Iv JOIN IEKENNA

ldtnd a door marked "Manag- ing Director." 8. Clause of Claus International Inc.. Toy and Novelty Manufacturers and Wholesale Dis- tributors. was engrossed in his ex- port order book.

He stabbed at a bell-push on his desk with a plump. red forefinger. An eltin figure with pointed ears and heavy horn-rimmed spectacles scurried into the office. "Sir?" it queried.

"See here," said 8. Claus. "who in the name of Christmas is Ivan Ivanovlteh Grodnodski of Rzhev? And what does he mean putting through an order for one junior spec 'a suit and one gamma ray disintegrator pistol? I can't find him listed anywhere as an ac- credited retailer."

The elf shuffled his feet- he isn't, sir." he said. p

I. Claus's beard bristled. "What do you mean 'he isn't'?"

"Just that, Mr. Claus. sir hn't an accredited retailer." .

"Then. what." d e in a n d e d S. sinus in an ominous whisper. "is

...

"I think he's a schoolboy. Mr. Claus. sir."

I. Claus exploded. "Look here. Grogsblossoin. you've been here long enough to know that Claus International Inc- the ponounced It in capitals, all but the "Inc.", that is) deals only with the trade. , "Yes. air. It. Claus, air. But you see Rshev is in Russia . .

S. Claus's normally ruddy com- plexion turned the colour of crust- ed port. "rusaia." he said in a husky little voice just like that. "Russia . -. RUSSIA! l" He tried the word out for size. but didn't Item to like it any better. "Grogsbiossornl" he thundered. "don't you know that this concern has no dealings with these . . .theee p . . Jhese . . . people?

Don't you know that they called no a deviatloniat myth of the ca- pitalist bloodsuckersi Don't you ' know that eh? Eh?"

Grogsbloesorn queued. '"Anyway." I. Claus went on in a quieter tone, "there's all this lluslness of ombargoes and ex- change difficulties and import rea- I-lotions."

He -1.

”Sir,

HQ

' his fingers on the esk and stared at the scrap of -vertorafroman exercise book . on which Ivan Ivanovitch Grad- aodski of Rshev had written in big.

"airlstmae Ive." he said Vflli Vorbhw raised his eye-

l'eaoI.'PIio Guardian Monday 1343. 13. 1955 i

Red

Christmas

JOIN IGXENNL

Georgi grinned and got up frnm' his desk "Light out there." he said. "Looks like a customer - pardon. me comrade, like a citi- zen - waiting to be served."

A giant sleigh had pulled up out- side. The light came from one of' the eight reindeer w a smug look- ing reindeer with a vast red nose

Georgi opened his book and he . recorded myths. gas to write. "One sleigh. eighllresi them. ' reindeer. five elves and one . . '

He left the space blank. -Claus's forms and

"Yes. comrade." he said polile- He had at least ly. "Anything to declare? '

transport. The

Ministry of Myths iliourgeois Re-. actionary, Peoples Ruin for thc in- citing nf Section! and so on and mi.

The Transport people said that non-existent hyenas couldn't need police non-existent prrsons couldn't lci:al- patiently. For, as he had suggested

ly 0Cl"Il'l.V SDHVP in tho r'Plls Th? to Grogsblossom. the matter was Ministry of 'livtli.n said they

Wearily, Vassili

Children's Christmas

Do let the children have fun and enjoyment on their own day.

You'd better be prepared for the fact that two and three-year-olds are not at all likely to rush tor

:4 their packages or to open one after

another with wild delight.

The tour and five-year-olds may do it that way. but even they're likely to become absorbed in some one thing. and atop to play with it before going to the next pack- age.

Some children. of course. do get so excited that they'll rush from one u urn. LU .lotlicr last . i to satisfy the usually impatient adult. But most. if left to them- selves. do it their own way. stop- ping and investigating as they go

If there's a baby too young to open his own things. the waiting parents can have some of their fut. upenint his packugy. l":' ' But if a child is old enough to un- wrap his own. let him have the fun and the time to enjoy doing it

You have to be prepared for pos- sibl- ulsaopointments Ho. l'llc -loll that has been so carefully dressed may immediately have her clothes ripped off. Doll clothes are only in the way for two and three-year olds. and even for some four and five-year-olds.

Knowing that. it's better to pro vidc a few strips of gaycoldred cloth to wrap the doll in. saving the time it takes to make the clothes until a later day

Don't be surprised either if some simple little gift is more appreci- atcil than an elaborate one. Or if a child turns from his new toy to an old one.

it takes time for some young- sters to get used to new things.

V - And they'll have a happier Christ-

mas if you remember that Sanit- Claus Felongs to them.

There are two Christmas is- lands. One is an atoll in the Gil- berl and Ellice islands. The oth-, er lS a British possession in the” Indian Ocean.

l l

sir." S. Claus lit a cigar "Tell him to wait. I may talk to him in an

said that,

only

they rnuldn't ar-

s i a m p ed S let him through

SN

”0ne junior spaceman's suit and - Claus was non-cxistcnt and mcry-l

one gamma ray disintezrator."ll-lllllg he had with Georgi repeated. "That was disint-lmal trapping of

him -- "All nor- Ihc myth." the

hour or so."

S CLaus finished his cigar. lit another. finished that. He read The Times and Wholesale Toy Distri-. hutors' Annual. '

Then he picked up the telephone.

Mr. Bulganuschev was waiting

very important indeed. - "You say you have a problem?" S Claus asked amiably- "You say small boys all over the;

lcounlrv are demanding lu n l o r; thers yet beams with affection and 20! one clear Cllspacemcn's suits and gamma rayexcitement. ,clsion from all the ministries '

disintegrators? - ; "Why don't you send them to Siberia-7" 1 "You say there are 6.238.471 ot-

egrator. you said? Never can getiMyth people assured him a must them and it woud be awkward?t used to the labels on this stuff the be non-existent. too.

M.V.D. orders.

He dcvoutly hoped that Ivan Iva- "And who's it for" Ivan Grod- noviich Grndnorlski was

pretty

nodski, Rzhev? l'm afraid I'll havc llilll UP ln llw M V D

to check that against the official list later. comrade-

"M e a n w h i l e you're papers please.

"What? You haven't got any. SMS - and who Say you don't need any? Most lr-lBUll-ZanUSt'l16V just regular. comrade. Of course, I;C0I'lfllSi0n among understand that with this kind or got to his desk shipment unusual carriers are of- Already lllr tel

it was lla rely

check. lin as the other

"Name?"

der. But he wrote "5. Claus" riuti-l fully on the form. He thought for a moment andjthe brilzhl red then he decided that the spacej-desk. He waited where he had been tempted to

better be left blank.

"Just wait a moment. will you. comrade?" he asked. "I really of S. Vorlslov."

Inside. Vassili read through the "A Mr.

reaction he had left 1. He went to the shelf and look- down the massive "8" volume of the "People's Guide to Reartionary Myths and Misleading Devialinnist Fiction tincluding a Full Guide to Capitalist Hyenasi."

"Claus. S." he read in ii lnw measured tone. "A devialionisi myth of the capitalist system, . non-existent person used extensive. l ly by capitalist hyenas lo .. " l He stopped. "Non-exi.stenl," said. "That's the point. "lpanvotchsky." he roared "You I know there's no provl.-iicm in the constitution for the admission of.

he

telephone on llisl

was clearly out of carshnt. write "man" on the inventory had he dialled a sccrcl number-

ln thc managing dircclnr's ufticc A Claus international inc. must check all this with Comrade Claus S81 and waited.

the

(la wn wlwtl

-heerful bald-pated lliilo man who was the Commissar of all Commis-

called himself to create a littlcp his front men s1

eiznams and the

ten employed. But l'll have to phone messages had begun in pnuri

Commissars 112- l

jertcd the massive corrcspondcnce Georgi's eyes opened with wnn- about Ivan Ivanovitch Grndno(lskl.l

The Commissar of all Connnis-p .sars read it quickly and pickcd up

until everyone Thrn

the "He says it's L

s H 0 P P I N G ? ' - WE HAVE -- RUST CRAFT CHRISTMAS CARDS

Novelty Candles. Wax Tapers in many colors.

"You say there are 6.233.471 of. them and it would be awkward? p Quite. And besides you want It gamma ray dlsintegraior yourself?

"l see. You're an accredited. whnlesaler?' You own all of Bus- sia? How's your credit?

"Yes. quite. You can guarantee distribution? Ah. yes. Rather irre-' guitar of me I admit. I don't usu- ally deal with individuals and I, think I may not need to again. But there's one more thing . . ." I

Wcarily. Mr. Bulganuschev call- ed his secretary l

"Take a note for Pravda." hey said. "And for the Soviet Encylo-l pedia. And for the People's Guide to Rcaciionary Myths and Devia- tlonist Fiction (including a Fulll Guide to Capitalist Hy-enas.l

"Claus. S. A well known horn of

moral and educational welfare of.

Grogsblossnm came in trembling. countless small boys . . . Bulganuschev on form and snorted again Gcorgil telephone," he said. aometimes thought it was the only. urncnt. Very Urgent. Most urgcni. 'm n'

"Now. bring me my gamma ray disintegrator and my junior space- s sllii."

.gray dawn to explore their stock-

we've all been able to share our own

of extra elegant jelly or an origi- Hhe peopws Progress has cmmp nal privately invented relish.

lhmed extensively .,,' pen” and. Merry Christmas-to ourself. for S. lhsrmony in the Soviet and to the 1 9'” '"'"-9'- Bl" "'9" W9 lul Pm”

put so much work and excitement

.-out 1 Mr? A4

Christmas Day

()n Christmas Day

ld familiar greetini; that. each year. in some mystic way rings fresh and ture-"Merry Christmas. Like such words as "hello" and "good-by." there really isn't any- thing else to say that pulls at our heartstrings as do these old dear words. And so again we say:

Merry Christmas-to the littlest ones who skip downstairs in the

repeat the

ings and the wondrl.-as tree and to look at Christmas with the special radiance of youth. . . who lend to the rest of us ilttle glimmer: of the real Cbrisdtas glamour. Merry Christmas-to father who'- ll strain a point any day to give us all the things we want . . . who probably works much too hard and yet keeps younger and more alcrt because of the responsiblity of I faintly and the competition of busi- ness . . . who makes the gesture of tut-tutting all the fuss and tea-

Merry Christmas-to mother who really calls the tune for the holiuys and does the planning and pulling together . . . who flutters and bust- les radiantly for weeks ahead and undoubtedly has the best and busi- est time of all.

Merry Christmas-to the butcher. the baker. the candlestick-maker. not to mention all those who sold us shoes and ships and sealing wax ..for what would Christmas be without them? For through them

little prosperity in the most whole- some way of alle-by spending it.

Mcrry Christmas--to dear friends far and near who've sent us greet- ing and gifts . . . most especially do we cherish the greetina be- cause even more than gifts they express the true spirit of Christmas.

Merry Christmas-to the drop- ers-in who come with holiday cheer ind friendship. . . who came to our parties or stop by to leave a glass

ty sure that we'll have no for we've

and loving getting-ready into it. For of course we all get out of Christ- mas just about what we put in.

Coffee Worm er Candles.

A .

l

l I

llpbytheeommitteeifyou like. They meet in April.

"No. you can't arrest a non- existent person and send him to libeda. rm quite sure there's no

Toys.

Horn y CPR Freight is now

am and Homby-Dublo trains. The new on display with accessories and Dinky

transport schedule for nonexistent goods. That's the.'!'ransport Divi- sion (Miscellaneous

Let us help you with your Christmas lay-ewey , it. Keep this ed. for

' The Island Book

cent no so: snmi

gift problem. We have i reference -

Room

Away In A Manger

The stable of Bethlehem did not in any way resemble the airy por- ticos-eomplete with plaster of

animals and adoring shep- - so dear to the heart of modern Christendom.

With comfort increasing through- out the western world. the poverty of the Nativity scene simultane- ously itartles and fascinates us- as perhaps Matthew. the publlcan. was impressed by the story of the Wise Men; and St. Luke. who had been a ship's doctor and probably 'knew very little about shepherds. was charmed by the shepherds abiding in the field.

There was no room in the inn lthat night so Jesus was born in a

istable; a place of shelter hewn 'into a rocky ledge of the Judean lcouniryslde. it was cold and dark jand damp. and Judean travelers- .trequentiy "put up" in such caves l-welcomed rather than disdained ljoini tenancy with beasts because :the breath of the catilc and the heat of their bodies provided a little warmth. while the guests inside the inn had no heat at all.

Th' cave, which was the birth- place of the Saviour, is now a grottr beneath Bethlehenfs Church- lof the Nativity; and though fasci- nated by 'he simplicity of the or- iginal Nativity so:-nc. Christianity- has I) on unwilling to maintain its poverty and has covered the en- tire surface with costly ornament- alion.

'.i,..z,.,.ig;.y.A.Z (L - s s - . - C - - - - - --..---.- V-

Tlle Armenian church observes -Christmas on January 6: the Dutch on December 6: the Frenchi have their own particular Christ-i mas obsecvances. as have the',. Germans.

ll Favorite

Recommended by Santa

Yes. milk is a delicious. nutritious-filled drink ap- proved of and loved by all-even friend Santa! Use it in yourlhollday cookingefor extra fine results . . . keep a bottle handy for a perfect ending to an important meal

PURE MILK CQ., LTD.

-mum:--..-.--..

Drink . . ."

or as a between-meal snack. Order our Garden City milk, ice cream or Garden City Chocolate drink.

'C'CKK'('(K'('('("(KKKKIK'&l4a Acts.

SUIICIS

Christmas gives us an

opportunity to express our

appreciation of your kind

friendship and loyal

patronage; we extend our thanks

i - la 9 mmded R p mu M p non-existent persons to the Unlonp . cu,” m .uj'u::Im."p wm.n.: lift ofusoviet Socialist Republics. , co.-n Iefe - 'l” h t -h I Q

and a gamma ray disintegratur W Zn": :0 t ey 125 g f1"'r'”y";I”"z.s p uxwli um dag!-WI ureaucra . .0 0 cse 1: lshps Scrabbie ,.,.,”,'.":'.'j M; m l;',?:;rg"l,'. "Come to think of it.'." he added ' llV9N'flI'0 Davy Crockett Game ' Ia ieedbvu-snieelil he looked up ;'m;.,1:;”,,, ','?5';”j',;m.'.:';;'; 1,03,? g;f;l;5;l,-L chndrenls Bingo 1 I .inG"" b”"n',.. existent persons to the Union or i i . - Old Maid , C

'You still here. SM t sow" t R M. "h Musical Blackbird Pie .

"Yes. Mr. Claus. sir." "Ga '1' telpuh lcs.Hl-. er Puppets Books Checkers

fs'ge.ll1l. ' -?lI VC "2 C 9 ED GHQ. p

" I write to Iva iv n viich . '. . moaned-in and un "ho; "we're ”':.l:'o"','j2,"' S'""'" smmnv M 0”. Pfmllmtl Sets and Crokinoie ' ".9 e ""7 '.?,;uu pm” He was trying hard to drive de- ar;?lt(lignTT?zil lump Album3

"I0" - - .- a e at cm. :3.” nd of plum Puddings we'tumQ D0”: Nufnerous I K?

at down u a re- ' ' i ' - U - V a x -'".':.-"-.-.'.--v-.. ...... ...... n.:”'..”.'.:::".';'.:.:"i'.';"."9 Items To Wm" ” ”

' o.' said a w ... .' . .' sarso-f she said 0..

T.” h E.” h” ' nu” "ma mechanically into the telephone. - FOR 1 T zhm? A few seconds later, he was b:::' V. bk ' our h 'i't'l;h.a?.sktehat? You say you have krb: ::kdsI:"l9llOI'y. H0”? "305 ill IIICIIY Cm one of him and s. clans rolled "ii hm " " ' nhd ""”' '"' Gm l'”'PP”'l "OM lWN '95 i ' 9; hlwl'h”l::' a" mud Iii " M "But. idiot. of course you can't W-'4 3-N -I "-0 elk 331'-"o1l';n"”r'ln.a' 3'i'iic'ii'u”i7"io"'i5 MECCANO

"You Illl! ID. Grogablossom" . .. um mm. noxious titiee- ill have it taken we are dealers for Mace

C to our many friends and patrons and hope

that the Christmqs Season will be memorable.

A

Dowd Motors Ltd

A

203 Fitzroy Street -'

J '1CCK1KK'l(K(WCK