs hurt. Windom Earle is about to take the stage and hopes are high for the new line-up. Tonight Windom Earle is featuring the baddest rhythm section in Charlottetown: Brody Read from Port Citizen on the bass, Mike McDougall from Eyes _ for Telescopes and Jon Holmes (also from Port Citizen) on percussion. As always LL Coolbreeze does the talking, yelling and masterminding, as well as some limited booty shak- ing. >

By the end of the set the entire crowd is bouncing with abandon and “Beefchowmein” is over entirely too quickly. Coolbreeze closes the show by set- ting an inflatable plastic guitar on fire, Jimi Hendrix style. He will not be invited to play here again...

And so it would go. But there is, and has been, plenty of ECMA coverage in this fine publi- cation already.

‘Outside I can hear car horns, then people, yelling at each other. Either the roads are still icy, or yet another driver has ignored one of the two new stop signs recently installed by the city of Charlottetown. (This city seems to have no end of hatred for yield signs and two-way stops). I can’t quite see the intersection through the window and I’m much too warm and lazy and to go outside and see all the commotion first

hand.

No, [ll not be going outside again today. It might look impres- sive to have icicles frozen into one’s eyebrows, but it does not feel pleasant - once in a day is plenty. I will content myself with experienc- ing the storm as a member of the audience and not an active partici- pant. Besides, I have much to do. There’s this column I have to write.

Next Issue: Depends a lot on whether I end up anywhere exciting during “Reading Week.” Just

between you and me, the travel budget has been skimpy of late. Rumour has it The Editor has been skimming off the top again.

No Cleavage This Week

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